long rant ahead:
This reminds me of my peak trans moment when there was a celebration in my area for accomplished girls and my friend’s daughter was a finalist. All the actual girls had extraordinary accomplishments - the typical bio would be “three years ago she came to this country as a refugee not knowing a word of English. Now she’s in all advanced classes, is the captain of the volleyball team, started a tutoring program in her community and began a campaign encouraging girls to play sports” or “she’s played violin with the symphony and has had her compositions played. In her spare time she loves science and her project was selected for the national science fair. After she lost her father to cancer she began a fundraising initiative for medical awareness…”
You know where I’m going with this. The girls had to get up and do a speech/performance demonstration. All the girls showed up beautifully dressed, many in cultural clothing, and performed instruments or read their published writing, or gave a presentation about their non-profit. Then there was a Trans girl. No accomplishments but “being their authentic self” as though the refugee girls and hijabis and black girls didn’t have to walk around in their authentic bodies all day. They came out in heels and a feather boa and a totally inappropriate outfit and strutted around the stage not even dancing. They got a standing ovation and won. It was at that moment, seeing all the girls from difficult backgrounds who had achieved so highly, and seeing how real girls had to be so talented -athletic, academically excellent, extraordinary accomplishments, community minded, articulate and bright - that I saw the sexism.
Dylan’s idea of girlhood is offensive. Most girls I know weren’t having sleepover giggle fests. Girls from poor backgrounds have to work to help support their families. Elder daughters by the age of 9 and 10 are caring for younger siblings and taking on duties around the house. Girls in immigrant and refugee families have to navigate the world for parents who don’t speak English. Girls live crammed into small apartments with generations of their families and don’t have their own room. Girls are abused and beaten at home. Girls are monitored by their families and have to sneak out to meet friends or boys. Girls are studying and working so they can go to a good university and a scholarship is the only way they can afford it. Even the stereotypical wealthy white girls who do have the clothes and the bedroom and the pool are off doing activities and lessons and sports and are struggling with mental health or body issues and stress and pressure like anyone else . None of these girls get a perfect girlhood and no woman who worked through girlhood and took care of siblings is indulged in re-enacting girlhood as a grown adult because they missed out.
Girls who actually dance and cheerlead aren’t skipping awkwardly around their garden they’re working hours a day to perfect difficult skills. They’re all over YouTube being actually talented.