If I woke up tomorrow and was a man...

[Kinsters]

Just musing on sex and gender and trying to decide how I would really feel if I woke up tomorrow and I was a man.

Clothes, hobbies, make-up wouldn't change really. I don't really care much what people think of my appearance but I think there would be advantages to being perceived as a man, especially at work.

I wouldn't like being bigger in size. I like being small because I can fit more easily in places (writing that down it sounds silly). I'm sure there are advantages to being bigger/male proportioned that I've never known about or considered. It'd be great to be stronger too. Sex wise, if my DH was at the same time turned into a woman I think we could make it work. It would be an adjustment though.

I don't think waking up as a man would affect any of my day to day interactions - I could still do all the things I do with my kids. Maybe some of my friendships would be different but I have both male and female friends so maybe not.

I guess I just feel that fundamentally I wouldn't be that different. Anyone else pondered this and reached the same or different conclusion? Don't get me wrong, I like being a woman (although now I've been thinking about this a while - do I like being a woman? Really?). I guess I accept being a woman would be a better way of putting it. It is interesting to think how different life would be if I was a man.

@Kinsters You're missing a major component in your musings I think. You think your personality won't change, but you're forgetting that your brain will be swimming in a completely different bath or hormones.

Your emotions already change based on your hormones, you'd be a completely different person if you were a man.

I have often thought about what would I do if I woke up with a male body. Have a wee standing up would be the first thing, have a wank, lift loads of heavy things and try to have sex with a woman. As deep as a puddle, I know.

I have absolutely no desire in the slightest bit to be a man, not even for a day. I love being a woman. I even like having periods, every period it reminds me that I still have a chance of having another baby. I love men (my dad, my other half etc) but wouldn’t want to be one!

I wouldn’t want to be a man, I’d like to have the male privileges and live my life in peace the way men get to live.
But I wouldn’t want to be perceived as a man but other men.
The horror 😱!
Just imagine how they talk about women/girls, and now they’d think I’m one of them/ agree with them.
No way!

I don't want to be one either; but I do think men have it easier than women overall. No periods, orgasm through intercourse more consistently, not have to take on the mental labour if they are married/living with a partner, physically stronger, have more rights overall around the world.

I have thought about this before, as it has been proposed as proof that we all do possess some abstract inner gendered soul, i.e., ask yourself how you would feel if you suddenly woke up as the other sex.

This doesn't work, in any case, as the feelings we might have in that situation would consist of a large mess of different things, and most of them would be about the fact that a giant change has taken place overnight.

To feel weird about that would not tell us anything about the gender of our souls if we believe in souls, and because we can 'identify' as someone living in a sexed body (which is NOT the same type of gender identity but moored in biology), confused feelings would be the norm for most people exposed to that experiment. Even the vast majority who probably don't believe in abstract gendered souls.

But I did think of this (and many related arguments) often during the last decade, so I can tell you that first I would get dressed (in my usual jeans and t-shirt) and I would go out to visit all sorts of places (various authorities, stores, pubs..) to see how I would be treated. Would I be as invisible in some as I now am? Would I be treated with more respect? Would I be less visible in pubs and treated with more respect?

Would I notice how women see me? Do they respect me, fear me, ignore me?

I'd go out at night to see how that feels, too. Perhaps drinking and then crawling back home, alone.

Then I'd probably do the wanking...

If women woke up tomorrow as men, they'd get a 9.8% payrise ( on average).

If I woke up tomorrow as a man, I'd get some idea how it must be to be trans.
I can imagine feeling incredibly distressed, and like my body wasn't me - wouldn't feel that way if I woke up as somebody else who was female.
Love men, having relationships with them, but being one?
No.
I am a woman, both in body and self identity.

I’d be lauded as a hero for single-handedly raising my 2 DC.

I’ll always remember the fuss made over Dads being involved in baby groups , Stay and Play etc and weren’t they all
wonderful to give their wives/girlfriends a break etc .

Er no.

Admittedly it’s been 23 years since my first experiences with baby groups but I doubt things have changed that much.

