Groups for bisexual women who are not into gender woo?

[NonnyMouse1337]

Maybe FWR isn't the most appropriate place for this thread, but given it has the highest concentration of 'Gender Critical' posters, I figured it's worth a try.

Does anyone know of or is part of a group specifically for bisexual women who are gender critical / understand the reality of two sexes?

It's great that lesbians and gay men are setting up groups specifically for them since the whole TQ+ movement is not representative of same-sex sexual orientation (but also sad that it needs to be done all over again). Lesbians and gay men bear the brunt of gender activism in terms of the distortion and erasure of homosexuality.

But it would be nice to have a space to talk to other bisexual women who aren't signed up to gender woo. It seems like most bisexual women I come across in real life have swallowed the TQ nonsense. All the 'bisexual' support groups have morphed into TQ ones and now they are rebranding bisexuality as a nonsensical 'Bi+' identity.

It would be nice to not feel like I'm the only bisexual who hasn't gone down the gender rabbit hole. Surely there are more of us out there... Is there a group for GC bisexual women? If not, would there be any interest in one?

Hi OP. I'm bisexual too, although I would guess I barely qualify as such these days as I've now spent half my life in a 'heteronormative' relationship. The LGB umbrella has never had much time for my ilk; it's even been viewed as a 'betrayal' (as if this accuser had no idea what the term 'bisexual' actually means) - and I'll grant you I get an easier fist of things than I would had I been living all this time with a female partner, so in that sense I do kind of take the point.

But I've been struck by what I see as an increase in biphobia lately - to the point where even our very sexuality has been viewed as 'transphobic'. Apparently that's because, to use that tired old biphobic trope, we are none-too fussed about who we jump into bed with so the only acceptable terminology is now pansexual. I find this gratuitously offensive and coercive, and will have no part of it.

I'm so weary of this shit. I had thought society was now growing out of this kind of tedious prejudice, but can only begin to imagine what it's like for lesbians.

I'm not sure I'd have any need for a group, but did want to let you know you are not alone!

I've been bi for a couple or years - a later in life conversion (a couple of years after I became GC, as it happens). I haven't bothered to tell most people or do much about it as it looks so toxic out there. Recently a lesbian acquaintance suggested I join a queer group. I smiled politely and changed the subject.

LGB Alliance would be a start and they could put you in touch with GC Bisexual groups. And I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

I would have thought that most people referring to themselves as bisexual can't be too deep into genderwoo, for the reason SerafinasGoose explains - bisexuality is predicated on the notion that sex is binary, and any self-respecting gender identity ideologue will have rebranded as pansexual long ago.

So generally, I'd assume that you're among people who still believe in biological sex if you're among bisexuals - it's actually quite an effective way to filter out the woo types.

Maybe you should start your own online group. I'm sure there must be loads of people in your position.

Thanks for responding @SerafinasGoose . There does seem to be an entrenched notion that bisexuals will jump into bed with anyone. 'Pansexuals' are very civilised though - apparently attracted to people's souls, not icky things like sexed bodies. Hmmm yeah right... 🙄🙄

Yes every social group is queer this and queer that. If you are a young or older person coming to terms with your sexual orientation, and looking for support or like-minded people, these are the only options available. It's dire.

I would love to join such a group.

Im not even sure if im lesbian or Bi. Think im lesbian but had relationships with men before (internalised homophobia? Trying for an easy life?). Regardless never been happy with men. But not accepted by any lesbians I've met as I've got that history. Come across the assumption that Bi just means I want to shag anyone and everything from others too many times. In particular in the dating world Bi looking to be with a women attracted Trans individuals same as when I switched to being a lesbian.

I don't even care what my label is I just want to meet with others who are like me people who can relate to each other. Work out who I am, connect with others outside of trying to date!

Suprised by the comments.
Shouldn’t people be hounding op for reasons why she needs a label?
Just be who you are, you donmt need special names to such a ordinary thing!
No need to make it you whole personality, no one cares about your sex life, don’t bring it here?
Did I forget something? Oh, yeah, you’re not special, just live your life just like the rest of us.
😇

Thanks for the suggestion @QueenHippolyta . LGB Alliance have quite a lot on their plate already, although there are local LGBA groups starting up across the UK, and some university-specific ones which are much needed.
I haven't come across any groups specifically for bisexual women. I suppose it's a bit niche, even in GC circles. 😄

Sadly these alphabet activist types like to appropriate and colonise. You would think a term like bisexual would be fairly self-explanatory and reality based, but for quite a few years now the activists have redefined bisexuality as being 'attracted to two or more genders'. 🙄🙄 It's very stupid but lots of people have gone along with it.

