Young adults who identify as asexual feel excluded from the wider LGBTQ community

[IwantToRetire]

From a survey of 3,695 young adults aged 18-25 27% said they “rarely or never” feel a part of the LGBTQ community. Aside from those who said they were questioning their sexual or gender identity, asexual people were most likely to say this.

18% said they “rarely” felt included and 9% said they “never” felt included.

30% of asexual young adults said they “always” feel included and 30% said they “sometimes” feel included.

39% of asexual people of colour said they rarely or never felt part of the LGBT+ community, compared to 24% of white asexual young people.

It’s also estimated that between 0.44-1 percent (295,768 to 672,200) of the UK population identifies as asexual.

The data paints a disappointing picture that suggests a significant portion of young adults identifying as asexual don’t always feel like they’re a part of the LGBTQ community.

“I hope that this research makes clear the need for greater awareness of the lived experiences and realities of asexual people, especially as we can see a wider pattern here of LGBT+ people of colour feeling excluded from our community.”

https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/a-quarter-of-asexual-young-adults-feel-excluded-from-lgbtq-community-430087/

Excluded from the community? You can't be serious?? Are they made to wear a bell around their necks so people can hear them coming and run away? 🙄

Surely only LGB (and straight) are sexual orientations?
Attraction to make, female, or both, no matter what your sex.
Anything else may want to feel part of a community, but let’s not pretend that the TQ+ is about sexual orientation, and it’s for this reason that many LGBs now feel great disconnect from the very community they created.

Asexuality may be a thing, but it’s not a sexual orientation, and no one lost their job or went to prison because they were asexual.

Why tag on to the alphabet soup? They could form their own group surely? Do asexuals suffer discrimination? How would anyone know someone else was asexual unless they told them? What people do or don't do in their private life is private. No one else's business. It's all very playground these days. You're so mean to me 🙄

Maybe it would be good for them to think of other forms of "community" like, maybe, the actual community where they live, or a hobby group, or church, or volunteer organization like a food bank?

Why a bunch of people whose only link seems to be - well, it's hard to say what, these days. But certainly they can differ in terms of things like interests, politics, beliefs about the world, values - maybe not the best place to find friends? The whole "we love everyone, inclusion" love-bomb sounds great but doesn't actually mean any of the people with that label have anything in common.

try and imagine what it is like please

you are a young teen, with a wide friendship group you have grown up close to.

your best friends starts spending their time discussing the opposite sex, but you cant see why

they stop prioritising the fun things you have always done together, and want to start dating - you cant see any reason to do this

they start describing thoughts and feelings that are totally alien to you.

ALL of your friends are suddenly like this, and nobody can understand why you are not.

I have come up with an analogy in the past to try and explain what it is like

Imagine you get up today and spend time with whoever it is you normally spend time with, partner, whoever. They tell you they are choosing a camel to keep in their living room. This makes no sense to you. But they are suddenly obsessed, and all they will do or talk about it the catalogue of camels they have, and the way their home and lives will need to be adapted to keep this camel happy in the living room.

You cant work out what on earth is wrong with them, but you head off for your normal daily activity, work or school, or what ever. You sit down with your colleagues, and they are also discussing where to get a camel from, and how to change their living rooms to keep it. You talk about work during work, but all coffee breaks and idle chat is exclusively about camels

People start acquiring camels and stop spending time on all the things you have done in the past, and devote themselves entirely to the camel in their living room, They cant understand why you dont want one too

Many news stories are about camels, camel welfare, camel diet, camel diseases, and the need for every human to have one in their living room.

Most films and books are about camels, and how everyone needs one, and no one is complete without one.

Most music and songs is about camels

You try very hard to show an interst in camels. People are alwasy introducing you to their camels. You even half heartedly try and rearrange your living room for a possible future camel. Everyone but everyone, knows you dont have a camel, have never had a camel and are not even particularly interested in camels

Your parents start complaining that all their friends kids are at least TRYING to acquire or care for a camel

Your siblings start "gently" suggesting you speak to a doctor about you camel problem

everyone in the entire world is centred on rearranging their homes and lives, acquiring and caring for a camel in their living room

None of it makes any sense to you at all, but you dont know anyone else who isnt camel committed, and you seem to be the only one in the world, and the overall consensus is that the problem is with you

I hope you can try and imagine what it is like to be young, and asexual, and alone, without understanding and recognition

The alphabet circus doesn’t include someone? How very phobic.

