How do you speak up without being called transphobic

[Enterusername111333]

I just feel so lost... I don't know how to voice my opinion without accusations so I just take the easy option. Where does it end?

Your sister preferred you to dress that way. Got it.

No, I don’t think you are a homophobe at all, I just was confused by your seeming logic of what makes one a homophobe or not a homophobe. So imposed a few questions on you to see why.

For what it’s worth, I don’t agree that not putting in additional effort or being grudging about going to a civil ceremony makes a person a homophobe.

I also feel sad that you felt it necessary to dress the way your sister wanted you to and not as your authentic self out of fear of being branded a homophobe. I can understand the feeling of vulnerability and wrongness that you relate quite well in regards to feminine dress & accessories like heels, make up, and styled hair.

Was @AlisonDonut ‘a post deleted because it contained the words “mutilate” and “children” in close proximity to each other?

‘s

oh ffs i dressed that way so the bloody wedding photos would look good and not with me miserable unkempt in jogging bottoms because i love my sister. stop willfully misinterpreting what im saying.

the clothes point was to show the fact that i am a kind thoughtful person, two other things us "GC" are apparently not.

Weird huh.

That’s not what you said? You were quite poetic:
Now I never wear women's clothes. Never. But...I wore a skirt, and a frilly sleeved top from the women's section, and heels and makeup. And straightened my hair. Because she was worth it, because I love her. Oh and because I'm also not a homophobe.

I put myself out of my comfort zone, i presented myself to the world not as my true authentic self but how many sister wanted me look to the world on her wedding day. that made feel very vulnerable and, very wrong, to use another ideologies words. But I did it to show someone else that they mattered.

Now you’re saying it’s because of vanity over how you’d look in the wedding photos? This is the first time you’ve mentioned how you’d look in the wedding photos. So I’m at a loss as to how I’m misrepresenting what you’ve said earlier?

Not comprehending how the way one dresses makes one a kind and thoughtful person?

I think you have some odd ideas about performance of feminine stereotype means you’re a good girl on the inside.

OP, any thoughts?

Never mind, Boiledbeetle, some of us get it. And empathise - the last time I wore a skirt was in 1986. At my sister's wedding. I was considerably more churlish about it than you were, I'd bought a perfectly lovely and fairly stylish loose linen trousers and tuxedo jacket combo for the occasion, which for a grungy leftover punk was, I thought, enough of a concession. At which point my mother got hold of an earlobe and dragged me off to a perfectly precious little boutique that still wakes me up at night after too much rich food. Can't see why the poster giving you a hard time can't see your loving gesture for what it was, but there's an awful lot of wilful misinterpretation on here that simply eludes me...

Everything is transphobic. Speaking from a woman's point of view is transphobic. Saying woman and meaning a person with XX chromosomes is transphobic. A 3 year old calling you sir is transphobic.
Using preferred pronouns is transphobic if you don't do it with the right intention and mindset.
Doing the New York Times crossword is transphobic (yep I read this one on Twitter today). Praising successful trans people is transphobic as it's colonialist or something (another tweet from today).

It's Catholicism 2.0. You can sin just in your head even if no-one knows about it and you're still going to hell unless you recant.

Being called transphobic is like being hated by the Daily Mail. It's a compliment.

not how i look for me you pillock they werent my photos i never had to look at them, my poor sister does though.

and disengage and walk away Boiled, walk away.

my mother bought me, her dungaree wearing, hates pink daughter a broderie englay probably spelt wrong but you know what i mean, pink frilly dress, and patent ridiculous scuff if you even blink wrong girls shoes to wear to her own wedding when i was 10. oh how she laughed.

bitch.

Goodness, the monitors have been busy with this thread.

If only it was that simple.

I don't believe humans can change sex (because they can't. That's a fact). I've been called transphobic for saying that.

Mine asked me what kind of jumper I'd like for Xmas once. Plain black lambswool crewneck, I said, M and S would be great, thanks. Cue Xmas morning and what do I see when I pull off the paper? Baby pink with a lovely scalloped peter pan collar, batwing gathered sleeves, pastel flowers on the front and long ties from the neck with pompoms attached. Looked lovely in the cat basket...

Sorry, that was for Boiledbeetle.

Ultimately if any accusations become powerful enough, people will use them to try and gain the upper hand.

My dad used to say, "consider the source" and that's really the best advice. There is no point worrying if assholes or idiots call you transphobic, or homophobic, or racist, or anti-Semitic, or anything else.

@BellaAmorosa - agree that neither male born transsexual or faker should be in single sex spaces.

I just do bigot bingo these days when I'm accused of transphobia

It's quite fun

Most suppressed group ever- tick

Just be kind- tick

Comparison to nazis- tick

So called suicide rate- tick ( apologies to the genuinely suicidal btw)

But you're not allowing them to EXIST!

full house

My post was deleted. I'll try again.

No-one can change sex, so men cant be women.

From the point of view of many women who want to preserve female only spaces, the motivation of men who want to access them is irrelevant. Some will be predators. Some will be transsexuals.

There are all sorts of reasons for demands to access, but the space is irrelevant. It's just four walls and a floor, it's the presence of the women in the space that provides the reasons for access. Otherwise a third space would be the solution to all this, and we could all pack up and go home.

I know. What a waste of time. The views expressed here are mainstream now. If anything, they're less vehement here than elsewhere.

Still, if TRAs want to be kept busy reading all these posts, there's no argument from me. 😁

Can you fit the T word any more times in just 1 sentence?

Yes Datun, let’s look on the bright side…for every one of them slowly scouring this thread and furiously clicking “report” at some perceived transgression, that’s one less woman on Twitter on the receiving end of a rape or death threat.