Lesbian redefined

[Annaissleeping]

I have been happy to be re-educated today on the 'It Gets Better' TikTok account (238.3k followers, 162k views of the video) about what it means to be a lesbian.

One of the women behind Couplagoofs (two autistic women in a relationship) talks about how it's a misconception that lesbian = a woman who loves other women.

No! The definition is 'non-men who are attracted to and love other non-men.'

She warns against the women who gatekeep the identity and says there are in fact a zillion different ways to be a lesbian.

So that's me told and I wanted to spread the gospel further. I'm sure none of us non-men on this board would want to be behind the times.

I am so sickened that so many people swallow this ideology whole 😔

Have they actually defined what a 'non man' is though?

This is what homopiobia looks like, but this time the call is coming from inside the house. Absofuckinglutely tragic

Nope!

But does it matter though? When you're a non-man, you're kind of nothing anyway? (Except, of course, if you're a male non-man, aka a woman, who is then worth something and definitely gets to enter any women spaces they choose)

There were always heterosexual men who were sure lesbians would enjoy sex with them if they'd just give it a shot.

There were always heterosexual men who felt entitled enough to think that lesbians owed them sex as a chance to prove it.

The entitlement of (some) men has therefore never really unsurprised me. I'll never get over the shock of the 'gay rights' movement choosing to support the entitlement of heterosexual men over the (bloody obvious right) of homosexual women to only date / sleep with / have relationships with other homosexual women.

n.b. bisexual people exist it's just that it's homophobic bollocks to regard them as morally superior to homosexual women

...yeah. I'm identifying as straight until all this crap goes away. Have been doing for a while actually in any company I don't know well and feel safe in. It's like the 80s again, but worse.

New Speak at it's very best! It's a if all the dystopian fiction has been jumbled up together. So now we have men and non men and the word woman disappears from the lexicon.

So now we expand on this.

Gay men are non-women who are attracted to and love other non-women. (Except that you couldn't used the term "gay men". Gays? Gay non-women?)

And heterosexual people are non-men who are attracted to and love non-women, and non-women who are attracted to and love non-men.

Consistency is key.

Maybe we could be called noman and nomen, pronounced the same as woman and women (numan and nimmin)?

Thanks for explaining so well @Chersfrozenface And there was I saying newspeak lacked clarity about sex.

The Cotton Ceiling. It's absolutely awful. As PP said, it's the sheer fucking entitlement of men.

n.b. bisexual people exist it's just that it's homophobic bollocks to regard them as morally superior to homosexual women. I think the opposite problem plays a role too - the anti-bisexual bias within LGBTQ2IA2+ communities over the last several decades, which implies that being a lesbian is somehow superior to being a bisexual woman, leads bisexual women in or primarily interested in same sex relationships to "identify" as lesbian. From there, it's easy to say (wholly incorrectly) that lesbians can sometimes be sexually and/or romantically attracted to men -- after all, I am, and so's my girlfriend!!

Unfortunately this plays right in to claims that any lesbian can "overcome her genital preferences" and stop being prissy/racist about fucking men (thanks, Nancy Kelley and Ash Sarkar). Which is, yes, textbook kicking, screaming homophobia. It's like the worst parts of the eighties, but "kind" and "inclusive". 🙄

No! The definition is 'non-men who are attracted to and love other non-men.' Patrick Harvie will feel vindicated.

I have been reliably informed on multiple occasions now by my students that in order to be bisexual you need to have a strong preference for a particular sex and that if you have no specific preference, you are pansexual. When I have questioned this, I have been reliably informed that I am old and the definitions have changed.
To be fair, I can see that they are trying to differentiate between two words that appear to have a very similar (see identical) meaning.

@Malvarrosa yep spot on

I was thinking the other day of a comparison with vegetarianism (my brain is a bit quirky sorry)

some people are vegetarian, some people are vegan, some people eat all meat and fish and there are tons of subtle graduations between them. Saying the word vegan is important meaningful and means this is not a hate filled attack on people who aren't vegan.

people who aren't vegan saying they are vegan, then lecturing vegans on how nice cheese is are not wrong or bad because they personally like cheese, they're in the wrong for the disrespect / discourtesy it shows vegans, and the fact that it makes life much harder to be vegan if you don't have a word to use to explain it.

I am so sorry to hear that. The prejudice and discrimination towards lesbians and gay people breaks my heart. I will always stand with you and against anyone who tries to harm you ❤

I'm a straight white woman (so 2nd place in the evil stakes, right behind straight, white men)

Everyday's a school day on Tik Tok.

My head hurts...

No! The definition is 'non-men who are attracted to and love other non-men.

Non men are women though, so in reality that definition (while stupid) is still correct.
I appreciate that isn't the point though.

Fucking hell, now we're reduced to being 'not a man' ... As if that's the ultimate thing to be????

Well, non-cabbages are attracted to non-cabbages. You're a non-cabbage now.

Well it is true that I am not a cabbage, so therefore a non-cabbage.

Unless you are attracted to cabbages? Then you're a cabbage attracted non-cabbage and you should actually be attracted to the Savoy Cabbage over there and not exclude them from your attraction to only red cabbages...

You're such a cabbage-phobe I can't believe it...

Even worse I'm afraid...I only like cabbage when pickled. Or in a coleslaw.
I'm a total non pickled-phobe.

Mumsnet needs a new name.

'Uterushavers who have utilised said uterus net.com' (catchy!)? 'Non-men and non-binary birthers.net?' Or maybe just 'non-males.net' Except some men give birth right?

Mumsnet is screwed.

What @ZeldaFighter said.

We see them for what they are.

Standing with my lesbian sisters in love and solidarity.