Should IVF be available to lesbians?

[TooBigForMyBoots]

And single women? Or should assisted conception only be for infertile women in heterosexual relationships?

I just can't with this thread. Basically, you can abuse your body, your partner's body, but if you are genetically a woman ina heterosexual relationship you are allowed to bear as many kids as you want, even if the parenting is I'll-thought out (just fucking read the relationships board), no matter, because: Darwinism.

Fuck me, I'm a feminist, and if needs be I will pay for my own iVf, but Jesus, "womb trumps all" isn't a great approach.

I say that as a proud supporter of j.k.Rowling etc. but some of the frivolous "relationships" parenthoods entered into nowadays, and I'm out of line for mentioning type 2 diabetes??? Really??

What is 'genetic heritage,' though? Does it include epigenetic heritage? It becomes fuzzy fast, IMO.

Shelefttheweb
many of these donors are selling their sperm on the internet and coercing women into sleeping with them when they meet even though they originally offer to donate into a cup. Are these men supposed to have parental responsibility? I’m actually saying private donations shouldn’t happen for these reasons, no idea what’s going to pop out of the woods in future years.

As a lesbian woman currently exploring my options some of these comments are extremely upsetting

Being unable to have your own biological child is deeply upsetting and an ongoing grief. But that doesn’t mean everything is acceptable in order to to have one.

No one deserves a baby any more than any other person. In fact no one ‘deserves’ a baby. Life and biology isn’t fair. No one has a right to have a baby.

@blumppump

*Because type 2 diabetes does not have the same causal mechanism as anorexia.
*
Yep, anorexia has a higher mortality rate. Guess which gets more government funding though??

I think these stories help explain my discomfort with donor assisted conception and why any trade of eggs/sperm is fraught with the risk of exploitation, and problems for the child down the track.

Being able to buy nice clean anonymous eggs/sperm from a fertility clinic is no guarantee they weren't sourced through coercion or exploitation. It just allows the recipient to distance themselves from it so they can focus on their own needs and wants without guilt.

Exactly

@Eyerollcentral

Agreed, but do I not deserve a baby as much as the next person deserves a gastric band??

Honest question.

I am veering more towards saying no ‘gamete donation’ should happen. But I am not sure how dangerous informal ‘sperm donation’ could be totally prevented.

Absolutely not! You don’t ‘deserve’ another human being. No one does.

I find this a strange reply. I'm a lesbian woman and I don't know that I agree that being unable to have your own biological child is deeply upsetting, or an ongoing grief. I have a daughter who is not biologically mine, and she is an enormous source of joy. I'm not sure lesbians discussing access to fertility treatment are as hung up on biology as you might think?

Do you know something we don't about fertility clinics in the UK? Or is your comment about clinics outside the UK?

EndlessTea, I have no idea what you have read, but absolutely no one on this thread has said that anyone should have the right to access another person's womb, eggs or sperm.

And yes, what I posted was equality between gay men and straight men, because that's what equality is about.

You aren’t comparing like with like. Someone getting a gastric band isn’t preventing you from having nhs fertility treatment, you simply don’t mean the criteria. IVF has a very low rate of success. In terms of health outcomes yes gastric bands probably do have a better chance of achieving the desired outcome and so probably are a better investment.

There's no right to have a baby. It's very sad and heartbreaking for those who want a baby but can't have one. But I'm not sure that assisted conception is the answer. It's ethically complex, to say the least.

Do you know for sure that all the eggs and sperm you can access from clinics in the UK was freely and altruistically donated and the person donating it has no expectations or regrets?

Do you care?

Obviously I meant for those who want one.

Someone upthread was speaking about how women can be coerced into donating eggs in the UK by having the cost of their treatment reduced.

Yes it’s a deeply concerning practice and I cannot see how it complies with ethical guidelines.

@Shelefttheweb yet I've fought and fought for the health of my body, at my own/family's expense. I've tried to take care of myself. Yet I'm worth more than someone abusing their body, in whatever way?

Full disclosure: I actually believe IVf should be privately funded, but at the same time as gastric bands/smoking cessation etc.

If I want a baby, I should have to fund the process, as I abused my body through starvation for years.

Why don't others have this view though? It should either be all or nothing, right.

I don't expect help, but why do others with à similar background/psychology do??

Again, honest, curious question. Private IVF is driving me to suicide, I really want to understand others' views.

Ninja I hope you are getting the mental health support you need

Of course I care, and yes, I'm pretty sure it is! UK clinics have very strict rules. I know - we went through the whole process.

I don’t mean to be patronising but I don’t think being on this thread is good for you. I think if you feel as you have described you need to discuss that with your GP.

No-one has a "right" to a baby. I think there is a difference in treating infertility to those in same sex relationships because people with infertility have a medical condition which means they cannot conceive naturally when they would under normal circumstances be able to conceive. However same sex couples are unable to conceive naturally.