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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Anybody considering home schooling because of all of this gender fuckery?

109 replies

YourVagesty · 26/01/2023 14:24

Disclaimer before we get into it: I am, and always will be an ally to the lesbian and gay communities.

Right, that out of the way... I've got two nieces and a stepdaughter who all think they are trans. Frankly, I'm fed up of every conversation with them leading back to whether they are a demiboy or queer etc. It's relentless. I've told them to forget labels and focus on what makes them a good or inspiring person, and to just fall in love with whoever they fall in love with - when they are old enough obviously. Whatever, I don't care.

I'm over the culty obsession with all of it and if it was any other trend, I'd be unconcerned (teen fads come and go). But obviously, with this one, they are at risk of ending up sterilised or in chronic pain if they get too sucked into it.

As much as I'd hope that this will all pass, part of me thinks this new scientific-unreality is here to stay and frankly, I don't want my toddler to enter a school system that promotes the idea that you can choose to be male or female. I don't need him having anxieties over whether playing with girl toys makes him a girl etc.

I don't want him coached into thinking about things that I find as unbelievable as the existence of Jesus Christ.

I want him to learn life skills and make friends basically. So my mind is ticking over the idea of home schooling and I wondered whether others are feeling this way?

I guess if there are enough parents that feel this way in some geographical areas, that they could start their own mini schools?

Obviously, as he gets older, I'll be careful with his Internet use too because I know the Internet shoulders much of the blame for the social contagion aspect.

If there are any teachers reading, what's your perspective on this? What is happening in the schools from your point of view? I'm from an academic background and I know the universities have gone all in on all of this. Meh.

Sorry for the long post!

OP posts:
MrsMorrisey · 26/01/2023 21:36

I don't think that sending them to a Christian school is the answer unless you have some faith or hope for some faith for your child.
We are a Christian family, sent our kids to a Christian school thinking we were doing the right thing.
My husband was on the board and soon discovered that it is not better than any other school.
They still have to follow the syllabus and if this teaching is essential to the curriculum than even Christian teachers will teach it.
Therefore being totally hypocritical to their own faith which then impacts a child by them thinking they don't even practice what they preach, what's the point of faith?
Very damaging and hard for a child to work out.
We need to not rely on schools to teach anymore.
I'm a homeschooler now and have been for the last two years.
Best thing we've done for our family.

TheaBrandt · 26/01/2023 21:47

It’s not a thing at my dds school (state all girl). Not a mention. Heard on grapevine a parent is trying to get their son in as he feels like he is a girl - flat no from the school…

HarrietSchulenberg · 26/01/2023 22:01

It's not coming specifically from schools, it's coming from anywhere that teenagers gather together with an opportunity to socialise. You would have to socially isolate your child to avoid any exposure to trans ideas. Do you really want to do that?
The home ed community has its share of kids thinking they're trans too, it's not just schools that are experiencing this.

Original poster
YourVagesty · 26/01/2023 22:11

"It's not coming specifically from schools"

They're not helping though. My stepdaughter comes home with books like 'Auntie Uncle: Trans hero!' She comes home telling me that they've had talks about gender, and about what it means to be non-binary etc. And she hangs out every day with a group of misfits who all believe they are trans, and you have to be trans to be 'in the club'.

She has always been unpopular but in this ideology, she's found a group of friends. And having the fiction of their fantasy world backed up by teachers is damaging.

Some schools are having real problems with this.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 26/01/2023 22:13

What @JeanBodel said.

Transition seems to have increased during lockdown, not reduced.

Ds went to his local comprehensive and he learned about this issue via his best friend's sibling, who has now transitioned. Tbh I think he sees transition as something that attracts children who have got a lot of problems. He has had a few himself so I can't imagine him ever deliberately misgendering anyone or trying to hurt them, but I think he also finds it quite odd.

Homeschoolunhero · 26/01/2023 22:16

It wouldn’t help. The community is rife with it and even more cloistered than school with the parents behaving like twitter nutters against anyone who doesn’t fall in line.

