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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The effect of gender ideology on women's health, mental and physical

150 replies

pattihews · 26/01/2023 13:35

Lots of the women I meet say things that indicate their mental and physical health is suffering because of gender ideology.

I know two mothers whose children are caught up in the ideology and threatening to transition and they are both on medication for depression and anxiety. One of them is also facing a marital breakdown because her husband can't deal with the daughter and has moved out.

I know someone who was forced out of a job as a result of expressing her GC beliefs and while all the horror of being bullied by colleagues was going on, developed heart problems — which she is sure were caused by a year of constant stress.

I can think of three people who have left jobs — one academic, one social worker, one in publishing — who quit because they felt the stress they were under was making them ill. All of them were surrounded by woke colleagues who denounced them for transphobia. Two of them were lesbians and felt that there was homophobia involved. In two cases HR was panic-stricken and didn't support them. They are all women who had never previously had any issues with colleagues or management and all are traumatised by what's happened.

Has gender ideology and everything that has resulted from it caused you mental or physical ill health?

Is there anyone researching this? What is this madness costing the country? I keep reading about the fact that hundreds of thousands of people have left the workforce. It's blamed on Covid, but how many of those who've quit workplaces are people who left because of the stress of being impelled to express beliefs they don't own?

OP posts:
Theeyeballsinthesky · 26/01/2023 18:11

Lol at the idea that you can swan into fwr, loftily lecture women, say you don’t want to engage because it’s an “attack” and expect to be taken seriously

yet another poster who thinks mumsnet is their actual mum & therefore should just listen 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:14

How do you quote a quote Boiled? I can't seem to do that.

OP, I'm absolutely fucking furious about all this which I doubt is good for my health. I have no patience for anyone pussyfooting around the issue and I despise the handmaidens going alongwith it. Men, well that can be expected but women? I won't forget. And I forget everything thanks to menopausal Brain Fog but not this.

SpringtimeCherries · 26/01/2023 18:19

I’m finding it hard re-entering the workplace, and finding it full of things I don’t agree with, but can’t say anything about. It feels very oppressive in a way I never felt in all my career before this.

My first was having to fill out an equal ops form for my job, which asked if I was cis woman. I mean?! I’m a woman for goodness sake.

Then seeing the obvious eye rolls when I still am the only one who doesn’t use ‘preferred pronoun’ badges/emails etc.

Trans issues seem to be way to prioritised in areas at my work where they are not a priority - which is not based on any evidence at all, just seems to be an unseen tick box.

So for me it’s marked me out as being ‘old’ and potentially ‘problematic’ in my mostly female, academic, scientific younger colleagues eyes. Which doesn’t help when I am trying to fit in and be taken seriously. It’s like a barrier of an ‘in club’ and an ‘out club’. When my work has nothing to do with trans issues at all!

CandlelightGlow · 26/01/2023 18:22

Theeyeballsinthesky · 26/01/2023 18:11

Lol at the idea that you can swan into fwr, loftily lecture women, say you don’t want to engage because it’s an “attack” and expect to be taken seriously

yet another poster who thinks mumsnet is their actual mum & therefore should just listen 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Excuse me? "Loftily lecture?" Is accidentally used the word cis in my own expression about how gender ideology effects my mental health. I won't engage with that poster because I perceive, rightly or wrongly, that they have a personal grudge against me which I believe is evidenced by them constantly going on about me.

What do you mean "swan in" as well? Is this just a clique or echo chamber? Why am I any less entitled to express my opinon? Do you consider any other feminists here swanning in or is it just because I have against the grain views on some topics?

Considering mumsnet your mum... Assume that's just an ageist personal attack on me too.

I guess another way gender ideology effects my mental health is the way feminism is heavily gate kept in some communities. Rather than people just saying they disagree with other ideas, people are happy to pile on personal attacks. Now I guess I'll be called a winey snowflake for daring to say other people are attempting to be hurtful. It's gross misogyny. Young people also are not a homogenous, good for the "other young poster" who agrees with you lot on everything. I don't see how or why that makes my views less deserving of being spoken.

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 18:23

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:14

How do you quote a quote Boiled? I can't seem to do that.

OP, I'm absolutely fucking furious about all this which I doubt is good for my health. I have no patience for anyone pussyfooting around the issue and I despise the handmaidens going alongwith it. Men, well that can be expected but women? I won't forget. And I forget everything thanks to menopausal Brain Fog but not this.

Like this? I press three ... Dots on the bottom right of a post and click quote

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:25

It must be because I use my phone. I can swipe a post to quote but if I try that in one that's already quoted (so your response to me below for example) I can't select quote again. Hence loads of copy, paste and bold!

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 18:26

Theeyeballsinthesky · 26/01/2023 18:11

Lol at the idea that you can swan into fwr, loftily lecture women, say you don’t want to engage because it’s an “attack” and expect to be taken seriously

yet another poster who thinks mumsnet is their actual mum & therefore should just listen 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

😁🍫

Wiccan · 26/01/2023 18:30

pattihews · 26/01/2023 16:57

I recent that you lay this at the door of people / women who did nothing who caused it .

No, I haven't said they caused it. I've said the fact that they have done nothing has enabled it to get a grip. Have any of the 'too scared of violence' people made an appointment to meet their MP face to face in the safety of the constituency office in order to tell their representative how they feel about all this? I'm betting not. Then go and book an appointment now (constituency surgeries are usually on Fridays or at weekends), you might even get something this weekend.

