“You don’t get to decide whether you’re transphobic or not and you don’t get to decide you’re an ally”

[AuuYSC]

Then who does?

This was said to me by a transman when I said that buying a video game (hogwarts legacy) doesn’t define a persons morals and personal beliefs (because let’s face it, nothings really ethical unless you live off the grid completely) which of course was met with a stream of abuse and how I don’t care about trans lives.

I pointed out that actually I do, I am gender critical and I don’t think JK Rowling is transphobic but I also appreciate that trans people do face danger and need protection and I also think they have a right to be who they want to be. I’m also part of the lgbtq community and donate to the local youth club (I’ll admit it’s not just the trans people who benefit from my donation but it helps the whole community).

Am I wrong in thinking that the trans community are actually causing more harm to themselves with this game boycott because judging by the pre order sales (and the millions of people that visit HP world and theme parks and buys all the merch) that actually there isn’t a lot of people on their side and by telling people what they can and can’t do, saying they’re transphobic etc for simply buying a game or spending their money isn’t making the point they think it is?

It just really made me think about what the end goal is here, do they really think being treat as the biological sex they identify with, will help them?

Imagine if we all said okay trans men are men and trans women are women and we’ll treat them like such - trans men will be put into male prisons and wards (imagine how that’ll go), medical treatment will be restricted only to biological sex so if you’re a transman you can’t have smears because men don’t have a cervix etc obviously it’s absolutely ridiculous and won’t happen but I just don’t see the benefit of the whole “transwomen are women” stance, I think they sound be treat as trans people and we look at options for them like a third toilet option or a third sports category etc something that will benefit them without causing harm to biological men and women.

Sorry I went onto a bit of a rant, I’ve never considered myself to be transphobic but I guess if it’s not something I can decide for myself then who knows.

“You don’t get to decide whether you’re transphobic or not and you don’t get to decide you’re an ally”

And YOU don't get to decide how I see you, regardless of how you see yourself

I am an alive female gamer who has opinions and says them out loud.

This makes me transphobic.

Exactly, Nancy and Errol. I perceive males, and I perceive misogyny. That's up to me, not anyone else.

Great post Hellebore, analysing how some posters on forums, mn, twitter etc, spin the toxic narrative.

I have a slight chest infection and feeling a bit woozy and keep loosing track of which thread I'm on - there's three right now on this board where the dominant themes are coercive control, authoritarianism and extremism.

And I now laugh whenever some tells me that referring to someone’s sex is transphobic.

The other thing that has increased over recent months is the use of ‘anti-trans’.

FFS. The totalitarianism that is carried in the use of that word is stark.

Yet the users declare their ‘lefty’ political purity in the sentences following using that claim.

Jumping on the anti racist and anti ableist bandwagon.

Let's just all anti feminism them back. 😎

A transwoman in my local pub tried to have me banned for transphobia because I said I agreed with JKR. He claimed that I wanted him dead. 🙄

I no longer care if people think I'm transphobic. I believe trans people should have no more or less human rights than the rest of us. Demanding society collude in a lie is not a human right

We should revive "anti woman activists" as some much missed former posters called them.

Perhaps they're afraid of men because of the threat some men pose to women. By identifying out of being a woman they perceive that they are no longer at risk from men.

I mean it's all bollocks, but maybe that's the jumbled up thinking behind it.

"This was said to me by a transman"

Yeah, how about "you don't get to decide whether you're a man or not."

If only trans people were campaigning for recognition 'as trans', and campaigning for services for trans people, I think we'd all support them in that. Like we supported gay people campaigning to be accepted as gay people, and supported services for gay people.

But trans people are campaigning for recognition as what they're 'not' i.e. trans women want recognition as women rather than as transwomen. That's different.

And they're not campaigning for their own services, but to take women's services. That's different too.

I find the psychology of it fascinating too, in terms of the fragility of this cohort and how the act of hearing an opinion they don’t like is perceived as threatening to the point of “violence”.