If I wake up as a man do that mean the father of my kids wakes up as a woman?

I would LOVE to wake up as a man and experience life free from sexual heckling and discrimination. I'd love to feel safe. I'd love to be taken seriously by the doctor. Love to be able to work without worrying about the kids etc etc. but as my kids dad doesn't put kids first and walked out in caring for disabled child and I'm the only one who can look after him my life would stay exactly the same because all my life is is carer. If I could dump disabled child on his mother nee mother and just be fun weekend dad rock on.

I've had 3 kids who have ruined my body. I don't mind saying goodbye to the sag and flab. Would waking up as a man repair the damage done to me from medical staff ignoring my complaints when in labour that has left me with a broken bladder?

If I were a man I would be straight. Cuz currently I'm bi with no life so celibate but so hurt by men I never want a man near me ever again. Give me male liberty and a woman to treat fair and share respect. I'd be happy.

But if I woke up as a man in the body I have then I'm a woman. If I woke up with the mind I have and the body is genetically male I'm a man. If only it were possible but it's not.

If I'd been born male I'd have been named Martin. I've often thought about who I would be as Martin.

If I woke up as a man tomorrow, I'd improve the sex ratio at my 75% female workplace, and my 95%female profession. I'd be really interested to see how people treated me. I'd like to try things that need more upper body strength just to experience that - my sport looks really different with male and female participants.

I don’t think I’d like the way men don’t talk about feelings and engage on an emotional level. The pressure to ‘be strong’ wouldn’t work well with me.

And I wouldn’t like the pressure of being the main earner/a provider as I’m chronically ill so simply can’t be that.

But I’d love to suddenly be able to expect to have someone looking after me as a matter if fact rather than still having to carry the mental load etc and not feeling guilty that I’m asking my dh, a man!, to carry out the HW and so on all on his own.

id love to be able to organise my life thinking about myself first and the rest if the family second. That would be a great change from thinking about everyone else well-being before my own.

And feeling safer.

Hmm. This is really selling it to me !
The only thing I suppose I wouldn’t want to swap is growing and feeding babies.

Whilst I don't think men are generally as fearful as women I do think they are always on guard, always ready to go on the attack if someone threatens them in any way. I'd find it exhausting having to maintain that level of aggression and competition.

Also I would hate having to do all that male locker room idiocy, the one upmanship, the 'banter', the putting of Ralgex into underpants, talking about cars and general blokeyness.

I would love the ability to look in the mirror and thing fuck I'm great (whatever I look like) rather than am I looking fat/old/tired/tarty/muttony

I'd like the extra money.

Oh dear, Plamodesmata. You are “clearly” out of date. Of COURSE, very “clearly”, some men do have periods. Haven’t you been following the Lib Dem leader?

Yes, trans men can still get periods.
Whether you like it or not, they are recognised as men.

I’d go for a long run (no sports bra needed) and break all my PBS thanks to my bigger frame/heart/lungs etc.. and then I’d do press-ups to see how much easier they are with a different muscle amount/distribution.

And the I’d walk through town to see what it’s like to not be walked at constantly and not have chuggers jump in front of you waving their clipboards in your face ..

I don’t mind being a woman most of the time, especially since taking tranexamic acid for my heavy periods.

I’ve often thought having to shave your face every day looks like a right pain. Sure, I’ve got my own assortment of chin hairs but they can be quickly tweezered every few days. The chance of going bald as a man is pretty high as well. Losing most of my hair would make me pretty sad.

That’s a man issue with your husband though, not just the fact that he is a man.

No multiple orgasms though as a man (or extremely rarely anyway, I have heard that it is possible for men to have them!)

Most 35 year old men I know have kids and a wife/girlfriend, so I wouldn’t say no responsibility!

I’m a man, if I woke up as a woman I think the thing that I would be most intrigued about would be orgasms. Female orgasms seem ‘stronger’ if that is the right word, and last longer, and the ability to have a few in a short time…..

I had a medical student boyfriend once who told me (though I have no idea if it's true) that if men had the same muscle strength as women down below they'd be able to pee over the top of St Paul's Cathedral.