Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Don't lose heart @Vebrithien. They've already conceded the posters and taken them down. I like the charitable suggestion that you assume this was in error. After taking them down they'd have to come back a long way to justify why they are back up.

It does sound like something bigger is at play here, the threats are to try and reclaim control. Could it be an option for every parent issue to be raised as a complaint and force them lol through proper channels that will require formal escalation? Not suggesting it's right or you should stop talking, but I imagine it would backfire if everyone did this with the current dissatisfaction and concerns.

Keep your very reasonable, respectability and factual approach. You're doing an amazing thing here.

Vebrithien · Yesterday 17:13
The utter, UTTER shits.

Despite an email from the DepHead last Monday, stating that all 4 posters had been taken down, I've seen one still up today, as I collected DD from school

Typical smile-with-crinkly-eyes, tick box, then ignore and take no action. Passive aggressive.

Do you think you feel you and any of the other mothers who agree could bear to write and ask why, seeing as they said they’d take them down?

Vebrithien I am so annoyed on your behalf. The (individual or group of staff at the) school is so completely out of order - trying to dictate who you talk to about what, threatening you and being completely disingenuous about taking the posters down (in the speed of the response as a minimum)
I hope you have the strength to keep going, and you now have a supportive group of parents who can help you 💐🍫💐

I am sorry to have stepped away from this thread for a few days. It's all been a bit much.

I've also been verbally abused and physically threatened by a student of mine, in school (not related to this), which has also taken up a lot of my emotional energy. Have been living vicariously through the petition thread.

We messaged the school. Apparently, they were waiting for stickers, to change the wording.

I have seen the posters for myself today. The word 'gender' has been covered with a green sticker and the words 'sex equality'.

A friend has also said that their children reported back that the protected characteristic of sex was mentioned in an assembly about the Equality Act and the 5 British values.

Which is good, as they had Ofsted in the Junior school this week! As my DD is in the Infants, I could not fill in the parental survey, however the recent problems were mentioned by friends with older children.

We have a meeting of concerned parents tomorrow morning. To plan our way forward.

@Vebrithien sorry you have had such a tough time at work.

Which is good, as they had Ofsted in the Junior school this week!

Hmm, I wonder if the two things are connected?

Couldn't possibly comment.

Oh look! Shiny things!

😃

I am very sorry you have been abused by one of your students. How very upsetting that must be. What a betrayal too 💐💐 💐

You may not realise it, but your spirit of perseverance about the No Outsiders has also been an inspiration for keeping going with the petition.

I wonder if that awful student wants your attention because he/she respects you so much? Not that that is any help.

That is very good news about the sticker. ‘Sex Equality’ cancels the chance of sniggering over ‘sex’ by itself I suppose.

The school has a lot to thank you for given the inspection plus the news over awful PSHE in schools this week: they’ll get points for putting it right (or so one would hope).

Sadly 'respect' for a teacher is not usually the reason for abuse, more likely resentment over school discipline, etc. Pretty horrible thing to happen. But the work on getting this school to remove 'gender' and replace it with 'sex equality' is brilliant.

Thank you. You are all very kind (in the nice sense, not the 'BE KIND!" sense).

Student is a 16 yo boy, both taller and wider than I am (which is impressive, I am chunky by nature). He was shouting at me, called me a stupid woman, threatened me, then tried to physically stop me leaving the room.

Also, a colleague was attacked by another male student today. She is apparently a fucking whore. I saw her cowering away from him, as we all came running.

There is such distain for female staff. And this is in a good, well regarded school.

Sorry, just offloading here.

@Vebrithien have you seen this twitter post from Maya it links to a Telegraph article about the head of OFSTED warning about RSE lessons.

twitter.com/mforstater/status/1633952829718028288?s=12

@Vebrithien 🍫

Let's hope the petition getting to 100000 (and beyond!) helps moves things in the right direction.

