What gender heresy caused you to be thrown out of Facebook groups?

KatMcBundleFace · 2023-01-23T19:11:56+00:00

Standing up to gender wang has been my downfall on several Facebook groups. The Admin of a 745,000 strong group I recently joined, decided to call JK Rowling a "sadistic piece of shit, terf". He then banned posts about Harry Potter, because the group needs to be "safe space". He turned off comments as they were not going his way. He then booted out people for just laugh reacting, me included. Imagine if these pampered children actually have to deal with anyone genuinely sadistic. I've also been thrown out of a wild camping group for backing up someone who said it was dehumanising to call women "period havers". The admins bullied that person and called him fat. Yup, literally that playground. My biggest win was getting thrown out of a group run by Facebook itself. They are obviously going for Stonewall points and are training group admins in Gender ideology. There was a post about not using "gendered language". The example given was something like its bad to say "Hi Girls", in a group for women, as not all women identify as women, or some toss. Of cause the replies were a mess. From virtue signaling gone wrong eg the woman that went "we use guys to be inclusive " (she got jumped on), to people saying it was bollocks, to a couple of enbies saying that they are LITERALLY VIOLATED when they have to see terrible things like "ladies and gentlemen". The enbies then decided that everyone who disagreed with them should be booted out because its now an unsafe space. I called that behaviour bullying. And with that I got banned by Facebook staff. I must admit I stopped managing my group after that. It was very big and a lot of work. It generated a lot of interactions for Facebook, plus wider media coverage. I was a volunteer, for a horrible corporate business. Facebook sells data and undermines democracy, but at least the enbies feel seen. Anyway, has anyone else experienced this in Facebook groups?

Delphinium20 · 23/01/2023 19:19

Oh yes - in a women's group, no less! I even used words of the like "transgender" and "cis" and I was still called transphobic because I said something like , "I think we can be sensitive and kind to transgirls who want to play sports but we can't ignore cis girls need fair competition." Before I was banned, I had a LOT of "likes" to my comment. I guess I was getting too popular and the mean girls weren't going to stand for it.

Delphinium20 · 23/01/2023 19:28

I also had some serious verbal abuse that threatened sexual violence against me from a transwoman in a political forum. It wasn't even related to any trans issue. It was about women and abortion rights and this was pre-2019 so before I started paying attention to trans ideology. Thankfully, they banned the transwoman from the group and alerted the police. The comment was vile and seen by many people. The moderator wasn't a TRA. Just an old fashioned middle aged Democrat who can spot danger to women. I believe in free speech, but that was terrifying. Threatening to commit a violent physical act to a specific person isn't free speech, even in America.

Original poster

KatMcBundleFace · 23/01/2023 19:39

I'm sorry that happened to you! I'm glad the mods were good in that context!!

OP posts:

SidewaysOtter · 23/01/2023 19:49

I nearly got bullied out of a group a year or so ago for expressing “wrong think”, a group I’ve been part of in one form or another for many, many years. The lack of support when there was open bullying just compounded the issue and I was very upset at the time as that group means a lot to me. It all died down in the end but I haven’t forgotten the deafening silence.

On the up side, I quietly found solidarity with others who feel the same way so every cloud and that!

OhHolyJesus · 23/01/2023 19:52

I was thrown out of a women's networking group for posting about women and girls on International Women's Day.

It would be funny if it wasn't true.

MeanCanadianLady · 23/01/2023 20:00

I was thrown out of an lgbt+ group on reddit because I said I didn’t like being called a menstrator or addressed by my body parts. I don’t use facebook anymore as it’s gotten a little too aggressive just in general everywhere.

I was IP banned completely from reddit when I made a light joke basically saying “I would be fine being called a menstrator but only if male bodies are called ejeculators.” I’m not even sorry. Worth it! 😂😂😂

Chocolatetoastforbreakfast · 23/01/2023 20:04

A wild swimming group. Someone posted a link to a petition asking the UK government to bring in self id - this was in about 2019 before the govt kicked it into the long grass. Lots of 'Signed! xx' and 'So wrong that the government just can't let people be who they are' comments from dim handmaidens. I posted a comment saying that it wasn't quite as simple as that and that self id had serious implications for women and girls. The next time I tried to go into the group I'd been kicked out.

My proudest though is being banned from Everyday Feminism, that comedy 'feminism' site. I don't know if it's still going. I can't remember what I posted but I was leapt upon by the she/her orcs and one of their comments stayed with me, I would like to put it on my headstone when I die. She said "Chocolatetoast, you are a gross TERF and extremely problematic."

The awful thing is that it is so often women who are admins of these groups and vigorously policing everyone's language and aggressively booting anyone who dares question their mad beliefs. I just don't understand what they get out of it.

Tabitha1960 · 23/01/2023 20:22

I've been ejected very cruelly from two, and both have hurt me deeply and contributed to my isolation as a single, lonely, disabled pensioner.

