Do you talk about being GC in real life?

[Waiting4baby2]

I feel like Im going mad. I am a left leaning person, only ever read bbc and the guardian news. Generally a ‘live and let live’ sort of person who cares about equality.
I was completely in the dark about policy changes which have taken/ are taking place to put gender ID above sex/ the silencing of women and frankly the child abuse that has been taking place through affirmative care.
Now I’ve started properly looking into it I’m completely in shock at how this has been allowed to happen to women’s rights. Im also gobsmacked at the way the guardian and bbc have been so biased in the matter and failing to air any gender critical views.
I feel like now I’m aware of what’s going on I want my friends and family, particularly female members to know. However, it’s such a layered story to get across and when I have gently mentioned anything I basically get ‘well it’s none of my business, it doesn’t affect me how people want to live’ or ‘I don’t know much about it’ but are clearly disapproving. Just a question is it worth bringing some ideas to light for them or will they get there themselves? I’m feeling quite powerless but know how important this is so in a way feel duty bound to air the alternative view. What can I do?!

Yep - I talk about it socially all the time whenever the chance arises. I don't talk about it at work...yet.

I talk about this a lot to my immediate family where it's very safe to do so.

Not safe in mine, as we already have a trans family member (not my own child), cheered on through mastectomy at barely 18 by some who I had thought to have a bit more common sense than that.

I've gone instead for telling my own teens that if they're all out at a festival or whatever and Trans Teen is pissed has an emergency and is unconscious, they must tell the medics to treat TT as female, to avoid actual disaster with bloods or dosages.

Only with people I know & trust. Never at work - my own organisation is fine but a large part of my job is managing partnerships with the local council & NHS and everyone is pronouns in email

@Musomama1 I'm retired so I was pretty free with my GC opinions. It all blew up on a FB chat group I was in. So I'm careful what I say and where online.
In real life I sometimes raise the issue with fellow old wrecks if there is something in the news. Sport works best on my age group, especially the men. A photo of Lia Thomas is worth an 8,000 word essay.

Seconding finding your local Women's Rights Network. I joined my local one just a couple of weeks ago and feel so much less alone already.

I talk about it carefully. I have lost a good friend by being very open about it so now take my time to suss things out. I think I peaked someone last night

Thank you for all your replies- i knew I’d find people in the same boat here! This board has been a total education for me. I have considered joining a woman’s group - my local one has been doing amazing things and I’d love to be part of it even in a small way. I think I need it to to keep myself sane and continue the education!
Out of interest to those who have gotten through to others - what was the nugget that convinced them or was it a drip drip effect?

I only talk about it with very good friends who feel the same as me. I would NEVER discuss it at work, there is no point and the only person who would lose out would be me. So far I've managed to avoid putting my pronouns on anything which I hope sends a subtle message. But I work in a culture that is so TWAW and "inclusive" that being GC would basically be my resignation letter.
I mentioned it (not at work) to someone a couple of years ago and was really shocked at how accusatory the response was. Since then I have been exceptionally careful.
My DCs aren't in the kind of crowd where this is an issue. Other friend's kids are. The contagion element is frightening, as is the ND / autism link.

I would never comment on Twitter or FB posts, much as I want to, as I fear I would get destroyed.

Reading that back it's sad and a little scary. At least I know that my lovely sensible close friends haven't drunk the Kool-aid which is something I suppose.

I've been trying for months and getting nowhere tbh.

I think for me it was the drip, drip effect that helped, he ran out of defence for the articles I would post.
Didn't believe alot of it to be true at first as the BBC weren't printing it.. I must say though he would ignore alot of it, very stubborn, I realised how deep he was into it, we did fall out initially and don't speak about it much anymore.
Some people will be so deeply entrenched in it.
Probably just better with the drip, drip for them.

same here MusoMama

I talk about this quite a bit IRL & have peaked quite a few family & friends over the years. I've also been to see my MP and have conversations with my local councillors about how they're going to protect single sex spaces and otherwise protect women's rights. There are also several of us who post here who also post on another (yellow) messageboard and fight the GC cause over there from time to time despite lots of #bekind pressure.