The problem is this idea that people need to only be with those like them. It's gone a bit far now to the point that young people struggle to be tolerant. It is actually normal to have friends who don't think the exact same way as you, gay friends, straight friends, asexual friends, vegan friends, tory friends and yourself be a meat eater who is centre left.

And @Nimbostratus100 you really are such a hypocrite. So far you have told everyone how you don't like people coming on to you in one thread and on another how trans people are not a threat. Yes you don't understand men and sex but to be a victim and also so inconsiderate of other women really is something else.

I heard that some tennis players felt excluded from my badminton club 😟

To be honest I am thoroughly bored of hearing about what other people do or don’t want to do sexually in their private lives.

The constant need for attention and validation from other people over your sexual preferences (or not) is wearing.

What the fuck is wrong with people these days?

Sorry, but no, I don't get the camel thing. People's lives include so much more than their sexual orientation, it really isn't the literal "camel in the room" you're describing 🤷🏻‍♀️
Didn't anyone around you work, study, exercise, pursue hobbies, have an interest in music, fashion, etc?
You're so hung up on your lack of "recognition". Why? What form of recognition were you looking for?

@Nimbostratus100 so glad your arm is feeling better 😜.

the camel is just an analogy for relationships, that is all, and particularly as a teenager, you are going to find that it takes up almost all the conversation, planning and prioritising of all your friends in all your free time

I am trying to help other people understand what it is like for young asexuals, where asexuality is not recognised or accepted

So most of your friends are obsessed with camels, a few are obsessed with, let's say, goats, and there is a special group set up so the goat loving pet owners don't feel excluded. You don't like pets at all but somehow not being included in the goat owner group is a terrible thing?

Makes no sense. Camels or goats. Same difference to you, surely, you don't like any pets. Start a group for people who don't like pets

Tbf I imagine this must be pretty hard for teenagers, at that age when practically all many of them think and talk about is who they fancy. Ditto later, at the age when all their friends are settling down, starting families etc. But I don't really see what the LGB etc communities are meant to do about that. As a previous poster pointed out, not collecting stamps isn't a hobby! Presumably there are online asexual groups.

I'm really surprised by this thread. There seems to be a lot of hostility towards asexual people. I've seen it before on MN, but thought this section usually brings more thoughtful conversation.

I do think asexual people don't really belong within the LGB community though. They've been tagged in as 'people we in the mainstream don't really understand', but they don't really fit there either.

In some ways asexual people are the most ostracized community, certainly in terms of representation and understanding.

To do that, the condition of being someone who doesn't want any animal in their living room, needs to be recognised and accepted, firstly by the person themselves, secondly by their friends and family, and thirdly by the wider society,

although without it being recognised and accepted by the wider society, the person and their friends and family wont be able to recognise and accept it, as they wont even know that it exists

This!!!!
Christ it is dull

Thank you for your lovely post!

Yes, there is a lot of hostility, but I am nearly 60 now, and old enough and ugly enough for it to just wash off my back.

But I am prepared to stick my head over the parapet and keep on talking about it, and keep on raising awareness, so that the young asexuals of today have a better chance of a life without the hostility and ignorance

Replace ‘camel’ with the phrase gender ideology/ identity.

Try to imagine what it’s like for pupils who believe in biological fact and seemingly everyone around them is overriding those facts with gender ideology. Including some adults. You have to remember to use different pronouns to what you see or that are completely new and lose your single-sex toilets to a free for all. Some people even seem to believe you can change sex. Children and adults around you become very obsessed with their identities and how their identity is more oppressed. They have special days, colours and flags which are put up around the school to make sure you know who is right. No debate. No critical analysis.

I would have thought asexuality is on the rise from the constant bombardment of sexual stuff people are exposed to on the internet and the hassle in real life. I would rather young girls chose that label than transman or boy.

I hope you can try and imagine what it is like to be young, and asexual, and alone, without understanding and recognition

Surely all children are asexual ffs?

It's a sad draw of affairs when a whole identity has to be created for consent to be upheld.

I'm asexual and I agree with every word she says.

Where is the hostility coming from, exactly? What understanding are you craving, and from whom? You've been told enough times that people in general don't give a toss, but you're not happy with this, you yearn to be "recognised"...
Not happening, nobody cares 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m a weirdo and there are so many things normies are obsessed with that I don’t share and I feel awkward about my lack of interest in. I don’t expect anyone else to understand or give a shit though.

Very small children.

Surely, you know that teens and young people have relationships/sexual feelings/sex etc?