The first was the women's group for my former trade union. Although I am no longer a member of the union I was a member for decades and also served as a shop steward, health and safety rep and member of the national women's committee. I gave up thousands of hours of my free time for ten years to help my fellow workers and in recognition of this I was allowed to remain in the union's "women only" FB group as an honorary member after I retired.

Then a transwoman became chief admin of the women's group. This person checked out my FB page, saw some posts they disagreed with, and without any jury or trial I was instantly ejected and banned for life.

I literally sobbed. Interacting with member of my old career meant the world to me.

The second one was different but equally painful and caused me to break down in tears. It was a social group of people who live in my small town, many of whom I had met in person or exchanged DMs with. One day someone started a thread asking everyone what issues were important to them in the next parliamentary election. I was one of about 40 people who replied. I simply said that single sex safe spaces were very important to me, as was being able to choose the sex of any doctor, nurse or care worker who would have intimate access to my body. I did not mention trans people at all. Within just 2 or 3 hours I was piled on and called names. Horrible and untrue motives were attributed to me. I was called a hateful nasty bigot and admin were summoned. Admin agreed and I was ejected from the group and banned for life. No appeal allowed. I was devastated. Nobody should be thrown out for holding a legal view on a social or political issue. I only want to uphold EXISTING LAW, not even asking for anything new let alone hateful.

Online groups mean far more to disabled people like me who cannot get out and about to socialise.

Delphinium20 · 23/01/2023 20:24

@Tabitha1960

BlackForestCake · 23/01/2023 20:43

The awful thing is that it is so often women who are admins of these groups

It's usually women who perform the FGM. Women who raise their daughters to defer to men. Women who write most of those magazines telling other women they’re not pretty enough or thin enough.

It's awful and I don't understand it either.

MeanCanadianLady · 23/01/2023 20:45

Tabitha1960 · 23/01/2023 20:22

I've been ejected very cruelly from two, and both have hurt me deeply and contributed to my isolation as a single, lonely, disabled pensioner.

The first was the women's group for my former trade union. Although I am no longer a member of the union I was a member for decades and also served as a shop steward, health and safety rep and member of the national women's committee. I gave up thousands of hours of my free time for ten years to help my fellow workers and in recognition of this I was allowed to remain in the union's "women only" FB group as an honorary member after I retired.

Then a transwoman became chief admin of the women's group. This person checked out my FB page, saw some posts they disagreed with, and without any jury or trial I was instantly ejected and banned for life.

I literally sobbed. Interacting with member of my old career meant the world to me.

The second one was different but equally painful and caused me to break down in tears. It was a social group of people who live in my small town, many of whom I had met in person or exchanged DMs with. One day someone started a thread asking everyone what issues were important to them in the next parliamentary election. I was one of about 40 people who replied. I simply said that single sex safe spaces were very important to me, as was being able to choose the sex of any doctor, nurse or care worker who would have intimate access to my body. I did not mention trans people at all. Within just 2 or 3 hours I was piled on and called names. Horrible and untrue motives were attributed to me. I was called a hateful nasty bigot and admin were summoned. Admin agreed and I was ejected from the group and banned for life. No appeal allowed. I was devastated. Nobody should be thrown out for holding a legal view on a social or political issue. I only want to uphold EXISTING LAW, not even asking for anything new let alone hateful.

Online groups mean far more to disabled people like me who cannot get out and about to socialise.

💐 @Tabitha1960 💐 That is terrible. I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through this. 😔

Datdamndamp · 23/01/2023 20:58

Delphinium20 · 23/01/2023 20:24

@Tabitha1960

I am so sorry that happened to you.

nepeta · 23/01/2023 21:05

@Tabitha1960 , so sorry that happened to you. And angry, too. When did people become so authoritarian and intolerant of even the slightest nuances?

Original poster

KatMcBundleFace · 23/01/2023 21:09

The stories are so sad. It really is unjust how women have been treated.

The only good thing is when you recognise a sister on there.

OP posts:

Boiledbeetle · 23/01/2023 21:11

Now I'm not sure wether to be relieved or sad that other than mumsnet I've never been in any groups or forums.

I feel like I've missed out somehow.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 23/01/2023 21:53

I lurked on a podcast Facebook fan page a few years back, it kicked off there because the podcasters interviewed a TERF (it was pulled before it was released), anyone making comments on the wrong side was kicked off, then they started kicking out people who were asking why people were being kicked off, it was bonkers really. The podcasters removed themselves officially from the Facebook page not long after apologising profusely. Until then I didn’t really have an opinion, I was just happily bumbling along but that and the whole nasty JKR # (I won’t type it) was my “wait… WTF?!” moment.

