“You don’t get to decide whether you’re transphobic or not and you don’t get to decide you’re an ally”

[AuuYSC]

Then who does?

This was said to me by a transman when I said that buying a video game (hogwarts legacy) doesn’t define a persons morals and personal beliefs (because let’s face it, nothings really ethical unless you live off the grid completely) which of course was met with a stream of abuse and how I don’t care about trans lives.

I pointed out that actually I do, I am gender critical and I don’t think JK Rowling is transphobic but I also appreciate that trans people do face danger and need protection and I also think they have a right to be who they want to be. I’m also part of the lgbtq community and donate to the local youth club (I’ll admit it’s not just the trans people who benefit from my donation but it helps the whole community).

Am I wrong in thinking that the trans community are actually causing more harm to themselves with this game boycott because judging by the pre order sales (and the millions of people that visit HP world and theme parks and buys all the merch) that actually there isn’t a lot of people on their side and by telling people what they can and can’t do, saying they’re transphobic etc for simply buying a game or spending their money isn’t making the point they think it is?

It just really made me think about what the end goal is here, do they really think being treat as the biological sex they identify with, will help them?

Imagine if we all said okay trans men are men and trans women are women and we’ll treat them like such - trans men will be put into male prisons and wards (imagine how that’ll go), medical treatment will be restricted only to biological sex so if you’re a transman you can’t have smears because men don’t have a cervix etc obviously it’s absolutely ridiculous and won’t happen but I just don’t see the benefit of the whole “transwomen are women” stance, I think they sound be treat as trans people and we look at options for them like a third toilet option or a third sports category etc something that will benefit them without causing harm to biological men and women.

Sorry I went onto a bit of a rant, I’ve never considered myself to be transphobic but I guess if it’s not something I can decide for myself then who knows.

Okay 😕 👍 keep showing yourself then

TRAs seem incapable of actually measuring whether someone is transphobic.

If I was labelled transphobic by a non-TRA, I'd be happy to enter a discussion to demonstrate I am not (I am gender critical). If I was labelled transphobic by a TRA I'd just shrug and walk away. There's no arguing with stupid.

Excellent post. I wholeheartedly agree.

God yes.

And to compare a trans persons struggle to the civil rights movement just demonstrates how utterly privileged these people really are.

But how can words and actions mean anything when the goal post is constantly changing?

I genuinely donate to the local lqbtq youth club local to me and I’m going into a profession that helps trans people quite a lot but because I buy a game I’m transphobic?

If I don’t get to decide that I’m not transphobic then I don’t see how other people can decide that I am from buying a videogame.

I guess like PPs have said it’s a game that can’t be won.

I have an issue with being called transphobic as to why and how supporting women, including transmen, is transphobic. I m all for men doing what the hell they like, calling themselves what they like, and women can do the same. What neither sex can do is change sex. That has been the case since we existed as humans, otherwise we wouldn't still be here as we are.

Now if someone wants to called me misogynist-wanker-phobic then why yes.yes i am.

Thanks Running. That is interesting. It seems that someone has created a resource that is aimed at finding a solution that works for you and seems to respect the needs of others.

And by the sounds of it wants to remain anonymous.

Just some questions since you are so close to the issue. All of us have our own views on this, but what do you believe is driving this hatred? Have you seen this hatred develop over time and since when?

I genuinely donate to the local lqbtq youth club local to me and I’m going into a profession that helps trans people quite a lot but because I buy a game I’m transphobic?
For what it's worth, I'm a big Harry Potter fan and have been since the first book came out so get where you're coming from wanting to play the game - I still enjoy watching the films ( not read the books for ages though)
But then I see tweets asking *how do you sleep at night?" and her answering "I just look at my royalty cheques" and I can completely see why people feel the way they do too and don't want to contribute with any new sales.

And to compare a trans persons struggle to the civil rights movement just demonstrates how utterly privileged these people really are.
Nobody has compared the two at all though.
They're completely separate.
Prejudice comes in several different forms though and that's what's being pointed out.

I do find the discussion around racism interesting considering some of the racist posts in the past on these threads by posters who are quick to point fingers of shame at regular posters though.

You don't just decide you are one, surely your actions/attitude shows whether you are or not?

And what do your actions and attitude show? You support an ideology that puts rapist's in prison with vulnerable women, promotes the sterilisation and lifetime medication of teenagers, males in female sport therefore reducing the opportunities for females in sport, the exclusion of vulnerable or religious women from female single sex spaces once they know they are no longer single sex, crimes being attributed to women that were committed by males etc.
What does that say about you?

There’s no point expecting irrational people full of hate to have a sensible conversation.

The people now shrieking “transphobe!” at everyone who refuses to obey them, have ancestors in their family tree who burned the most intelligent/vulnerable women in the village as witches.

Promise you.

rapist's = rapists

Or the Spanish inquisition

Oh so she shouldn't stand up for herself?

No, she needs to accept the righteous judgement of the right side of history, pipe down like a proper woman and be grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow

yes just let men parading around in woman face tell her how to think and behave. They’ll tell us what a proper woman is!

Why should she have trouble sleeping? Peoples lack of comprehensive reading skills does not make her a terf bigot or murderer

Besides those numbers must be huge she is bound to fall asleep before the end like counting sheep

There is more than one side to history

But then I see tweets asking how do you sleep at night?" and her answering "I just look at my royalty cheques" and I can completely see why people feel the way they do too and don't want to contribute with any new sales.*

Why SHOULD she be apologetic for her views, particularly in the face of appalling abuse?

Because!

That's it sorry that's all I've got I've yet to find an argument that goes past that

Anyway this isn't about people choosing not to spend their own money on something. It's about people trying to bully others for their choices.

Absolutely. I don't use Amazon, I never tell anyone else they shouldn't, let alone start some kind of bullying campaign.

It absolutely has been compared before not on this thread, I'll grant you

Why SHOULD she be apologetic for her views, particularly in the face of appalling abuse?
Not saying she should be apologetic, just saying I can see why not everyone wants to contribute any more to her sales and that's individual choice