Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

That sounds very much like the teacher is using 'girl' as an insult - not fast enough, must be a (pathetic, inferior) girl.

Yep, that's the feeling my friend and her son are getting.

I've given her some references, and she is going to make a formal complaint.

@Vebrithien have you seen this in the Times ( posted on the 100,000 signatures -what next thread) by ResisterRex?

This will explain a lot to other parents.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/4534821c-bf89-11ed-b52d-512231a0c9aa?shareToken=a2be6368ec3ec1a7a1e413545f54b9d9

Apparently that article was only for the Scottish version.

Worried a teacher assumes someone with long hair is a girl. Appalling stereotyping. Also, really rude, nasty etc. and demeaning to say 'you girl' to anyone.

The coven are currently writing a letter to the school, asking to look at their resources.

Looking good so far.

Dear Headteacher,

A few of us parents from the school community are emailing you to ask for the opportunity to know more about the teaching plan for this next coming year with regards to RSE, including resources and books used. It would be great to have the opportunity to talk through the thinking behind the recent push for LGBQT material/ inclusion being taught in the lessons and assemblies and how this message is being communicated to our children at varying ages.

I am sure you are aware that at the moment there has been an urgent call for the current RSHE statutory guidance to be reviewed by the Government. It has become apparent that there are a number of situations being highlighted across various primary and secondary schools where the teaching of this material has been inappropriate for the ages of the children taught. This has raised concerns for a few of us which we want to talk through with you as a school team so we can better understand where you are planning on heading with this material and also so we can have open dialogue around this topic.

We wondered if it was possible to arrange for a few mornings in the coming weeks where parents could come in to view the schools RSE material and proposed learning journey and ask questions that we may have to the relevant members of staff. It would be great if this was made open to parents across the school so those who have questions or concerns have the opportunity to talk them through.

We look forward to hearing from you with guidance on how to move forward with this.

Kind regards,

(not mine, working draft from another parent).

Go Vebrithien! Excellent work.

Vebrithien brilliant.

Polite and respectful though it is, there is a definite feeling of not being afraid to confront the issue head on.

And what with all this currently publicity around inappropriate RSE, they have no leg to stand on.

Frankly, they should be bloody grateful that you have spotted the problem, and are helping them to dodge a massive bullet.

I wish you all success with that, Team Veb.

Well done, that letter is clear but polite.

Thanks, it was a team effort. We agreed the main points, someone took notes, a third person write the draft, and we made a few suggestions.

Glad you think it sounds okay.

This is all new territory, but at least I'm not walking in alone again!

Without going into detail I just wanted to say thanks for this thread - the info in it and some of the wording helped me do a small brave thing at my workplace and live to tell the tale!

Well done @amaretti1999 !!!

A brave action is just that, no matter of the size.

These small steps are the drip dripping of water, wearing down the dam. Eventually, enough will be worn away to start a flood.

I could not have done this without the wonderful support of the posters here.

Courage calls to courage!

Thank you @Vebrithien 😊

Well, we've sent the message!

It came from 7 parents, and was sent to the Head, and cc'd in the DepHead, the head of KS1 and the RSE lead teacher.

It was agreed that it wouldn't come from me, although I am a signatory, but was better if it showed that there were other parents who were concerned and interested.

Feel both elated and sick.

At some point, I am going to need to sit DH down, and properly tell him my concerns. Currently, he rolls his eyes when he hears me talking about anything feministy.

But, I think I need to go down the route of safeguarding our DD. She is the one who this will impact most.

At some point, I am going to need to sit DH down, and properly tell him my concerns. Currently, he rolls his eyes when he hears me talking about anything feministy.

I sincerely hope that you can make him understand your point. It's not difficult to comprehend.

But, I think I need to go down the route of safeguarding our DD. She is the one who this will impact most.

Yes and if you can get your husband to appreciate that she's in potential danger, your battle will be won.

Trouble is, he's still at the 'be kind' stage, and works with a transwoman who has recently transitioned (within the last year).

And is a Guardian reader.

It's finding a way to get my concerns across, without him instantly thinking I'm a bigot on a rant.

It's been the elephant in the room for about a year now.

Barbie Kardashian's all over Twitter again today, maybe that could peak your fella.

Good work on carrying on with this and getting other parents involved.

Vebrithien · Today 14:55

And is a Guardian reader.

I still read it, but don't but it nowadays. It doesn't mean I've had my brains extracted.

I began as "Aah, poor things, how hard must it be to live with that, thinking you were born in the wrong body. I won't make life any harder for them, even though I know that they're not actual women."

to

"Rachel McKinnon? You what? Eh - Terfisaslur? Karen White? Who the fuck are these lunatics? Why are people agreeing to this insane ideology?"

That happened fairly rapidly.

As your focus for the conversation is schools and your daughter's safety, the school toilet assault reported this week might be a good way in.

Of course it's mainly been reported in 'bad' media, so the local paper may be the best source. www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/coventry-schoolgirl-taken-hospital-after-26418069

And while I was looking for that, I also found this more general piece in the Independent. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/unisex-toilets-period-shaming-sexual-harassment-schools-girls-womens-voices-wales-a8784226.html

Bloody hell that Coventry school need to do better, and they are breaching the law.

OP

I've turned some of the 'be kind' Stonewall trained with:

We know abusers will abuse, they will train as teachers or priests or even marry and have children to abuse children.

This is why schools these days have lots of windows into class rooms, offices that you can see in to.

Most teachers are not abusers but we have to be treated as potential abusers for the safety of the children and ourselves.

Eg I'm disabled, most schools have lifts, I can use the lift alone, I can use the lift with a group of students, I can use the lift with other staff members, I cannot use the lift with one student.

Even though the lift has CCTV.

We've all been invited into the school, to look at their RSE policy, overview, resources, books, how the content it taught, and to discuss suggestions about how it is taught moving forward.

Annoyingly, they have suggested a day that I work, but it looks like we will suggest that they day is changed, so that most of us can make it.

So, lovely to not be met with dismissal straight away.