IWannaBeInTheRoomWhereItHappens · 23/01/2023 22:14

I got deleted the other day because I posted a link to an Independent article about the Children's Commissioner's findings on some issues on PHSE in schools and innapropriate stuff that had crept in under the banner of inclusivity. Didn't even mention the T word. This is a group I've been a member of for years to do with my job. There was a pile on about how no schools would possibly allow anything like that in, they were governors don't you know and wrote the policies and would NEVER allow anything bad, and anyway isn't it great that children are taught to be sex positive these days, so much better than the bad old days when it was shamed. Etc. I couldn't believe they deleted an article from a non tabloid simply reporting facts. I don't feel safe in that group anymore.

@Tabitha1960 I am so sorry. I am disabled too and I understand.

Crozzlypocket · 23/01/2023 22:25

I got booted off a true crime podcast fan page (red handed) because the podcasts hosts did an amazingly interesting interview episode with a world renowned domestic violence expert. The fans went nuts because the expert was terfy, the hosts posted some massive self flagellating posts apologising for unknowingly hosting 'problematic' people. I defended the expert and her views. I rarely get into arguments on the internet but I thought fuckit and got stuck right in. Got a few likes and lots of supportive private messages but got an internet version of screaming in my face and tantrumming and accusations of dog whistling (I honestly didn't even know what that meant 🤣) on the thread and then I was booted. Was wild!

icantlivewithouttea · 23/01/2023 22:51

SinisterBumFacedCat · 23/01/2023 21:53

I lurked on a podcast Facebook fan page a few years back, it kicked off there because the podcasters interviewed a TERF (it was pulled before it was released), anyone making comments on the wrong side was kicked off, then they started kicking out people who were asking why people were being kicked off, it was bonkers really. The podcasters removed themselves officially from the Facebook page not long after apologising profusely. Until then I didn’t really have an opinion, I was just happily bumbling along but that and the whole nasty JKR # (I won’t type it) was my “wait… WTF?!” moment.

Redhanded by any chance? I remember this so well. Even when they apologised, they were criticised for not apologising quickly enough. I just remember thinking, a simple apology will never be enough for some people. I don’t blame the hosts for leaving the group!

Chocolatetoastforbreakfast · 23/01/2023 22:55

Tabitha I’m so sorry that happened to you. Revolting bullies.xx

ferretface · 23/01/2023 22:56

I'm so sorry @Tabitha1960 :( I think it's disgusting you were treated that way.

Wbeezer · 23/01/2023 23:09

Not a Facebook page but the " two xx chromosomes " subReddit. Not really the same community feeling as a Facebook group but still gave me an odd feeling seeing " you have been permanently banned" pop-up in my messages.

Xiaoxiong · 23/01/2023 23:17

I was kicked out of the Lib Dems, does that count? I didn't even leave, they actually kicked me out and cancelled my direct debit because I wrote to them asking if Baroness Featherstone's comments about GC women not being welcome in the party was party policy. Got a letter back saying "we're sorry to see you go, we have cancelled your DD".

LINABE · 23/01/2023 23:37

Tabitha1960 · 23/01/2023 20:22

I've been ejected very cruelly from two, and both have hurt me deeply and contributed to my isolation as a single, lonely, disabled pensioner.

The first was the women's group for my former trade union. Although I am no longer a member of the union I was a member for decades and also served as a shop steward, health and safety rep and member of the national women's committee. I gave up thousands of hours of my free time for ten years to help my fellow workers and in recognition of this I was allowed to remain in the union's "women only" FB group as an honorary member after I retired.

Then a transwoman became chief admin of the women's group. This person checked out my FB page, saw some posts they disagreed with, and without any jury or trial I was instantly ejected and banned for life.

I literally sobbed. Interacting with member of my old career meant the world to me.

The second one was different but equally painful and caused me to break down in tears. It was a social group of people who live in my small town, many of whom I had met in person or exchanged DMs with. One day someone started a thread asking everyone what issues were important to them in the next parliamentary election. I was one of about 40 people who replied. I simply said that single sex safe spaces were very important to me, as was being able to choose the sex of any doctor, nurse or care worker who would have intimate access to my body. I did not mention trans people at all. Within just 2 or 3 hours I was piled on and called names. Horrible and untrue motives were attributed to me. I was called a hateful nasty bigot and admin were summoned. Admin agreed and I was ejected from the group and banned for life. No appeal allowed. I was devastated. Nobody should be thrown out for holding a legal view on a social or political issue. I only want to uphold EXISTING LAW, not even asking for anything new let alone hateful.

Online groups mean far more to disabled people like me who cannot get out and about to socialise.

This is absolutely disgusting.
The Country is totally fucked up.
I'm so sorry. Try to rise above these cruel, twisted assholes.

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 23/01/2023 23:53

I got chucked out of the DIVA group for saying that me have breast tissue so calling breast feeding, chest feeding makes no sense.