I’m early 30s.
The issue is the so-called ‘wonderful life of equality and choice’ we are supposed to have through working, has actually lead to women doing it all, rather than ‘having it all’, and they’re burnt out. Probably watching programs like Call the Midwife and thinking how easy/simple life was back then (I know it wasn’t).
The long and short of it is that working full time and having children is the worst of both worlds. Very few mums who do this appear happy, they’re stressed and tired and feel like they’re doing a crappy job all round. And the money doesn’t even go as far as it did, so fewer ‘nice things’ to incentivise it. It’s all about paying the mortgage and childcare. ‘So make the man do 50/50!’ You say. Mine does - he possibly does a bit more than me - and we’re still a bit tired and low level stressed a lot of the time. Things get done but not to the standard I would like and that would bring me life satisfaction.
Spending your life doing things you don’t want to do doesn’t seem worth it simply as ‘insurance’.
I would also hazard a guess that the current school of feminist thought - that settling down ‘young’ (20s) is for suckers, that if you did things the right way you’d be partying and living your best feminist life until at least 30 before considering all that dull settly stuff - is actually making women quite unhappy. We can say it’s unfair all we want, but men don’t have a biological clock, they can do this then simply select a slightly younger woman to have the family he wants, as long as he’s of a good enough standard to attract one. So as a single 30 something woman what’s left of the single men are either unappealing or in no rush to get married and have kids, safe in the knowledge they can find a woman 7 or 8 years younger when they want to.
We’ve kind of played into men’s hands and also the government’s thanks to some knee jerk feminism in the 80s and 90s, and I think younger woman are disillusioned with it.