So what are your silver linings in the gender wars?

[BettyFilous]

In the interests of balance, what have the upsides of the gender wars been for you?

For me:

• Introduced me to highly engaging and thought-provoking thinkers, writers and podcasters
• Got me reading far more widely than I was when I was in my comfy groove
• Made me think much more critically and check my assumptions in all aspects of my life
• Showed me what a collective force women can be and how we tackle significant problems with creativity, wit and good humour
• Róisín Murphy! How could I have missed such a bright talent?

There’s so much more but that’ll do for now. Happy Thursday!

Definitely taught me to question things more, and not trust that the 'right' people to have thought about things honestly/critically

Women are really funny 😂

Watching the women's movement blossom. Much of it underground to keep women safe from the right wing trans extremists but such a joy to have connected with so many thoughtful, funny & wise women.

I think the biggest one is how much it's revitalised UK feminism and brought together women of different backgrounds.

Made me think more about what feminism is and made me read a lot of different things - Kimberlé Crenshaw a particular highlight

Helped me process my first marriage (to a desistor) in a different way

Genuinely loosened some attachment to gender stereotypes I didn't know I had - o would say that is all down to the trans movement and a real positive

Learned a lot about gifs.

I discovered Tunnocks teacakes.

Oh, and I realised that I wasn't on my own.

That most politicians are scarily incompetent and accept whatever they are told without putting any thought into evaluating an idea. A real eye-opener!

Norman Tebbit wasn't the bad man I thought. In fact everything I thought I knew about politics has been turned upside down and shaken about.

The humour and intelligence on these boards and on gender critical twitter is incredible - no longer need bbc radio 4 or channel 4 luvvie establishment for amusement as they're all so timid and eager to avoid actually thinking about anything the trans movement.

As PP have said, realising how dim some politicians of all stripes are even if they sound awfully clever. David Lammy with his cervix nonsense, Greens with their mindless slogans, Libdems with their 'everything should be mixed sex', SNP with their GRA bullshit etc etc. None of you are worthy of my vote.

Glinner: just a hero( I’ve never seen Father Ted)
Mr Menno : brilliant

The glow of self justification that my innate mistrust of the two early adopters I came across in person as a young woman was totally justified and was not me being a prig.

bugger my boots, though, I’m clutching at straws here in the midst of ruin and disaster.

Realising how brave JK Rowling is compared to her wimpy contemporaries (looking at you pair of spineless misogynists Gaiman and Pullman)

Addiction to FWR on Mumsnet.
Liberated me from my slavish loyalty to the Guardian and Beeb.
Realised that kindness needs to be considered and not conferred over liberally and that sometimes a strong boundary is kindness itself.
Strengthened my bond with friends who have come to similar realisations.
Sharpened my wits.
Refused to be intimidated by screechy tras.
For starters.....

Pronouns in a bio or email signature is a helpful short cut to indicate that the owner doesn't care about women or hasn't really thought it through

it’s made me more open minded and questioning. And less tribal -I used to discount stories in newspapers if I didn’t agree with their slant. Now I realize that you an agree with people on some things but not others and that’s fine.

😁
Upsides

Have met some wonderful people on here, even if only online

Oh and

I published a book! Wasn't expecting that to happen - truly radicalised by Mumsnet!

Probably not what you mean, and apologies for lowering the tone, but I had a sex dream about Kathleen Stock. It was really good😳 I am not even remotely not-straight, this was quite an interesting experience for me😅 Wouldn't have known her name if it weren't for the trans rights debate.

For me it’s seeing women my age (50 something) who have just gone with the flow for years not wanting to rock the boat now standing up and saying ‘this is bullshit and I’m not having my rights eroded’

Women who for years have stayed silent are finding their voice and it’s a brilliant thing

😆 at least it was good dream sex!

I said on another thread earlier i wanted to go to bed with Helen Joyce! (It was a bad choice of words I admit as we were taking about audio books as a cure for insomnia!)

This is great to read. I’m in a particularly cynical phase right now so I appreciate a positive thread.

I have come to appreciate the strength and courage of women.

I will soon be returning to the UK and intend to become much more active in campaigning for women’s rights.

Like others, some of my political beliefs and assumptions have been turned on their heads. Norman Tebbit? Who knew? Though I suspect there is a big wedge between Conservatives then and now (big and small c).

Oh and I have learned a lot about myself and my courage and the fact that I’m no longer willing to appease or lie. I’m not sure what the consequences of that will be when I return to the UK, but I was out on Twitter and in various (semi) public online spaces in my profession and I’m not going back in any boxes. I will find out where that leads me in due course, but I am not going to be silenced, come what may.

I contributed (badly) to Boiled's book!

It’s given me a fire in my belly over something I feel passionately about - a feeling I don’t think I have felt since I joined CND as a 15 year old in the 1980’s 😂

Enabled me to connect with feminism/women’s rights and feel part of a shared tribe of amazing women - even been to a few conferences and events - something I would never have done before. So liberating to feel free to speak in those spaces unlike the button upped, gentle gentle approach I feel I have to take to get people to question gender woo in my professional life.

This board on Mumsnet 🙂