Young adults who identify as asexual feel excluded from the wider LGBTQ community

[IwantToRetire]

From a survey of 3,695 young adults aged 18-25 27% said they “rarely or never” feel a part of the LGBTQ community. Aside from those who said they were questioning their sexual or gender identity, asexual people were most likely to say this.

18% said they “rarely” felt included and 9% said they “never” felt included.

30% of asexual young adults said they “always” feel included and 30% said they “sometimes” feel included.

39% of asexual people of colour said they rarely or never felt part of the LGBT+ community, compared to 24% of white asexual young people.

It’s also estimated that between 0.44-1 percent (295,768 to 672,200) of the UK population identifies as asexual.

The data paints a disappointing picture that suggests a significant portion of young adults identifying as asexual don’t always feel like they’re a part of the LGBTQ community.

“I hope that this research makes clear the need for greater awareness of the lived experiences and realities of asexual people, especially as we can see a wider pattern here of LGBT+ people of colour feeling excluded from our community.”

https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/a-quarter-of-asexual-young-adults-feel-excluded-from-lgbtq-community-430087/

And literally no parent of a teenager or young adult is hassling them to try sex. Nor are siblings suggesting visits to the GP, what utter nonsense.

Intersex is biological. It is not a sexuality or sexual orientation.

I mean, look at Miss Marple. She’s never had to say why she’s single and childless has she. It’s just accepted. Same with Poirot. Same with Sherlock Holmes. Unless someone comes out on screen stating that they’re asexual and explaining what that is, how will we know? It’s like trying to portray someone with no interest in stamp collecting. Unless they state they have no interest in stamp collecting, how will anyone know?

All good shows! Great characters! But none of them are relationship heavy shows are they? There's no show that focuses on relationships that features an asexual character. There are shows that feature straight characters and gay characters where their personal life and struggles are the plot, but not a single character (that I'm aware of, I could be wrong) who is asexual.

What struggles?
Why would anyone watch such naval gazing nonsense in the interests of being entertained is the real question, tbh. Sounds as tedious as fuck.

Err… nearly everyone else is those shows us in relationships. Even captain Hastings got married in the case of poirot. Most of Miss Marple’s friends are married couples. Dr Watson got married. Many of the episodes show relationships.

How do you know miss marble is not asexual? What about Poirot? Like I said, unless it’s explicitly stated, how would anyone know?

I think you're being a little bit disingenuous here.

There are so many shows/films about relationships, where people discuss their relationships, where it's very evident what they're looking for. The idea that it would be impossible to portray asexuality in the same way is just silly.

If you can have someone moaning about how they're struggling to find someone to have sex with, you can have someone moaning about how they're struggling to find someone to not have sex with!

What?? How do you struggle to find someone to not have sex with?? Err…. Wouldn’t you just er…. Not date people? That’s not making sense. In poirot, captain Hastings does discuss his dating woes. Poirot doesn’t jump in and say “actually I’m looking for someone to not be in a relationship with” does he?

Whatever their struggles might be!

Money. Relationships. Family. Work.

You know that the struggles are the same as everyone else?! That's what most drama on TV is about? Why would an asexual persons struggles be anymore tedious than a straight person's? Because there are no sex scenes?

It's posts like these that make me doubt you're genuinely interested in understanding. If you're not then do please let me know and I'll go and do something else!

But as you can tell, I like miss marple, poirot and Sherlock even though there are no sex scenes, so basically asexual representation is in those three shows right?

You understand that asexual people have relationships?

Is that the basic misunderstanding that we're having?

Money. Relationships. Family. Work.
Those struggles are in no way related to their non interest in sexual relationships?
How would signposting that they're asexual contribute to plot development?

Asexual person gets propositioned in Corrie.

"No thanks I'm asexual"

Ok then.

I mean. I can't see where it would go (other than a sexual assault/rape storyline but then them being asexual is not central to that)

The problem is that sex positivity and porn has created a climate where women feel wrong for not having a high sex drive or only wanting it within a committed relationship. Or just not interested (highly likely with oral contraception.)

Hence they've had to create asexuality.

It's not them, it's a pornsick society.

I'm going to take this at face value.

They're not represented one way or the other. It's not about their relationships.

There are many, many, many, many shows that are ABOUT relationships and people seeking them/struggling with them/ending them etc. Asexuality is never represented in any of these shows. In exactly the same way that gay relationships were never represented in these types of shows. Would you have said Sherlock Holmes counts as a gay character because he isn't outwardly straight?

Yes, I do understand that. Platonic ones. I’m not stupid. Please stop patronising me. You asked for shows with characters happy to be single and childless. I provided them. You then changed the goalposts.

I took that as a given

So go on. Without saying “I am asexual” how do you portray asexuality? Lesbian can be portrayed by two girls in a relationship. Gay by two guys ditto. How do you portray a lack of interest in something without stating that character is not interested in that thing? And why would you think Sherlock is gay because he’s single and childless? Surely he’s the asexual representation you’re looking for? He even states romance is detrimental to his work…

Should have said LaPerduta I took that as a given

@NuffSaidSam
From what I understand you're claiming that because you don't understand asexuality/haven't experienced it, it's a nonsense/it doesn't exist/it's a conspiracy? Is that right?

No of course that's not flaming right, and since it is so obviously not what I said, it is hard to imagine that you are arguing in good faith. There are asexual people, obviously. I implied as much when I said that young people need to explore whether and when sex is relevant for them.

Some people don't want sex through huge chunks of their lives. Some people don't want sex, ever, in their lives. This isn't a contested or newly acknowedged truth! It's not something hard to understand, or something alien to my experience. Jesus, I imagine that quite a lot the women on mumsnet (me included) feel very much as if they wish the obligation to have sex would just disappear, for a while or forever.
What is new (and nonsensical) is making this an 'identity' - and on top of that an identity within a movement that is about sex (protecting people from discrimination on the basis o their sexual orientation and activity).

It is an imposition on people: It others them, marginalises them by recasting their lack of interest in something as a requirement to identify themselves precisely in terms of that something.

They 're related in the same way they're related for characters who do have sexual relationships. But presumably you don't have a problem with a character being both gay and having financial problems? It's just two different, unrelated things about the same person. Why would it be different for an asexual person? A person can be both asexual and involved in a power struggle at work or trying to become a parent or seeking a relationship or grieving a parent or literally any other plot line that features straight characters.

No, I asked for shows featuring asexual characters. Openly, outwardly asexual.

Not platonic. Romantic, but not sexual.

Liv in Emmerdale was asexual