the Sex topic on MN

[beastlyslumber]

I couldn't see a thread in FWR, though there are plenty in Site Stuff and AIBU. I thought it would be good to hear what women here think, especially about the safeguarding fails. MN hosting discussion of people graphically describing CSA and a 'sex chat' for people to find hook ups. Justine's response was to say that maybe they underestimated the negative impact, but they're going to carry on anyway. Posters who've reported threads and comments have been ignored.

I don't see how MN can keep going as a parenting site if it is failing on very basic safeguarding. Someone on another thread pointed out that sex forums at least have a bare minimum of safeguards, such as age verification, a list of banned topics, and active moderation (rather than the after-the-fact reports and deletions MN usually do.)

There are also concerns that it changes the nature of the people coming to post on MN and generally makes women less able to access the help and advice they need. I've noticed for a while that there's more victim blaming and misogyny in the relationships topic - apparently MN changed the posting rules last year so that new users only have to wait 7 days to post in the sex topic, where it was previously 90. So it's possible that the change there is related to that.

Sorry for the long OP! Just really wondering what women here think.

Oh that's a shame. I haven't been on the sex topic for a while, but then it was much like the other topics: a place women could discuss issues and get advice/support from other women, with a small percentage of trolls and perves trying to get their feet in. The 90 days rule was a good idea
It sounds like it's changed quite a bit.
Having Ann Summers sponsor it/get involved was just asking for randos to turn up in their droves.
The idea of a hookup thread is bizarre. Why?! Anyone who genuinely wants a hookup would go on Tinder or FabSwingers or any of the other places that are designed for no strings sex.
But Mumsnet? Where a poster could be anywhere in the UK? With no profile pictures or similar?
That makes no sense. You'd have better luck on Facebook. 🥴

They would have done better to split the sex board, if that's the way they wanted to go. As it is now its leaking on to the rest of the site.

I've noticed some quite misogynistic replies on eg relationships posts, leaping on very quicklywith a kind of Andrew Tate Lite perspective. Upsetting tbh.

I also reported a hookup thread in my innocence, thinking it must have just gone undetected - saying there were plenty of other places people could go if they wanted that kind of thing surely it didn't belong on Mumsnet, but got a very unsatisfactory reply saying something like well its a service some our users want so ....

But absolutely agree, if word vets out then god knows what sort of users will be all over Mumsnet. Itmught e a business, but currently(or until recently for the more jaundiced among us) it is also a community of shared pro-woman values. I have always assumed that Mumsnet moderation must havebeen part of maintaining that.Something that looks as though it is changing?

. But maybe it's just got too big. Maybe all social media go downhill afterthe first 15 years or so...

In MNHQ realised they could make more money from horny men than chatty women, where do you think the site would go ? And would it look much different to where it's pointing now ?

@SerendipityJane 😭

Welcome to Milfnet 🤢

Oh god, so that's why the sex topic has been so active lately 🤢

I'm frankly astonished that MNHQ couldn't have foreseen that it would be a magnet for misogynistic pervs with a fetish for mothers (and a hot hunger to put women in their "proper place").

Money talks. Dirty talk.

Femvox is completely legit, it’s been set up by disillusioned MNers

They're not just populating the sex board. This site is infested with incels.

There are seedy hook-up sites everywhere. So what do they do? They make a beeline for the parenting site.

Some men simply can't bear women talking, or asserting a modicum of independence without them. No wonder so many of them hate lesbians so much.

What if there was a MN Sex Forum which wasn't just available to all members.

A criteria to be met.
It's just that there could be issues within a couple that are not suitable to be posted on the other forums that might help if shared.

Well as long as it doesn't hurt revenue, go for it.

There is no way on gods green earth that i would go on the current sex board to talk about lack of libido or any issues with sex really

id try and pick an appropriate board like general health or menapause or possibly here or chat (obviously depending on the issue)

it is probably one of the few topics on mumsnet that i would agree (the Thelnebriati has already mentioned it) to the idea of two separate boards

MNHQ seemed really keen to split feminism into two….the sex topic woukd massively benefit from it, unlike FWR

and i would also agree that although with a split board a sex chat thread might be ‘nice’ for some posters (can’t think of another way of phrasing that) I don’t see there is any need for a ‘hook up’ section

Whoops

especially one with none of the usual safeguards

Someone suggested a women's sexual health topic.

That seems like a good idea.

The sex topic as it stands is just a bit sad and grim. At least they've finally taken down the hook up thread.

Someone suggested a women's sexual health topic

yeah…thats what i was thinking, but just with a lot less babbling…and words 🤔

Is this needed - could we not use the existing women's health topic?

I don’t know plait i dont have a plan 🙂

just think its good to have a place where women can talk about sexual health….dont know if it would get lost a bit in general

dunno…just throwing out vague unsubstantiated ideas, as usual

Im just throwing out…..

I've always avoided the sex forum because amongst the genuine people needing help you are inevitably going to get a lot of dross.

To be honest the only thing that is keeping me here is this forum. I don't really use social media and I find mn invaluable as a source to keep me connected with what is happening.

I almost had a post and be damned moment on the numerous Claire threads. For a fleeting second I thought a post to say shat I really thought and a subsequent troll hunting ban would suit me nicely. I pulled back from burning my boats but it was a close thing.

Like other people I've noticed more blatant misogyny on the forums. More and more find myself thinking "what has the op done to deserve that?"

I have found the Sex Board to be welcoming and inclusive, light hearted when appropriate but also supportive to posters who have been going through tough personal situations (E. g a sexless marriage). Trolls tend to be spotted quickly and reported.

Oh great, you're here... can't post anywhere about the sex topic without the same posters turning up to say how great it is.

I'm just concerned about safeguarding. I think it's weird that people want to do sex chat on a parenting website but as long as you're not making others vulnerable, I don't care what you do.

Such a warm welcome!

This is the women's rights board. You're welcome here if you want to talk about defending women and childrens rights. Doubt anyone here wants to hear about your titillating experiences of sex chat.

I know where I am thank you! Some people had said that they wouldn’t consider going to the Sex Forum and explained their reasons, I just wanted to share my experience so individuals could make a a balanced opinion.

Why do you need to persuade people who aren't interested to go over there? God I'm so sick of how pushy and demanding you and your sex chat friends are. Just keep it to yourselves.