So what are your silver linings in the gender wars?

[BettyFilous]

In the interests of balance, what have the upsides of the gender wars been for you?

For me:

• Introduced me to highly engaging and thought-provoking thinkers, writers and podcasters
• Got me reading far more widely than I was when I was in my comfy groove
• Made me think much more critically and check my assumptions in all aspects of my life
• Showed me what a collective force women can be and how we tackle significant problems with creativity, wit and good humour
• Róisín Murphy! How could I have missed such a bright talent?

There’s so much more but that’ll do for now. Happy Thursday!

I’m not British and to be completely honest, I had some misconceptions about British women (I thought you lot were mostly uptight, boring and Mumsnet was for prissy fuddy-duddies).

I have been thoroughly disabused of such erroneous notions and now look at the world around me in a more positive light. Still not a joiner or ‘woman’s woman’ but MNFWR women are funny, smart, wise, learned, incisive, thoughtful, compassionate and courageous. Love ya!!!

OP - mine are similar to yours. I’ve discovered all sorts of interesting people, authors and podcasts that definitely wouldn’t have been on my radar before. Douglas Murray is a particularly surprising favourite these days even though once upon a time his politics would have made me stop listening!

I’ve abandoned The Guardian and BBC news website and have taken out a subscription to The Times.

And after seeing the way the BBC and Guardian have behaved in all this I don’t take anything I read at face value.

Like many, a complete turn around from getting news from BBC/Guardian to binning both as completely anti-women.
Finding this board when I was in a very low place, after reading and agreeing with JKR's essay but none my go-to sources supported her and worse, said she was wrong. I knew she wasn't and felt alone and scared till I found this site.
So, being here and feeling part of this community and having had my eyes opened are the huge positives for me

Wish I had written this, you express how I feel too, but much more eloquently!

1. Introduced me to some amazing thinkers and content creators
2. Had me thinking meaningfully about feminism again and re-engaging with the second-wavers, after years of lazily being a third wave choice feminist
3. Brought me a new and increasingly close and wonderful friendship with a woman who I initially bonded with over gender madness
4. Watching Little OJ being exposed as a misogynistic bully and flailing was v funny

It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve felt political or feminist

Its helped me broaden my lazy left=good, right=bad, binary thinking

Ive clarified my thoughts on free speech

Oh, and Ben Cooper, of course.

It has given me a good understanding of how modern politics works, especially how big corporations work with small groups of committed activists. I used to see these two groups as always on opposite sides of a political divide but now see what can be achieved when the two work hand in glove. It is frightening.

The revival of grass roots feminism of all political stripes. I go to FILIA or a WPUK meeting and it reminds me of the Women’s Liberation conferences I went to in the late 1970s.

😂

I had a dream about JK Rowling last night.

It wasn't a sex dream but we were in the same room and I was totally awestruck but I plucked up the courage to say hello and tell her how much I admire her, and she was totally lovely.

That reminds me I had a dream about Graham Linehan recently. Also not a sex dream.

But he gave me a big hug which was rather lovely.

Most of what's been said already. But for me, specifically:

1. Meeting lovely new feminist women who are funny and clever and committed to this cause
2. Revival of the women's movement and the general communitarian spirit it's engendered (related to point 1)
3. Feeling of pride in being part of Terf Island
4. Ditching the Guardian for the Times and discovering a whole bunch of really good writers
5. Thinking more critically about some of the crap that left-wing thinkers write, and being able to recognise it as crap - conversely, reading some more right-wing thinkers and realising they're not all evil and stupid
6. This is a bit double-edged, but finding that this is an issue that enables you to differentiate people who are genuinely good from those that just follow the crowd. Who'd have thought that of all the people working in entertainment who might have stood up for women's rights, the one person to do so would be the co-writer of Father Ted? Not me. But it has also made me realise that people I used to admire are absolute cowards, which is sad.
7. The absolute feeling of pleasure that comes from knowing, for once in your life, that you are on the right side of history: that this is an entirely righteous cause, and I am lucky to be a part of it. I guess this is how the suffragettes felt, and the anti-apartheid activists and the civil rights activists in the 1960s. I have never had a moment's doubt that we are fighting for what is good and true and that future generations will thank us.

It's made me realise how much of a quiet feminist my own (sadly long deceased) mother was in the toys/ clothes and advice she gave me. I wish I had realised sooner and been able to thank her.

It's given me the confidence to challenge my DH and DSs in my own, heavily male-dominated, family!

Being part of the ReSisters groups and subsequently meeting my wife! Cheers, TRAs.

Oh, wow, that is so lovely! 😍

Using they/them pronouns more as a routine thing for people I don't know well, which to me is a positive, compared to the daftness of giving your preferred pronouns.

How exciting. Would it be fair to describe KS as ' austerely beautiful ' ?

I've always wanted to write that phrase down!

The realisation I can have a spectrum of opinions and still be a good person. I always identified as a "lefty" and took great pride in that, thinking you had to be a lefty to be a good person, but the GC situation obviously meant I wasn't allowed to identify as a lefty anymore. So I don't pigeon hole myself anymore. I have a variety of opinions depending on the context and think about things more carefully now, independently, rather than ignorantly following a superficial belief system.

Putting myself first for once. If anyone has a meltdown over that I'll call them a waaaahmbulance. No fucks left to give.

Less pressure to dress “feminine”.

• Showed me I'm not alone in my beliefs even though my workplace is captured hard
• Gave me some excellent data and facts to support my perspectives (Thanks Emma Hilton)
• Gave me some great one-liners to avoid ridiculous debates
• Introduced me to Aja who I have a massive crush on now despite being straight
• Weirdly people like Graham L, James Dreyfus, Ricky Gervais, Mr Menno etc. who've been in the war from the start restored my faith in some men

MN! Some wonderful voices on here, all the superlatives.

I have learned, no longer automatically Labour good/Tories bad. The Guardian can fuck right off. Never thought I'd have time for the DM. Strange days. And I've poemed.

😂

That's just reminded of when Babdoc had to go on a thread to state that GL was not the father of her child!

😍 I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to top that!