Women and girls' sex-based rights

[StephanieSuperpowers]

Well, here we are...

Automatic!

Ginmonkey, your post made me quite emotional. That's what I meant upthread about realising we've been in an abusive relationship all this time and not realised it. We all tried to make ourselves small, reasonable and kind while the men rose rough shod over all of us.

It feels almost shameful, but I want to let my anger out now.

Anyway, I've learned a huge amount from women here, which I believe is an almost uniquely female dominated/focussed space. I didn't learn it anywhere else!

Me too, just lurking over the years, and recognise exactly the dynamics you describe above in my own family. It’s so hard to break out of those habits, I find..

Hi @mazylou nice to see you here, although I’d understood (perhaps wrongly) that you were in the other camp. Whatever your views on the subject, I’m glad you’ve popped in to say hello.

Why are we now in Site Stuff?

I was just about to say, is everyone aware your thread has been moved away from the Feminist board?

Anyway, I've learned a huge amount from women here, which I believe is an almost uniquely female dominated/focussed space.

Absolutely! Echoing what some of the others have said, it feels a bit like waking up from Stockholm Syndrome. There is something liberating about being in a Default Female environment; it's not that I don't expect to see men here, but my assumption unless I recognise particular usernames is that I'm talking to women.

On the One Thread we were allowed in the Old Place, I got so used to detailed-careful-unambiguous-This-Is-What-I-Mean phraseology that I actually rather started to enjoy coming up with special phrases - and (perhaps this makes me a shit-stirrer at heart) it secretly pleased me that so many of the Righteous people really hated my wordings 😈

Presumably because it might have felt like we were establishing a colony to the usual residents. Can’t say I blame them, even though it wasn’t intentional.

it secretly pleased me that so many of the Righteous people really hated my wordings

Was it you or sparts who come up with 'partially sentient support bi-peds'?

That always made me smile.

I feel the suffix -phobe gets over-used as a synonym for dislike, contempt, even hatred, but I got the sense over the last couple of days that the site owner and a few of the other male posters really do fear women.

I've asked MNHQ why your thread's been moved over here? It seems very unwelcoming (not to mention rude).

We seem to be back in Feminism, and indeed on the 'active' page.

Well be fair, elderberry. Only those who have opinions.

All is well - just a bit of confusion at HQ methinks.

Ha! Me too. I found it difficult to follow now and then but I suspect that was the intention.

Tryctis thank you. I too am shocked and a bit angry I fell in to that trap. I have been posting on and off for years but I think in lockdown I was lonely and really really wanted these people to be my friends. And maybe they were and still are but the espisode over the last two days has shaken me.

I was not as engaged in the issue as many here were, but it mattered to me and when people asked "is this a hill worth dying on" I suddenly realised, yes, yes it is. Because next time it might be me or you. The purity is never enough. Our silence will not protect us.

Finally I suppose we got our answer to the question " what is more likely - a. A bunch of left meaning, LGBT friendly women women have suddently become awful bigots or b. There is an issue here that needs exploring" Apparently for many there it is definitely a. "You are all bigots now."

Left leaning not meaning FFS!

Sorry, having opinions is fine. It is expressing them in public utterly shamelessly that is the issue.

I'm a bit of an appeaser by nature, but remember the rage-fuelled eloquence the day we had that discussion on 97% of women experiencing harassment (and worse) and a few men said 'really?'. I've never fully gone back into my box.

Mind you, I had already gained a reputation as en evil person with nm at least for speaking truth about Irish history.

There is something liberating about being in a Default Female environment; it's not that I don't expect to see men here, but my assumption unless I recognise particular usernames is that I'm talking to women.

There's many wonderful GC men who post in here, they just keep it on the down low 😀

I'm still disappointed at the lack of enthusiasm for a mass hazing.

I'd got all the candles ready, and everything.

I have a few days away from the other place, then when I finally have chance to try to catch up on the most interesting thread there, you were all gone! At least this time I was able to find you all.

Obviously I didn't post on it very often, but it was the one thread I always read. I only started reading it as I could see the bigoted fuss some women seemed to be raising and wanted to understand what was going on. Several hours of reading later I had totally reversed my position, and was embarrassed by my complete lack of questioning up until that point.

I have learned so much and will certainly lurk here to carry on learning.

I am really disappointed with the old place. I was on the Guardian boards in the late 90s and didn't find JtS's lifeboat for a number of years after GUT went, but it felt like a continuation of something that has now been part of my life for over half of it. I won't leave it for good just yet, but the treatment of GC women leaves a sour taste.

By the way for total MN newbies, I always make sure I've bookmarked the last post when I get to the end of a thread, to save me scrolling all the way to the end the next time. You click on the 'bookmark' symbol to the right of the post in the mobile version. I can't remember how to do it on the desktop but I think its quite easy to spot.

It works best on the mobile version, I think, when you go straight to your bookmark when you open up the thread again. Others with more experience may have better advice.

Actually on the mobile version you have to left swipe on the < symbol, to expose the options including 'bookmark'

Anyone having difficulty navigating MN or any questions about technical stuff, you can post in Site Stuff and they will help. Or if you check previous threads, there's probably loads of posters asking the same thing.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff

Maybe I am naive but I don't quite get the kick back against 'be kind'. Surely kindness is a positive attribute. I expect kindness because we are human. I don't expect more kindness off women and I don't wish for kindness that is self sacrificing.

We're done with kindness in here, be free to let go - you'll feel a lot better for it :)