Just resigned due to abusive male ‘customer’. I feel so sad and humiliated.

[TheEmperorIsNaked]

Yesterday I tried to serve a man who, I think, had decided to act like a cunt before he entered the store. I did my best not to rise to it and tried to remain professional in the presence of what I can only describe as utter contempt from him. He called me names and threw paper at me and goaded me to call the police.

I called for security but they didn’t come. I have since been advised that they are employed to protect stock and not staff 😡.

I should have left my desk but I stupidly decided to follow previous instructions to never leave the desk unmanned. When he left he said, menacingly “You better not report me”.

After he’d gone and a colleague came to relieve me I burst into tears … In front of customers! I think the humiliation of that is what hurts the most. I then had to walk through the shop like that. I don’t know who saw me but I feel so ashamed; like I disgraced myself in public.

I left a note on my bosses desk explaining that I was leaving early. We spoke today and I told her that my husband would be delivering my resignation letter tomorrow and that I would not be able to work my notice period. She was very kind and offered solutions but I just can’t face going back in there. I’m terrified that this man will come back in again, but even if he doesn’t, some other nasty misogynist probably will.

I feel absolutely defeated.

You were instructed not to leave your desk unmanned. But when you were abused and felt at risk, security didn't come to your aid. Surely you should be taking this up with the firm, whether yourself or preferably via your union rather than walking away with nothing? It sounds absolutely awful OP.

Have you actually ever worked in the industry or do you just get a thrill out of writing goady nonsense online. I used to work in hospitality and unless "once in a blue moon" has had some recent semantical shift I've slept through, I think you'll find it can be daily.

The manager was irresponsible because you expect their to be procedures in place to protect staff. They might not be flawless, but they should exist.

I see, OP. I was just asking in case you could find a way to get them to get security to look after you instead of the goods.

Is there any chance you might get a payout for the experience you've had? Given retail, I know it's not likely. I can't believe what employers can get away with.

Your manager is not doing her job.

This man is targeting you and you definitely report him for that reason. And you should explain this in writing to your manager who is, to judge from her total non response, in some trouble.

If you are not being properly protected at work to the point you have to resign for safety reasons then presumably it’s an idea to look at acas we sure. It could be constructive dismissal. If you leave a job you won’t be able to claim benefits. It would be good if you could find a way through this. You deserve so much better.

By saying the security are for stock and not staff safety.

Kindness does not equal responsibility! A manager has a duty of care towards staff that is not met with ‘kindness’!

This ^

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'd certainly speak to the manager and explain how unsupported you feel. If you feel that way I'm sure others do too and it needs to be addressed.
I spend a lot of my time dealing with calls from the public. I get shouted at, threatened and called vile names almost daily. I'd say I've got a very thick skin but there are just some people who manage to get under my skin sometimes. I'll never let the arseholes have the pleasure of thinking they have upset me though and those customers who are genuinely grateful for my help keep me doing the job I do.

Wondering if you work for JL Op? I witnessed a very difficult customer in one of their stores yesterday, being very demanding and trying to grind the assistant/ JL partner down. I spoke with another assistant but she seemed unfazed as if this was "normal". She also appeared more interested in directing my purchase to another till than supporting the other staff member.....

Oh op how horrendous for you.
awful and I agree with you, it’s not to be “expected “ in any job.

Final nail in my long NHS nursing career was being seriously assaulted one too many times. The last time was for me, the last time.
I resigned like you. No one goes to work to be abused.

All the very best with your next move.

First of all, I'd like to ask OP if she is OK? I, too, ended up resigning from a customer service job (working from home) because of abusive calls from customers, I could easily cope with the odd few, but following a particularly difficult period where customers deliveries were being cancelled by some glitch in the system leading up to Christmas one year the abuse was all day long. Unfortunately, 9 years on its still left me with a phobia of speaking on the phone.

We don’t know if the manager said that.

Yes I have. I worked retail from a sales associate up to shop manager. I also worked in restaurants starting as a table busser & dishwasher, then waitress, then hostess, then night manager. I did all this while at University.

It’s not goady nonsense at all, it’s utter idiocy to work in that sector and expect there never ever to be an abusive customer ever. You’re going to have one that gets under your skin once in a blue moon and make you want to quit your job.

Wherever this messaging is coming from, line manager or above, it’s not acceptable.

I don’t disagree. I just disagree with the whole bad man made me cry so I’m going to make myself unemployed and destitute.

No one is saying that goady/abusive customers aren’t a thing, we are saying that the response from the management/lack of protective policy is unacceptable.

it’s utter idiocy to work in that sector and expect there never ever to be an abusive customer ever.

Did you really, genuinely, get this from what OP has said? That she never expected there to be a single abusive customer?

The response as far as we know is that “solutions were offered”. This would imply things that would fix the problems, after all that is what a solution is. The OP isn’t giving her manager a chance to implement any solutions at all.

Are you a member of a union? Usdaw can be good at looking after their members in cases like this and may be able to help

I just disagree with the whole bad man made me cry so I’m going to make myself unemployed and destitute.

Again. You think OP is scared of crying, rather than fearful for her safety because of the lack of security?

Yes. She sounds very new because no one who’d been in retail for a few months would feel they were humiliated by there being an abusive customer. OP is implying she can’t face her colleagues like it is her fault the customer was abusive. This isn’t how a seasoned retail worker thinks.

If she’s that fearful, as I say, it will be tough getting another job in retail if a shouty customer tossing a bit of paper has her terrified.

Ok: OP, is it correct that you started working in retail with the expectation that you would never encounter a single abusive customer, or is onna factually incorrect to claim that and therefore needs to apologise for stating that you held an "idiotic" belief?

So long as you apologise for being factually incorrect by claiming I said OP had an “idiotic” belief when I said no such thing.

It is so awful that most of the replies I’ve had include personal accounts of abuse in the work place. The (2) posters that haven’t grasped how frightening and degrading this is are possibly confused about how abuse differs from other ‘difficult’ behaviour from customers. I serve hundreds of people a day, some are rude, impatient, unreasonable etc. It’s not nice but it IS part of any role that is public facing and it’s not something I dwell on. Verbal abuse, physical assault and threats, when you’re alone, in a shit uniform with your name displayed, trying to remain calm and you’re not permitted to retaliate or even tell someone to leave you alone, are on a completely different level.

I don’t blame my manager for what happened. She’s just 2 grades ahead of me in a massive corporation. She was kind to me today and I got some comfort from that. Her solutions don’t stop horrible bastards coming in the store with the express intention of bullying women. There is no solution to that. And besides, it’s happened now. Just because it was yesterday doesn’t mean it’s over for me. I sobbed my way through our conversation today and I won’t feel better tomorrow. Perhaps I should just get a grip, but how? Where do I get one? Suggestions that I’m too timid for retail are not particularly helpful either. It’s not as if I left a lucrative career in business or something to live the dream as a cashier. I will probably apply for a role in a care home. I will have to do something.

Thanks for the suggestion’s that I could take it further with my employer. I don’t have it in me at the moment but I understand why I should.

Oh, and no not JL. I actually thought they would be one of the better retail giants.