Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Shit'd hit the fan if they find the messages here.

As also, apparently I shouldn't have forwarded, or shared the content of the emails.

Why? It doesnt break any GDPR or personal informationa bout anyone does it

Apparently, the emails are meant to be confidential.

But (with only one slip-up, which Mumsnet came to the rescue on), I have mentioned no names.

So much for transparency

And what would happen if you refused to remove the whatsapp messages

Don't know.

I can't removed the copies that other people forwarded and posted on different year groups. I have no access to those, so could only delete the original two.

Vebrithien · Today 18:50

I've received a phone call and email from the school (assistant head), telling me off for breaking the parental code of conduct, and posting about my concerns on the (non-official) year group WhatsApp group.

What Parental Code of Conduct is that? Have you signed anything to say that you can't share emails from the school?

I've no idea if I have signed it. We were in the middle of the first lockdown when DD was offered the place. I don't remember physically signing anything.

It is on their website.

Does it say anything about not sharing emails? Because if not, it's an empty threat to intimidate you.

No blanket ban on sharing emails, just that we mustn't share emails that attack a pupil or member of staff.

Social media (WhatsApp isn't mentioned) we should post nothing that brings the school into disrepute.

Oh, and we shouldn't use social media to challenge school policies.

Well, no pupil, or member of staff has been attacked, have they? The DH corresponded with you, with no disparagement of them, so they cannot feasibly claim that.

The genies is out of the bottle, anyway.

@Vebrithien you have got them rattled, hence the overreaction.

Download a copy of the Parents Code of Conduct just so you have a copy as at current date.

Tell them you have removed your posts and that they will need to contact the other posters to remove their posts.

Nothing in your letters could be seen as defamatory, in fact you provided substantial evidence to back up your position.

I suspect it is about "bringing the school into disrepute" and "challenge school policies".

They can apparently ban me from the school site.

@Vebrithien Sorry to hear this. It's outrageous that the school is behaving like this, but it's really what I meant by schools trying hard to divide and conquer parents. It's not a healthy situation when a school is THREATENING a parent. I don't think it's unreasonable for them to ask you to remove the whatsapp messages (not saying I agree with it but I think asking politely is fine) however threatening is another matter.

Parents should be able to discuss issues that affect all pupils including sharing information the school has sent as long as it contains no personal information. Otherwise the school could be saying one thing to parent A and the opposite to parent B.

A similar thing happened at our secondary - they shut down a chat by saying no parents were allowed to post anything criticising the school - this was in response to a parent seeking views from other parents on a specific issue (nothing to do with RSE / gender etc).

Unless they are actively communicating on these issues with all parents (which they're not) then I don't see how anything you've done is wrong.

Talk about trying to silence people, I actually find this really quite chilling - our country seems to be moving towards totalitarianism.

Threats like this work on a lot of people. I know several people with SEND kids whose needs have not been met in schools who have essentially been threatened with social services when they've tried to push for more help from the school and so have backed down. Neither would have anything to worry about from SS - they're amazing parents - but it's the disruption and stress heaped upon an already stressed family and child. In one case they're homeschooling now.

Oh crikey! I don't see how it possibly could, quite the opposite, in fact.

The school has had some inappropriate posters, a concerned parent brought it to their attention, they had a consultation, agreed with the parent and then removed the offending article. What a marvellous example of co-operation - how can you, or they themselves - bring the school into disrepute?

No, you're not 'bringing them into disrepute' unless they're doing anything wrong? You said nothing rude, it was entirely evidence based.

They've brought themselves 'into disrepute' by not knowing the law, if anything.

They can't have policies that prevent parents from pointing out if the school is doing something wrong./ breaking the law. Otherwise they could teach children the earth is flat and if parents discussed it they would be 'bringing the school into disrepute' - but quite rightly as they'd be indoctrinating the kids with unscientific bunkum.

Chilling, properly chilling.

It seems more and more as if institutions feel they can silence women.

Think it's fairly standard tbh - numerous schools "police" school related groups to try to stop open criticism of staff / the school. I'd probably see it that you've achieved your initial purpose - the posters are down, the school are aware of some of the issues and many other parents are now aware and will feel empowered to tackle future thoughtless signs ups to dubious organisations.
Maybe a gracious removal of posts critical of the school along with a request to the school to plan some future discussions with parents /about how they are navigating these issues could work?

They can't have policies that prevent parents from pointing out if the school is doing something wrong./ breaking the law.

I agree with that entirely.

I can't remove the posts 😨

Because they were posted a while ago, there isn't the option to delete them for everyone, only for just me.

Just to add - I do agree that they're being heavy handed - they've been caught out in the first place and now you're being targeted. Rather than them having the emotional intelligence to realise they've taken bad advice in the first place, they're lashing out at you.

Yes, I'd agree suggest the school have a parents forum to discuss it and you will remove the posts you can.

However, you have done nothing wrong so I would say something that 'in the spirit of cooperation I will remove some whatsapp posts but I have not broken the parental code of conduct and do not think it is conducive to good parent / school relations to imply I have'.

I would also like to point out this is very ANTI a culture of safeguarding. Ofsted are very interested in a culture of safeguarding in schools and this is one of the main things they consider during inspections. If parents are bullied into silence, afraid to speak up when they see something they think is wrong, then safeguarding goes out of the window.

This reeks of a particularly motivated politicially driven member of staff. It's not ok to threaten parents with the police.

You know you've said nothing defamatory. Take that line in particular directly to the chair of governors and make a complaint. Threatening parents in this way would totally silence any parents less confident and assured: it's bullying and it's anti safeguarding.

Also - massive support, solidarity and sending virtual tea and cake.

dimorphism · Today 19:53

I would also like to point out this is very ANTI a culture of safeguarding. Ofsted are very interested in a culture of safeguarding in schools and this is one of the main things they consider during inspections. If parents are bullied into silence, afraid to speak up when they see something they think is wrong, then safeguarding goes out of the window.

Well, that's very interesting. Perhaps Veb should say that she'd be happy to refer it to OFSTED?