But the term itself still refers to an awkward and inconvenient truth: bi-sexual.
So now the alphabet activists have decided to re-brand it to Bi+ - a trendy new identity. I don't know why they can't leave it alone and stick to something like pansexual.

And if you think I'm making it up, check out one of the types of glossary here.

https://www.equality-network.org/lgbti-glossary/

Bi / bisexual / biromantic
Terms describing people who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of more than one gender or regardless of gender.

We use the umbrella term bi+ to include all of these identities as well as pan, queer and others.

I've been bi for a couple or years - a later in life conversion (a couple of years after I became GC, as it happens).

Similar here in a way. Realised quite recently. I have nobody to talk about it really, and while it shouldn’t need to be a big deal - I’m still just me, after all - it does feel like a big deal to me, it’s all tied up in other stuff and when I have hinted at this to friends I’ve had comments that made it clear I can’t be open about it with them.

I really feel for young people questioning their sexuality at the moment, it’s difficult enough at any time but it must be hard to find support that doesn’t push them into identifying as pan (I might like men and women but that doesn’t mean I’d feel any attraction to a man dressed as a woman or vice versa!) - or trans, if they aren’t gender conforming in the way they dress etc.

What I meant to say was, yes I’d be keen to join a group chat or something. No idea if there’s something on FB as I only use that for messenger really.

TBH although I have quite a few GC friends I would love to have a local group who actually met up etc (not specific to any sexuality) - I have only met one GC person “in the wild” - got talking about Kathleen Stock at a local exhibition - and I really wish we’d swapped emails or something! I’ve googled my town name + gender critical but the results were all newspaper articles about transphobia.

Yes, I would join in with a group chat. My first female relationship was before this recent GC/stuff. Recently been called a tourist by a Lesbian, it was a joke, but it was said out loud in a bar.
It seems that it has made coming out more difficult. The tribes are more entrenched and need the labels more. My recent relationship broke partly because she wanted to keep it secret.

another bi-girl here (and the apparent "reference" in my user-name is entirely accidental before anyone frets about it, I'm very certain about being bi!)

as you're all saying, it's all become much more fraught...again...and having just got out of a long relationship I have no idea what the rules are now, or who meets where, or how...

I might just stay in with a book 😉

Possibly. Would need some form of vetting to ensure the usual troublemakers are kept out. 🤔

I think there's a lesbian group on Reddit called r/latebloomerlesbians
I've never used it since I'm not a lesbian but I know an older women who is/was married to a man, had kids etc but realised much later in life that she is a lesbian, and she mentioned this group. Maybe you might find it useful too given your experiences?

I think Reddit is very entrenched on the gender woo though.

I can understand the reasons for friction between lesbians and bisexual women. I don't think there are any in-person spaces exclusively for bisexual women, which is why they might have to end up in lesbian bars etc.
An online space would be a good start though!

Thanks for the kind remarks about "being a tourist". I am really hoping to meet someone in everyday life. As I did my last GF.

Cruising Gay & Lesbian bars is not for me I think. I also might prefer a good book or a brisk walk along with @uncertainalice.

I, too. Bi is a totally different species, it seems to me, and I've never presumed to invite myself into an exclusively lesbian space. Bars and clubs are not my favoured ways of meeting someone, anyway.

It seems more important than ever to respect such boundaries now, considering the onslaught lesbians are experiencing from elsewhere.

NB. there are plenty of general gay/LGB pubs and clubs about if you like that sort of thing. I'd happily go to those - but if someone wanted a space for lesbians only I'd stay away.

Hello 😁. Bi here too, definitely not pan. I'd be interested in an online space.

Another GC bi woman, also interested in an online space. I want to respect lesbian's rights to gather alone, but it gets wearing when people hear "bi" and assume spicy straight, threesomes or open marriages. I'm not a traitor to date a man, any more than if I choose a women. We're not all sex maniacs; we are just fortunate enough to find both sides attractive.

My angle on this is that at some times in my life I have been attracted to men. I married and later divorced one.
Since then I have been attracted to a woman we were together for a while, we broke up.
I have been GC all my adult life I think. When I was 20 nobody was asking those questions. Do you feel the need to answer those questions?
Most likely I shall carry on and see what turns up.