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Original poster

An Oklahoma Judge Just Transferred a Lesbian Mom’s Parental Rights to Her Son’s Sperm Donor

58 replies

IwantToRetire · 16/02/2023 17:54

Kris Williams is a lesbian, and that means she won’t be seeing her son anytime soon. That is the official ruling of an Oklahoma court. On Monday, Oklahoma County District Judge Lynne McGuire ruled that Williams had failed to adopt her son and had forfeited her parenting rights to his sperm donor.

Advocates say Williams’ case may test the bounds of equal marriage laws in Oklahoma and beyond. According to Williams, she and her ex-partner Rebekah Wilson planned to have their son and found sperm donor Harlan Vaughn on a paternity website together. The two married while Wilson was pregnant.

www.them.us/story/oklahoma-judge-parental-rights-lgbtq-same-sex-marriage

OP posts:
Anactor · 17/02/2023 19:01

DarkDayforMN · 16/02/2023 19:10

But she didn't adopt him? She didn't do whatever she needed to do to be legally his parent. So now she's not

Sure - change the phrasing to “non-related adult” and my point becomes much stronger! I think her argument is that were she male (and not the biological father) she wouldn’t have had to adopt to retain parental rights. I’ve no idea if that’s true - if it is then it seems unfair, but edge case unfairness is not a strong argument for changing the law.

In England and Wales you’d need to go through a formal agreement of parental responsibility before a step-parent could have parental rights. Or adopt the stepchild

It sounds very like this judge has decided to treat the non-biological parent as a step-parent. She chose not to adopt, so she has no parental rights - exactly the same as if she were a man married to the biological mother.

AliasGrace47 · 02/08/2025 12:12

EndlessTea · 17/02/2023 14:50

I find it really unpleasant to refer to the biological father as the ‘sperm donor’.

You have biological parents and adoptive parents. Calling parents ‘donors’ sanitises the betrayal of children. ‘Egg donors’ and ‘sperm donors’ are essentially parents who relinquish all responsibility for raising their children made in this way, but in my opinion, they still have a moral responsibility to the child.

Admittedly, now that women can be implanted with another woman’s egg, means that a child can have two biological mothers - the biological birth mother and the genetic biological mother, which complicates things.

But the child has the right to know and have relationships with their biological parents (unless the father is a rapist).

The only reason non- biological ‘fathers’ ever get onto birth certificates is because the woman is the one who knows who the father is and prior to dna testing, you couldn’t prove who he was. Since women can become pregnant through rape, I believe that it should remain the mother, the woman who gave birth, to determine who gets to be put on the birth certificate as father.

The wording in the title also cheapens the value of motherhood, by referring to a woman who has no biological relationship or even adoptive relationship as the ‘mom’.

The child and their rights is what is important.

Interesting choice of words there- 'even adoptive relationship' . Do you see an adoptive mother (whether via a lesbian partner or otherwise) as cheapening the word 'mom'?

AliasGrace47 · 02/08/2025 12:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AliasGrace47 · 02/08/2025 20:13

Sorry, I posted twice

AliasGrace47 · 02/08/2025 20:15

@EndlessTea , out of interest, if a woman and man decide to use a sperm donor, and then split up soon after birth, do you think the woman's husband should have parental rights, if he's not the biological father and hadn't spent time raising the child?

AmateurNoun · 02/08/2025 20:27

🧟‍♀️ Zombie thread

AliasGrace47 · 03/08/2025 18:33

MaireadMcSweeney · 16/02/2023 18:52

But she didn't adopt him? She didn't do whatever she needed to do to be legally his parent. So now she's not.

Show quote history

I've seen some arguments that poorer lesbian couples are frustrated with the high financial cost of getting an adoption certificate. This couple seem well-off though.

quixote9 · 03/08/2025 20:05

For my sins, I lived in that state for a shortish while. There's a reason I've called it The Dreadful Flat Place ever since.

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