Her App - Terfs get out

[LexMitior]

It's lesbian visibility week, and Her App (lesbian dating) sent all its users a messages on terfs, and how they should leave the app.

Now this is pretty aggressive... is this a marketing ploy? Seems odd to cut down your customer base by telling women that they er, can't prefer biological women.

Her has been immensely unfriendly to lesbians for ages now. I did get a bit of a chuckle to see the Twitter account suspended though. Bye!

I never comment really on these topics as I'm not a terf and I've a few very good trans friends so it's not group for me to really have any input.

However this has really pissed me off.
Many years ago I worked with a bloke who's sister was a lesbian and he believed she should have been made to at least try to experience heterosexual sex as to rule out it wasn't for her.
So essentially rape. The absolute giant fucking pleb.
Anyway, I know it's not the same but it's that fucking cheek of expecting a woman to be comfortable with something they aren't. It's absolutely unfair and I'm sorry to anyone experiencing this.

(I will say whilst I'm not a terf, I'm also very much into protecting people from predators which I believe lots of men who are now identify as TW. So I'm not someone who is blinded to problems of self ID etc.
I've currently got wind of something very predatory towards transkids and I'm a bit worried about posting it here because I'm a bad shithouse about being shot in flames atm, but when I'm less arsed I'd love to come back to it and discuss it.)

Don't think it's gone down well. Their insta has a fraction of what likes it would usually get and people say what is going on?

Does that bloke think that all men should experience a bit of bum sex to make sure they're not gay?

Honestly. The arrogance of some men.

And yes, come back and talk. There are no guarantees, but you can always name change if it heats up!

he believed she should have been made to at least try to experience heterosexual sex

'Made'?? Made?!

How? By whom exactly? Will there be a certificate issued? 'It has been approved, by panel, that this woman has sufficiently explored penis to the point of penis people granting permission for them to decide a sexual orientation for themselves that is exclusively towards female only humans? The mind fucking boggles.

Greer really did have it right.

You keep saying you're not a TERF whilst describing beliefs which are totally TERF territory. What do you think TERFS belive that you don't?

I'm a MERF, not a TERF, as someone being trans or not doesn't affect how I see them in regards to feminism.

Lwrenagain sadly that bloke isn't a one-off rapey madman, it's the same thing just dressed up as inclusivity to get past the people who can't think for themselves. It's grim and I'm glad at least someone else sees it.

Never had there been more of a need for mumsnet dating………

@Lwrenagain

Do you believe your trans friends have become the opposite sex?

TERF is used as a slur and I'm sure many TURFs are transphobic but it's not exclusively transphobia. You can believe trans individuals should have protections and rights and be free from discrimination and abuse but hold firm to the belief that that can't come at the cost of other protected groups like women and children

Can't be a marketing ploy as I imagine loss of women will leave. Are they expecting women to fancy someone with a penis who puts on a dress

Good Lord! I followed your instructions and searched "Bryleigh" there and up came the thread like the Kraken rising. What a horror show to read about. I share this picture of the mod from "Her". It will give people here some idea of who he is (also, nightmares).

Not NSFW. But I've spoilered it because it's definitely NSFD (dinnertime).

What's KF?

MERF!

🙌

@OldGardinia Yep, there he is. Stunning and brave.

The New Zealand fruit farming site.

And that's a couple of the less creepy photos.

I was Gavsexual for about six months in 1998. It didn't work out.

Hi, thanks for replying to me!

To answer questions I'm very aware my friends aren't magically biological men or women now. They are trans men and women and my belief is that they deserve to live their lives happily as they wish with respect and tolerance because having seen how much gender dysmorphia has ruined decades of their lives, I just want the best for them. I have to be honest, my TW pals wouldn't dream of encroaching on women's spaces so I've had no first hand experience of a pushy TW which I've read lots about on here. I'd never misgender my friends, they have had hormones, operations, all that invasive shit to live as the person they feel they are.
Whilst I do want everyone given respect and a life free of abuse and I'll stand by that, my absolute main opinion that trumps all other, is children need protection. They are the most vulnerable in society and they have so little rights and I could stand on my soapbox about that until someone pushed me off to shut me up, but nobody, no group, no person, should be given any rights that may cause harm to kids. I obviously care about women's rights or those of the elderly or disabled, but my most passionate feelings are towards kid safety.

My reasoning for not being a terf is the word exclusionary, I want to include as opposed to exclude people regardless of how they identify as a whole but obviously that's not extended to anyone who wants to actively harm others. I'm sure that can have holes picked in and happy to consider my own views.

I've probably not worded it wonderfully but I hope I've been somewhat clear 🙈

And my ex colleague who wanted his lesbian sister to was just a grim human being. He was everything that makes anyone with common sense cringe.
We'd have to stay overnight sometimes in that job and my fave colleague who was a lesbian used to really enjoy farting on his pillow, so small victories I guess?

@Lwrenagain sad news is that you don't get to decide you are not a terf, it's a label ascribed to you by others. Sadder news, it sounds like you are one. You say you would obviously exclude those who want to harm others but I'm afraid with self-id it isn't your place to decide if a male rapist is playing the system or genuine, for example. That would be a terfy opinion.

Jane Doe 👏👏👏

@Lwrenagain I'm afraid you are a radicalised term. The views you describe are full on terftastic. Anyone who does not think men can become women is a terf. What you've said about your trans friend not encroaching on women's spaces is particularly right wing (apparently). The thing is, terfs mostly do think like you. There's very few people who want trans people to be excluded from sex appropriate spaces or discriminated against because they wear clothes traditionally for the opposite sex or choose to have body altering surgery. It is TRA propaganda to suggest that those you describe as terfs do actually feel so anti trans. Please don't fall for it. You are as terf as they come. Terf is not a self ID. It's a statement that you believe in biological reality and sex based attraction.

TERF is just a slur used against people (mainly women) who don't agree that anyone who claims to have a transgender identity should just be allowed to do whatever the hell they want.

Some women have reclaimed the word TERF and use it about themselves. I don't use it unironically because as far as I'm concerned it's inaccurate.

Like a PP said, MERF would be more accurate. Our feminism isn't trans exclusionary, it's male exclusionary. So it includes trans men and female non binary people, but it doesn't include trans women, who are male and have their own equality movement. I don't think there's anything radical about that, to be honest. Feminism is for and about female people. The clue is in the word. People like Emma Watson are not actually feminists of any description.

Anyway, I hate to break it to you, but if you think that male athletes shouldn't be competing in women's sports, or that male rapists shouldn't be housed in women's prisons, or that female rape survivors should be allowed to have some single sex rape crisis support without any males present, most trans activists would say you are a TERF.

Is there a room for an app for just women called MANGETOUT?

Ah well.
I'll live with that then won't I 😂

I'm happy to change and evolve my views, it's not I'm wishy washy but I'm happy to learn.
At no point should any male who's committed a sex crime be put in a female prison, that's just nonsensical.

And female prisoners are so so vulnerable, even if they seem solid af, the majority have been failed throughout their lives. Putting a rapist in with them, absolutely messed up.

A transwoman who's been done for fraud or something non violent or sexual?
Then I'm more open to the idea of her accessing a prison for women.

Tbh I think they need to overhaul prisons anyway and make them safer for everyone and actually have more rehabilitation take place but I'm sure they're going to remain shit.