All everyone can do is try not to let it get to you too much and keep chipping away at it.

The children that are being subjected to this shit won't know the part you played, they may not even realise what schools tried to do to them, but you'll always know you did what you could to protect then from this insanity.

I couldn't find a hug emoji, so have a cat to stroke, they're good for calming frayed nerves

🐈

Thanks, @Boiledbeetle , and @ScrollingLeaves .

The petition threads have been a wonderful balm this week. Your dedication there has been wonderful to see.

I'm off to get DD up, and when she is in school, there are 6 mums meeting up to have a chat, and plan.

Sedition, all the way!

So, unlike here there are actually 6 of you!

Look at you with your own little real life terven of witches!

I hope you've checked with the school that it's okay for six women to gather in one place, sounds a bit dangerous.

Crikey yes, they might start THINKING and get IDEAS !

Don't be stupid. They are women after all.

But best separate them just in case.

One of them might have been listening to her husband

I've only just read all this @Vebrithien and just wanted to say what you've done is not a small thing it's huge.

You've made a whole organisation stop and have to think, they've been forced to realise this isn't just a simple Be Kind issue, and they need to think it through. They'll now be aware there's a fight back on and they better be ready. No more just 'arent we lovely and inclusive ' mindlessness.

Everyone of those people will be going home and speaking to friends etc and sharing what's happened, they'll be linking it with things in the media and realising it's getting serious and they need to get serious.

For every parent who knows you've done this they'll realise there are issues in schools. They may not understand, engage in or agree at this point but they know it's not all straight forward anymore.

Then for every woman reading on here you inspire us to do our bit and make our challenge and make us braver.

This is so much more than the posters.
Well done, it's obviously taken a toll but at least you'll always know you're a person who stood up and did the difficult when the time came.

And this WhatsApp crap?? It's a private messaging service, they can't control how you use it.

Tell them to fuck off.
Or at least don't worry about it and ignore them!

So sorry to hear about this @Vebrithien I hope there have been appropriate consequences for this boy. It's depressing to hear that you've been subject to this sort of behaviour. And people wonder why teachers are leaving in droves...

Well done for keeping on with your school, you are winning slowly and it's such an inspiration. I hope the meet up with the other parents goes well (and that there is cake).

Thank you, all.

Our meeting was wonderful. 6 women, round a table, having a sensible, rational discussion. We all have different views and backgrounds, and we all listened to each other.

And, the younger children all played together.

We've decided that the first step is to send a group email (and there are some other parents who will support this, but couldn't make it today) asking to see the resources used for teaching RSE.

We already have a list of concerns, so then if and when things are refused, or we see concerning resources, we will then follow up as a group, escalating as needed.

One of the mums on the PTA is going to scope out the chair of governors. As a PTA representative, she is also going to make a complaint about the heavy handed way the school has clamped down on WhatsApp use.

Another mum is going to make a formal complaints about a member of staff calling her boy a girl, because he has long hair.

I am going to send a few more references, and have read the whole Miriam Cates report, so will extract the interesting points and references for us all.

A fourth mum is going to ask the school about how they are ensuring that gender stereotypes are not perpetuated.

We'll all work together to write the emails.

Phew.

This is what we need. Women working together. Not kept apart and silenced for their concerns, never knowing that other people share these questions.

Couldn't have done this without you all. Even the shit who asserted on my first thread, that the rights of transwoman in female prisons were for the greater good, so women should just give up. Even they helped to formulate this.

The walls, they come tumbling down.

That sounds an excellent meeting.

Go Vebrithian! And your action group. Sounds like a fantastic meeting. Stronger together and all that.

I don't know if you saw Newscast on BBC1 last night but Gillian Keegan Education Secretary was on. She was asked about RSE teaching in schools following Miriam Cates' report. Buried in her usual semi-coherent waffle was a clear statement that parents have a right to see the materials schools are using. Worth a watch.

@Vebrithien you are amazing!