Women and girls' sex-based rights

[StephanieSuperpowers]

Well, here we are...

The way I'm keeping up with this thread is by selecting the "I'm on" subheading for thread types, then clicking the link to this thread. It's reliably brought me to the first unread post every time so far....

Refugees may like to know The Thread Of Evil has been locked, at crabby's request (I think).

I kind of assumed I’d stay over there on news threads and the like but it feels different (not least because a lot of you were the most interesting posters)

Yes, same here. It’s not the same over there without the rest of you! Very little posting on some threads.

I'm reading on pc so am using 'watch thread' and the thread says when there are updates .

Be kind = shut up

If you're happy with that, crack on but most of us are done. Why should we be kind to people who are not kind to us.

I was having a bit of a look around the place today and I saw a post where someone basically said we're all adults, I won't moderate my tone. And I mentally said, YES.

As has the thread started by the owner that kicked this all off. And yet even today on another thread (lifeboat) some people are still moaning about some of us problematic types continuing to make things worse by having responded on that thread, and just about us in general. There's nothing quite as unedifying as bad winners.

. I expect kindness because we are human. I don't expect more kindness off women and I don't wish for kindness that is self sacrificing.

1 is fine, it's 2 & 3 that get the kickback. And the use of 'be kind' as an off switch to avoid debate.

Indeed. People should be kind but it often used to admonish women for not centering others enough, for being too loud, for having opinions.

I don’t think you are naive. Kindness is and remains a positive quality, all other things being equal. It is certainly better than unkindness, or indifference. The problem is that women and girls are socialised from a young age to subordinate their own needs and interests to others’ under the guise of being kind. Asserting ourselves and our boundaries is scolded as being unkind. The problem is not with kindness, it’s the use of the admonishment “Be kind!” to silence women, and to persuade us to cede ground in order to avoid upsetting other people.

Also, until men are under the same pressure to be kind...

And of course 'kimdness' isn't actually always kind. Sometimes what a person really needs is a cold.dose of reality - it's not what they want but it does them more good than kind agreement.

"I do this all the time" by Self Esteem is a great song about how women in the music industry are treated - expected to be kind, quiet, agreeable.

And being kind to men often involves unkindly throwing women under a bus.

@TheMorrigans

Yes I feel the same, many of the posters whose opinions I valued have gone. I had a mini work dilemma that I would have posted in the are they being unreasonable thread this weekend - but not sure what the point would be now.

@WallaceinAnderland

I don't think it would ever occur to me that be kind = shut up!

I don't think it would ever occur to me that be kind = shut up!

Some of us were the same. We were 'kind' even when it was a real cost to us. That time has now gone.

Genuine loving kindness really is 'the greatest of these'. I became very aware of that when I was looking after my parents. But people admonishing women to 'be kind' in this context are telling them to put up and shut up. Kindness sometimes means calling out dishonesty, and being kind to yourself.

I see the Women's Equality Party conference voted 87%-13% in favour of gender self-id. In happier news, here's Julie Bindel on Mermaids:

archive.ph/y27XU

Pithy as ever by Bindel.

WEP is a joke.

Just because someone is a man doesn't mean that they don't have anything to add to the conversation.
Grow up.

If a random bloke turns up & mansplains all over the place, thinking women will just sit & nod he'll get his head handed to him on a plate.

Just existing as a male in FWR is not a crime.

We could do with more men who care about their daughters (or any of the other women in their lives) speaking up & taking part in the conversation.

That's a good one from Bindel. I do wonder what's going behind the scenes at that benighted charity.

I'm not so sure, they soon try and take over - they can't help themselves.

Hello JTT escapees!

I used to be a regular in those parts, until I was directed over here to watch a slap fight Nd never went back.

I'm a massive believer in being kind, I believe the entire point of life is to enjoy your life as much as you can and to be kind whenever the opportnity arises, even going so far as to think we should look for opportunities every single day to commit acts of kindness.

However, I'm also not such an idiot that I cannot recognise the exhortation "be kind" is invariably doublespeak aimed usually at women, demanding they give in to men's wishes and not complain about it.

Hello, and welcome. I'm going to be very creepy now. Sorry! You don't know me, because I never registered, but I used to lurk on your board pre-lockdown because I thought the level of wit was very high. I've not visited since I made the foolish decision of downloading twitter over lockdown, because there was no time left after that, but I have occasionally wondered how various members were getting on and what you thought of these issues. I am utterly delighted to see your usernames again and to know you may be joining the fray over here.

Right, mission creepiness completed!