But what I want to know is, where did this come from?

If only trans people were campaigning for recognition 'as trans', and campaigning for services for trans people, I think we'd all support them in that. Like we supported gay people campaigning to be accepted as gay people, and supported services for gay people.

A good piece on that topic from the archives of Jane Clare Jones.

Gay Rights and Trans Rights - A Compare and Contrast

This strategy has been incredibly effective. One of the reasons the trans rights movement has been able to make such an historically unprecedented ascent from obscurity to wall-to-wall dominance is because if you glance at it running from twenty paces, it does look exactly like the gay rights movement. And, right now the whole world is basically going to shit and a lot of people are too up-to-their-eyes in grind, precarity, sugar and anxiety to do anything but look at it running from twenty paces. People just want to be told what the good right-thinking progressive position is and then get on with the business of trying to get on with their business. Fair enough. But there’s a massive problem with all this. And that’s because the parallel between gay rights and trans rights is as superficial and insubstantial as that glossy sound-bite-stuffed Momentum video.

[...]

The key thing to understand about trans rights activism is that, unlike gay rights activism, it is not just a movement seeking to ensure that trans people are not discriminated against. It is, rather, a movement committed to a fundamental reconceptualization of the very idea of what makes someone a man or a woman. In theory, this equally affects both men and women, but in practice, almost all the social pressure is coming from trans women towards the idea of ‘woman’ and the rights of women. And that’s because, when it comes down to it, this whole thing is being driven by male people who want something female people have, and that something, is, in fact, our very existence. Moreover, it turns out – who knew? – that male people have the inclination and social power to exert extreme coercive pressure on female people, and to court the sympathy and support of other males when they do so. (It’s almost as if sex is a thing and that it has something to do with power after all mmmm?).

Argh, just read through this thread. ‘ Natural Woman’ is about someone having great sex and feeling alive again. It’s nothing to do with biology. There is so much ignorance in this whole debate.

Anyway, one of the greatest ironies in this whole movement is the demand that the world needs to respect how people identity themselves and use their words without question or error with the total and utter exception of those of us who emphatically do NOT want to be Cis. Then, self determination flies out of the window, and we are bigots. Fine, fine.

Like many GC feminists I have spent my life arguing for more equality, better rights, a better society. And I regard a lot of the trans narrative as deeply regressive, and harmful. I find that most of the people I talk to ‘offline’ and privately feel exactly the same way, and are terrified at the swift march of law and policy in areas with massive safeguarding flags, huge potential for harms. But we are all publicly silenced by this insistence that to speak out is transphobic, hateful and ignorant. I can only hope the tide turns quickly.

@NecessaryScene that sums it up brilliantly.

If someone needs to rely on emotional manipulation and blackmail it's because they don't have a good sensible argument.

I do sincerely hope that India and all people invited for cervical screening attend the appointment. With the proviso that where the speculum is inserted should be at the discretion of the healthcare professional.

Many TRAs seem obsessed with Harry Potter and JKR. They can't let it go.

It’s pure jealousy. Harry and his pals had the ability to change things with a wand swish and a bit of pretend Latin, no faffing around with hormones, meaningless new birth certificates and passports, voice coaching, surgery and changing the language to prove a point. I’m not surprised that TRAs are peeved.

Hence voluntary solitary confinement? I wonder if they've really thought that one through.

I was talking to ds2 a few months back and he said that I wasn’t transphobic but that i said stuff other people might find transphobic

its very confusing 😀

That’s up there with “non-crime hate incidents”. Either it’s something or it’s not; it can't be Schrödinger’s crime.

Hes not wrong

bearing in mind the OP has been accused of being transphobic for buying a game

Well, it might be, e.g. 'I'm not racist but I have sadly noticed that the grooming gangs of Rotherham were mostly made up of Pakistani men'- which is a statement of fact, because they were.