I'm sick of women who buy a suffragette scarf and then think they've done their bit for the struggle.

That is your opinion . I and other people came onto this thread to discuss the health / mental health and financial effects on their lives because this shit storm . Thanks for enlightening me with your semi lecture but it is not going to lift the fear I have I and others will do our part and voice our concerns but only where we feel safe doing it .

Sootybear · 26/01/2023 18:31

It has a negative affect on me for sure, but I am lucky in that lots of my friends and my grown up children are all on the same side. I know of one woman who has gone for early retirement as a nurse because she couldn't bare to lie anymore. A mum who's son won't see her since transitioning while at uni. I don't think she even knows where he lives anymore. I've seen lots of online bullying of women who say the 'wrong' thing and one of my best friends who is autistic has been bullied for not believing. So yes absolutely, this ideology has affected lots of women negatively.

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 18:33

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:25

It must be because I use my phone. I can swipe a post to quote but if I try that in one that's already quoted (so your response to me below for example) I can't select quote again. Hence loads of copy, paste and bold!

Ah, my eyesight is to shot to try using my phone!

But to go back to your original post that i didn't answer

As I'm home alone most of the time, when my cleaner comes I probably pay for about an hour for her to shout and show me tik tok videos about all this shit and we both rant, then the poor cow goes to try and do the cleaning but both of us keep remembering something else to rant about. She's full on our there in the wild Terf, putting people right I'm so proud of her!

My house is seriously getting dirty though!! She's supposed to be here for the good of my health, so i suppose three hours of us ranting does help my health!

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 18:40

SpringtimeCherries · 26/01/2023 18:19

I’m finding it hard re-entering the workplace, and finding it full of things I don’t agree with, but can’t say anything about. It feels very oppressive in a way I never felt in all my career before this.

My first was having to fill out an equal ops form for my job, which asked if I was cis woman. I mean?! I’m a woman for goodness sake.

Then seeing the obvious eye rolls when I still am the only one who doesn’t use ‘preferred pronoun’ badges/emails etc.

Trans issues seem to be way to prioritised in areas at my work where they are not a priority - which is not based on any evidence at all, just seems to be an unseen tick box.

So for me it’s marked me out as being ‘old’ and potentially ‘problematic’ in my mostly female, academic, scientific younger colleagues eyes. Which doesn’t help when I am trying to fit in and be taken seriously. It’s like a barrier of an ‘in club’ and an ‘out club’. When my work has nothing to do with trans issues at all!

If I miraculously I woke up tomorrow fit and back at work....I couldn't do it. I would probably have walked at the equal ops form whilst saying what I thought loudly.

I just would not have the patience to put up with it.

Luckily I never have to go back out there!

My heart goes out to you.

🍷

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 18:43

@Theeyeballsinthesky well, that's you told.

Gcfemale · 26/01/2023 18:44

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:46

I would love to join in the rants with you and your cleaner Boiled!
Ranting is a family trait. I had a rant about Beigels in work today because people keep calling them bagels!

Gcfemale · 26/01/2023 18:54

And there we go...my post has attracted Mumsnet attention for my lived experience.

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 19:00

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 18:46

I would love to join in the rants with you and your cleaner Boiled!
Ranting is a family trait. I had a rant about Beigels in work today because people keep calling them bagels!

Your welcome to, but I'm not paying you as well, although if you give the kitchen a good going over we could come to some agreement!

Ranting is a family gene for me to!

I can sympathise with your Beigal issue.

Wanders off to make bacon bagel for tea.

DialSquare · 26/01/2023 19:00
Grin
Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 19:01

Gcfemale · 26/01/2023 18:54

And there we go...my post has attracted Mumsnet attention for my lived experience.

What the???

FFS, what did you say?

DuncanBiscuits · 26/01/2023 19:03

It’s affecting my mental health, yes. I work with a wonderful young person who has just started testosterone, and I lose sleep over it. I feel complicit and worried for their future health and well-being.

I spend a lot of time angry and anxious - I have to step away from these boards periodically in order to give myself a break.

DuncanBiscuits · 26/01/2023 19:04

Oh, and the cognitive dissonance I’m forced into every working day isn’t doing me any good, either.

Peppermintaero · 26/01/2023 19:05

Thank you, BoiledBeetle and MrsOvertonswidow. (Can’t do nice bold names etc but I appreciate your support)

Delphinium20 · 26/01/2023 19:06

Gcfemale · 26/01/2023 18:54

And there we go...my post has attracted Mumsnet attention for my lived experience.

I'm so sorry! Please, if it helps you, maybe rewrite according to 'rules' and share? This thread has been quite meaningful and I think our stories are critical.

Gcfemale · 26/01/2023 19:10

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 19:01

What the???

FFS, what did you say?

Who knows, I am assuming someone reported it for some reason, maybe they could enlighten what was objectionable...maybe they think it's wrong that I should try and be honest or factual?

FrancescaContini · 26/01/2023 19:12

Boiledbeetle · 26/01/2023 15:39

We are women not ciswomen

👍

SpringtimeCherries · 26/01/2023 19:13

Thanks @Boiledbeetle it’s a strange world! I’m having to bite my tongue a lot but I am determined that at some point, I will start to say some of my opinions. At a point where I am less scared of being fired!