Fieldfly · 26/01/2023 22:33

Most kids, ime, quietly roll their eyes at the trans stuff. All the homeschooled children I’ve met that have rejoined school and a few that haven’t have had various issues and difficulties. Homeschooling to avoid the trans nonsense would be avoiding one potential risk but depriving your dc of a great deal else.

Tabasco007 · 26/01/2023 22:39

Twizbe · 26/01/2023 15:05

@Kam610 these kids are shitting on the floor at school?!

Fuck me.

They can't be, that has to be a wind up....

Cantseethewindows · 26/01/2023 22:44

Teacher PoV (secondary): I have yet to come across a happy and healthy, well-adjusted teen who is trans/ non-binary. I am extremely concerned about the mental health and wellbeing of a lot of our pupils. I also note that there is one pupil with anorexia in a school of 1200 and at least ten who are trans/ non-binary/ boys wearing skirts. I just hope I don't say the wrong thing and incur the wrath of the trans lobby.

YourVagesty · 26/01/2023 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MountainRinglet · 26/01/2023 23:03

Re the cat thing, that's been around for a while. My children say these kids are called the Furries at school, can be any animal apparently not just cats! Complete madness. We discuss these things at mealtimes and we all agree it's bonkers, my children laugh about it. They tell me the Furries are generally a slightly oddball group who are really just after a bit of attention. I don't think my children will be in any way affected going forward. There are some very strange people around, I think it's best to acknowledge that and get on with your own life.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 26/01/2023 23:07

We shouldn't have to take children out of schools because some of the adults in them are behaving unprofessionally. We need to challenge schools when they get dodgy organisations in or become Stonewall champions and create a hostile environment for girls and women. We need to speak out in numbers, not stay silent and insist that schools deal with what they have the skills and knowledge to deal with - & that doesn't include socially transitioning children.

Itisbetter · 26/01/2023 23:07

You’ll meet exactly the same stuff being spouted in HE groups. I think school is easier.

Cantseethewindows · 26/01/2023 23:08

For me personally, I go along with requests to do with pronouns etc (you rarely use third person pronouns within earshot of the person you're referring to anyway) because there is no conceivable harm to women from that. I do find it confusing and irritating AF when my year 11s refer to individual pupils as they. It seems to be the new in thing, even if the pupil in question is not trans or anything. I do try not to roll my eyes too loudly though...

Kam610 · 27/01/2023 14:24

Tabasco007 · 26/01/2023 22:39

They can't be, that has to be a wind up....

Show quote history

It's true unfortunately. The newspapers reported on it yesterday. The school and the council are supposedly denying that there are "cats" at the school, even though numerous pupils have confirmed it's true, but they did admit that their staff have had to clean up faeces.

SpentDandelion · 27/01/2023 14:40

Home educated children are far from deprived, school is very limiting, imagine thinking the only way your child can get an education is between the four walls of a classroom?

Gcfemale · 27/01/2023 14:42

@RaininginDarling I wonder how the school can take the side of people who deem themselves to be non domesticated animals, afaik, schools don't enrol animals so said animals should have zero involvement in any decision making for anything. As cats are they allowed to crap anywhere too? And currently if you run over a cat you don't have to report it to the police, how would they/their parents feel about that? It's total BS - and such a first world problem, I bet if they were plonked in the middle of a third world country they would soon have more important stuff to occupy them.

Original poster
YourVagesty · 27/01/2023 15:39

"And currently if you run over a cat you don't have to report it to the police"

😂

OP posts:
RaininginDarling · 27/01/2023 18:09

Well indeed @Gcfemale - the thing I find most troubling is the dereliction of duty by the adults who don't seem to be able to understand child development or imaginative play - sooo eager are they to show how incredibly broad minded they are.

Darhon · 27/01/2023 18:15

YourVagesty · 26/01/2023 14:24

Disclaimer before we get into it: I am, and always will be an ally to the lesbian and gay communities.

