DD feeling bad after mis-gendering sub teacher.

[ImDuranDuran]

On the way home this afternoon, DD14 explained how she is 'in trouble' after addressing her sub teacher as 'Sir' during a lesson.

It's the first time the teacher has subbed for the class.

Apparently teacher snapped back "Actually it's 'Miss' to you!".

I asked DD if the teacher had made any announcement at the beginning of the lesson regarding pronoun preference and she's adamant that they did not.

I'm concerned that DD now thinks she's in trouble and to be honest I'm pissed off. It was a genuine mistake and she's 14. She would never intentionally try to embarrass a teacher.

If the teacher had pulled her aside afterwards and explained the situation I might be more understanding.

Should I just leave it?

https://safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

Not relevant to my point. In that case the experimenters (a) removed irrelevant markers (b) directed attention specifically to the question of sex. We have multiple people on this thread saying that their sex is frequently misidentified, under real world conditions.

OP sorry your DD has been made to feel this way in a place where she should feel safe and protected.
Isnt this world hard enough for our kids without having to worry about 'pronouns' in their safe learning place?.
Stop projecting this bollocks on our children and let them find their way in this world without feeling judged or scared to have their own opinions.

I'm not really sure why people are acting like your DD was given a hard time and "how dare they!!!" All they did was correct her. If you don't agree with the political side that's one thing, but to act like they gave her a hard time because she misgenered them is crap. They made one comment and left it. Shes not in trouble and seems a touch dramatic.

she isn't in trouble the teacher was being an arsehole and shouldn't have embarrassed your Dd. Even teenagers do t know if they are coming or going with this nonsense , the teacher should have introduced themselves because look like a man and all that !

I would email the school to complain that your child was unfairly and unprofessionally reprimanded in public, and is now stressed upset and confused, and I would ask that to avoid this situation in future, any substitute teachers state at the beginning of the class how they prefer to be addressed. I would also remind the school that all school staff have a legal obligation to respect and not discriminate against gender critical children, ie that staff cannot insist that preferred pronouns are used, they can only request this. I would remind them of the Prime Minister’s stance on the issue that “A man is a man”.

Ironically this aggressive dominance and lack of respect for a female child reminds me much more of one sex than the other 🧐

If bullies aren’t called out, they get worse. Particularly those who psychologically bully children.

I would also be very clear to my child about the politics to all this and I would discuss my views on what the “Be kind” movement has become.

I agree.

😁

Ironically this aggressive dominance and lack of respect for a female child reminds me much more of one sex than the other 🧐

Yes!!

Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it.

My friend is a teacher and because she has short hair she gets called sir all of the time.

It only gets offensive if someone is intentionally misgendering them.

Did the teacher not say I’m Miss….

Thank you all. I'm genuinely grateful for all of your contributions.

I'm going to let DD read the thread this evening to reassure her that she's done absolutely nothing wrong here.

It's a combination of having her feel embarrassed for a genuine 'mistake' and having this self-important-piece-of-work feeling like he's 'got one over' on a 14 year old, that's pissing me off so much.

How do you know the teacher is biologically male?

No. No reference to pronouns whatsoever.

How do you know the teacher is biologically male

My daughter told me he was.

Often happens - I’m a female teacher and have been called sir, mum and dad numerous times. I get kids names wrong too sometimes!
Same here. Any adult who emotionally falls apart or snaps at children for a slip of the tongue like this shouldn't be teaching.

Good job "they" don't teach in early years isn't it

The point is that she wasn't just corrected, she was "snapped" at.

But whether you like it or not the world is changing, and I don’t think it’s a hugely onerous task to teach children to just respect how other people want to label themselves regardless of whether you agree or disagree with it.

But whose respect comes first? Especially when those making the most noise are the ones labelling other people.
Respect goes both ways.

She was being taught by a man and should not feel bad about this. She will not get into trouble.

Forgetting for the moment the red herring that this may, in fact be a female (I doubt it), then I don't agree @Mrsttcno1 that the child should be forced to call the teacher what they want to be called.

Compelled speech should be banned in schools. Children should not be forced to go along with a teacher's gender illusions.

I'm.a female teacher who gets called sir all the time, I don't look like a man it's just automatic.

Why didn’t the teacher just write their name on the board?

When I was a teacher I used to get called "sir" "miss" "mum" and even "dad" once. It was not because children were misidentifying my sex. It was because sometimes they blurt out random shit when they're in a rush or on the spot, for example when they really want to be the first to tell you the answer to something. As a teacher it's a basic professional standard to not take it personally.

But the teacher said they were female.

So it just sounds like they are a biological woman but your DD thought they looked masculine and said sir.

a) It depends on the behaviour policy of the school
b) It depends if the supply teacher has actually read the behaviour policy in the 20-30 minutes between being phoned with an address and turning up ready to work.

Edit: Sorry misunderstood the question as the antecedents were confusing. Thought you meant why didn't the teacher write the child's name on the board as a form of behaviour management (as it's a common one).

Quite,then they could just call him Brian.