Adam Kay

[AsTreesWalking]

Anyone hear Desert Island Discs this morning? He's quite an interesting fellow, who resigned as a doctor in obstetrics because he couldn't bear his grief over deaths of babies and mothers.
Imagine my surprise-disbelief- to hear that he and his husband have 2 babies under a year old from 2 surrogate mothers. And he actually said that he hopes the children will forgive any mistakes they will make...

For the week or two preceeding
The days your other half is bleeding,
The moody bch is in a stress
Complaining about PMS

errr

right…

Wow, he's a foul and disgusting person. I hope that when he gets old or sick, his paid female carers and his surrogacy babies treat him with the warmth and kindness he has earned.

I'm astonished to see someone advance the argument that he was forced into surrogacy because some of his issues in the past would have made him an unsuitable candidate for adoption of fostering. Poor babies. A baby deprived of its mother at birth needs a parent who would be assessed as competent by social services. Not one who is using surrogacy as a way around the fact that they wouldn't.

And some speak like that's fine and natural? I despair.

I've never heard a Desert Island Discs like that.

Adam Kay is a foul misogynist piece of shit and I feel sorry for his children. In the way I felt sorry for the women he humiliated and treated as comedy fodder in his books. His hatred of women and disgust at the female body shines through in every word.

Here is a song Adam Kay wrote and performed for years:

This is a national service announcement for all men
If you go to Bolton
If you go to Manchester
Or crewe
Newcastle, or Scarborough
York, or Scunthorp, Bradford, Barnsley too
Or Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say
Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting aids
There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class
Slags who take it up the arse
They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
and your dick won't touch the sides
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da
Northern Birds
Da-da-da-da-da
If you really have to
Go up north then follow our advice
Fight away the women
Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice
And herpes
Your much better staying in the South
Northern Birds
Are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry
With a peanut for a brain
And an accent that makes you want to die
Now you've been warned
They're all physically deformed
Northern birds
Are all obese
And they're riddled with disease
Try to escape
Northern sex is worse than rape
Stay down south and mark my words
Stear well clear of northern birds
Northern birds
Northern birds

Just read the lyrics, he's fucking awful.

He breached patient confidentiality repeatedly and traumatised women who had PTSD from a traumatic birth and then had him write about it for laughs and mega bucks. He is utterly repulsive.

What he thinks about elderly women:

“with pelvic floors like quicksand and their uteri stalactite-ing into their thermals... And then a patient sneezes, you have to get a mop and bucket.”

It's not gallows humour. It's someone who is so fucking offensive he should be cancelled, and who we can only be greatful no longer goes anywhere near a vulnerable woman's body. Abuse isn't just smacking your girlfriend round after you've had a drink. Adam Kay abused women every time he opens his sad mouth to talk about them.

What he thinks about elderly women:

“with pelvic floors like quicksand and their uteri stalactite-ing into their thermals... And then a patient sneezes, you have to get a mop and bucket.”'

Women's bodies are so fucking hilarious, aren't they, when you don't have to live in one

Abusing women is fair game. It's allowed.

It's something to be celebrated for, not cancelled.

There's a thread on a different forum about his side of the term "pregnant people/person".

Reassuringly it hasn't gone down well.

Reading his books mad eme feel really uncomfortable. A sibling who is a JCP said "I've worked with men like him, I hate them"

Presumably they needed the money then?
If you need the money, it's not true consent.

You shouldnt be allowed to traffic humans. There are laws about it in every other aspect of human trafficking yet for some strange reason babies seem to be the exception.

Apparently becoming a doctor was a 'default decision'. Maybe he could have put the training to work in a less stressful field for himself?

(Not writing obstetric text books 😬)

Anyway he seems to have found himself a more lucrative career.

I didn't watch the series as the book was so disgusting but I thought this was a rare misstep by Ben Whishaw. Perhaps as a gay man, women's pain and humiliation are not really one his radar? I hope that's not the case as I have always liked his work.

Not every country allows it.
He seems to have made the decision to use a country with laxer laws than here. Which really ought to give pause to anyone who thinks it is all fine.

If he had issues in his past which barred him from adoption/fostering and he's gone abroad to somewhere with more lax laws for surrogacy, what does that say about whether he should have kids?

The idea he was 'forced into surrogacy' then starts to raise eyebrows.

What would he be forced to do if going and getting a surrogacy abroad was prohibited?

What else would be justified?

Good luck to the kids.

Why 'order' two children so close together in age? I read another article by a surrogate who had a similar terrible experience with a hetero couple. They used 2 different surrogates simultaneously so that if one pregnancy didn't go to term, they had a back up. Grim

Not only that but he and his husband procured the babies from the US.

As a doctor he should know that maternal outcomes are worse in the US health system than in the UK.

The reason he and his husband chose the US of course is the better consumer protection it provides for those paying for a woman to carry a pregnant for them.

There’s an interview/ article in the Observer / Guardian online today which says the two babies (presumably one each for him and his husband) are two months and six months old, and that he wasn’t able to fly out to the US for the birth because “a difficult pregnancy” led to a phonecall about an imminent birth.

When I read this post my reaction was “What???? He watched a woman bleed to death from a PPH and then decided to pay for two women to go through pregnancy so that he and his husband could have a baby each?”

Then I read the rest of the thread which makes clear that everything he has ever written shows him to be a vile misogynist who despises women.

And then I remembered reading a report a while back, where data showed that male surgeons have (statistically significant) different outcomes for male v. female patients, with worse outcomes for female patients; whereas female surgeons don’t have different outcomes depending on the patient’s sex. The key finding being: if you’re female, you’re safer with a female doctor, as she is less likely to kill you than a male doctor.

I note the comment somewhere up thread that he’d been told that, no matter how good a doctor you are, you’ll have a certain number of patient losses and that’s why he quit. But that’s his version of that conversation. It’s also the case (according to the stats) that male doctors a greater risk to female patients than female doctors. And it seems to me to be entirely plausible that being a massive misogynist who holds women in contempt would be a factor in the greater risk faced by female patients.

According to the Observer one of those two babies is called Ruby. I feel sorry for her; a misogynist for a parent, and no mother to protect her.

Exactly

How do gay men become parents?
Well not many do. A friend donated sperm to a lesbian couple and has an EOW arrangement with them - they all seem very happy and have 4 kids now.
Men are not able to have babies, women do. We do not owe them our children.

I loved the humorous aspects of the books with some of his a and e cases but then the tone felt wrong towards women. I then have heard him on a couple of podcasts and found him unbearable. So condescending and sounded really bitter and superior. Not a nice person I'd wager