Right, that out of the way... I've got two nieces and a stepdaughter who all think they are trans. Frankly, I'm fed up of every conversation with them leading back to whether they are a demiboy or queer etc. It's relentless. I've told them to forget labels and focus on what makes them a good or inspiring person, and to just fall in love with whoever they fall in love with - when they are old enough obviously. Whatever, I don't care.

I'm over the culty obsession with all of it and if it was any other trend, I'd be unconcerned (teen fads come and go). But obviously, with this one, they are at risk of ending up sterilised or in chronic pain if they get too sucked into it.

As much as I'd hope that this will all pass, part of me thinks this new scientific-unreality is here to stay and frankly, I don't want my toddler to enter a school system that promotes the idea that you can choose to be male or female. I don't need him having anxieties over whether playing with girl toys makes him a girl etc.

I don't want him coached into thinking about things that I find as unbelievable as the existence of Jesus Christ.

I want him to learn life skills and make friends basically. So my mind is ticking over the idea of home schooling and I wondered whether others are feeling this way?

I guess if there are enough parents that feel this way in some geographical areas, that they could start their own mini schools?

Obviously, as he gets older, I'll be careful with his Internet use too because I know the Internet shoulders much of the blame for the social contagion aspect.

If there are any teachers reading, what's your perspective on this? What is happening in the schools from your point of view? I'm from an academic background and I know the universities have gone all in on all of this. Meh.

Sorry for the long post!

You’re trying to assert a level of control that would be worrying to be honest. You can’t cut kids off from social discourse and if you home school properly, he will still be socialising and my gut is with a high proportion of children from families who are less mainstream and maybe more into this sort of thing. Also, teens says all sorts of things, it doesn’t mean that is what they will believe in 5-10 years. Sorry, I think you are overthinking it.

R4nd0mNumb3r5 · 27/01/2023 18:23

Kam610 · 27/01/2023 14:24

It's true unfortunately. The newspapers reported on it yesterday. The school and the council are supposedly denying that there are "cats" at the school, even though numerous pupils have confirmed it's true, but they did admit that their staff have had to clean up faeces.

Show quote history

@Kam610

Could you link to the article please? The only one I can find is debunking it as a conspiracy theory.

Sarahcoggles · 27/01/2023 18:36

YourVagesty · 26/01/2023 16:14

@Sarahcoggles

I get your perspective but if they're not in school, they might still be aware of it but they won't be exposed to the peer pressure.

I don't think awareness itself is that threatening. Not in the context of a compassionate and informative home education.

The damaging thing is authority figures (teachers) espousing these views as though they are fact, and social contagion.

This is a very strange perspective. Are you aware, OP, that even when your child is at school, you will still see him and speak to him? You will be his primary influence. My kids went to the village primary - C of E - lots of religious assemblies and church visits but they still came out as atheists. They then went to the local state comp for secondary school, where there are a few trans people I believe, but literally no peer pressure to be trans. And the teachers never discuss it as far as I can gather.

I think you're catastrophising.

WarriorN · 27/01/2023 18:53

I'm a teacher and I feel I know my area well and the schools my kids go to so am not worried. The whole thing is a bit late to hit up here compared to other areas. At the moment. I know of some issues in a neighbouring LA.

I'm aware it may not last but I also feel it's less of an issue for my boys than if I had girls.

I've also spent a lot of time grounding them in nature and biology, busting sexism and gender stereotypes (though they're both pretty conforming.)

Very much delaying phones and social media as long as I possibly can. They don't have Internet access beyond cbbc/ iPlayer. No robolox etc, mine craft closed is ok. I took YouTube kids away mainly as I hate the format but also my eldest's behaviour was effected (as was a friend's child of the same age.) he watches much better things via iPlayer, including lots of nature documentaries.

WarriorN · 27/01/2023 18:54

It's not really possible to homeschool if you're a teacher though so none of us do Grin

CrimsonPostBox · 27/01/2023 18:57

No serious, intelligent person thinks that Jesus didn't exist. Not believing his deity is one thing, but it's a historically accepted fact that he existed.

Sorry but had to clear that up.