Trans Widows are the only mothers of our children.

[TinselAngel]

I don't want this claim by @bathhy to get lost in a thread that will no doubt go along the usual lines.

"As a trans woman mother who uses Mumsnet, I would never recommend coming here."

Trans women can never be the mother of any child. We women, the trans widows who are usually your exes, who give birth to those children are their mother and always will be.

If you adopt a child, you can be the child's parent, but as a male you are not the child's mother.

Trans widows say no to having our status and legal responsibility as mother taken from us.

Women here must not allow forced teaming from men who wish to appropriate our status as the mothers of our children.

Every woman here should consider how they would feel if the father of their child after having taken so much from them already, then demanded to be called "Mum."

@Bathhy I appreciate that you've been willing to indulge our curiosity a little, obviously you were under no obligation to do that. So, thank you. I think very few of the posters on these boards, if any, think that 'trans women' are always up to something sinister. I mean, who has the time!

I cannot imagine the realisation of a child who even with the best will in the world, understands that they have been lied to. Whether it starts early or it is in adulthood. It will come.

Trust will be forever damaged by a ‘lie’ that a ‘mother’ can be male.

Yeah, but one of them didn’t birth the baby.

A man can never birth a baby so 🤷‍♀️

According to this, from the UK government, adoptive parents are not listed as 'mother' or 'father' on adoption certificates, they are simply referred to as 'parent(s)'.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/800942/Note_for_parents_Mar_2019__4_.pdf

So you are legally recognised as your son's parent, but not as his mother.

How interesting.

@MadamAndTheAnts back to Twitter please - byeee!

im fine here thanks

that makes complete sense if you assume that 'mother' in the context of birth certificates has a very specific meaning

But neither of them are male, who definitely cannot have given birth.

They have more right to be called a mother, from where I'm sitting.

But if you’re going to accept a lesbian who hasn’t birthed a baby can be called “mother”, and I assume you wouldn’t be so rude as to call a transwoman by their deadname, then surely the transwoman can also called the mother”.

No. Only females are mothers.

Cos sex not gender.

Children need to learn and understand sex from birth.

Gosh that is very interesting @LangClegsInSpace

No, because a trans woman can never be a mother, because they are a man. Rudeness doesn’t come in to it.

Here's a link on another thread to 'Della's Law' which will be debated in parliament later this week to prevent sex offenders from changing their name: Della's Law - ask your MP to support banning sex offenders from changing their name UK www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4748640-dellas-law-ask-your-mp-to-support-banning-sex-offenders-from-changing-their-name-uk?msgid=-4748640#-4748640

There's no reason why MTF trans people can't be adoptive fathers. Mother is a term for a biologically female person in a parenting role.

Do you deadname?

Why is that relevant?

maybe some bloke's changed his name to 'mother'?

at this point I just dunno

What’s that got to do with men not being able to be mothers? I have always treated trans people with respect and call them by whatever name they wish to be called, as I do with anyone I meet. Doesn’t mean I think they can change sex, because they can’t.

@LangClegsInSpace your link "matches" the case I was thinking of where the FtM wanted to become the father on the birth certificate, in that you're not allowed to change a record to say that someone else is the mother or the father, other than those who are.

Day to day terminology used at home isn't what's on the record.

It's not relevant at all but unfortunately he can't see that.

Just bumping this again

Only female people can be mothers. Lesbians are female ' transwomen are not.

I don't follow the rest of your logic, makes zero sense. Motherhood is very female ; indeed, patriarchal societies have told women specifically we should aspire to it. Now you want it without all the nonsense that comes with it?

Listen here. Prior to 2018, when I birthed my daughter and it was PAINFUL, I didn't really regard myself as ''feminist'' - I was cool, not like eventually asking other women. But what I found was my employer didn't want to know - I had to keep asking when I was needed back at work - they told me they would let me know - they didn't. I got an angry call eventually asking where I was.

After that, I kept applying for further training and promotion. Never got them as was presumed I wouldn't want to spend time away from my baby.

The motherhood penalty has never applied to males. You've taken on zero risk for the title ; you frankly don't deserve it.