Work is a bit different. I work in HE where pronouns are everywhere and so I have conversations as and when, and usually people will mutter quiet agreement on a 1:1 basis. I think there are quite a few of us GC women (and men, to be fair) scattered through the sector flying under the radar, as well as those who are openly GC.

I have tentatively brought this up with a few family members, friends and a colleague.

Most of them hadn’t given the subject much thought, but not one person disagreed with me. The forthright young woman who has a trans nephew didn’t disagree with me. The trade union guy who used to work for an LGBT charity ended up saying, “you’re right.”

So much for the Twitter narrative that if GC women share their views, their family and friends will disown them.

I’ve found comedy a good way of getting through to people- the Ricky Gervais stand up was a gift! Sport is also a good one as so visual. Then that opens their eyes to everything else. Although some people get it and don’t care!

I'm as Terfy AF everywhere IRL, I started taking about it about 5 years ago. I've not met anyone who disagrees with me yet. I know a few people who have had very negative reactions from young female family members.

You are not going mad, you have been lied to and gaslit so it's hardly surprising you might question your sanity.

I stopped reading the Guardian and trusting the BBC. I'm much more open minded about where I get my news now and read from a wider variety of perspectives. I feel much better informed than I did when I relied on news sources which aligned with my own political bias.

Yes. This past year has really opened the conversation up with many different people. Not work as it is not relevant for my line of work. But friends, family and neighbours across two different countries.

I have not found one person, except teenagers, who prioritise male's needs over female's needs. I have had two, just two, tell me that even though they believe that females's needs should be prioritised over males, that it must be very hard for those males. But they still agreed that females need single sex spaces, sports and that children should not be on medicalised treatments that are experimental. Everyone else never wavered.

Once people understand that over 85% of males retain their penises, the answers are very quick. And then they think about it and realise it doesn't actually matter whether they are surgically altered males vs non-surgically altered males.

Nearly everyone agrees that Trans rights are human rights. Nearly everyone agrees that trans people need protections in law.

I am 'out' and have been forever because I don't really do duplicity. Or masks, or whatever. It has felt nerve-wracking at times, especially in a public sector sort of a job where woke rules and people get sacked for these beliefs. But I have rung the alarm bell on this with just about everyone I have ever known well enough to discuss it. I feel I have a duty to.

I should add that I reached peak trans about 5 years ago.

I think until Maya and Allison Bailey’s court cases, we were pretty much silenced, even on line. Now we are beginning to realise as the court cases pile up that we do have a voice and rights to speak in public, more GC people will come out of the closet. The more brave women who speak up in every day life the more other women will join them if they don’t feel out on a limb. Courage speaks to courage .

Only with people I know & trust. Never at work

Same for me. Low-risk situations only. I work at a university, so definitely not. Thankfully it's not especially on the agenda in the way it has been in some UK universities but it's probably only a matter of time.

I'm very careful on Twitter. No comments, a few surreptitious likes.

It sounds as if you are similar in outlook to me. I have tentatively broached the subject with a few people at work who I suspected might be GC leaning and that was fine. They aren't that het up about it but just matter of fact.
However I had one younger colleague get immediately enraged when I asked what she thought about JK Rowling, who was on the front page that day. I'm very cautious now.
Two years ago I couldn't speak to two of my children about it as one just got very angry and the other was busy saying she was non-binary and asking me to buy her a binder. The third agreed with me. Now the third has a trans friend and has switched, the eldest has gone quiet on the subject and the other one seems to have come back to reality.
I'm on Twitter following and liking and re-tweeting GC accounts but anonymously.
I like and follow on Facebook but pretty quietly.

Rather than giving your opinion up front, ask questions. Find out what they think and gently probe, make them explain what they mean and how they reached that conclusion. Helen Joyce said in an interview something to the effect of you can't reason someone out of a position that they didn't reason themselves into. People who say TWAW, Be Kind etc. often haven't really thought about what that actually means, or the implications of it. Asking questions can help them unpick it.

Read up on the issue that might resonate most with a particular friend or relative e.g., GIDS or those mad RSE lessons with those with young kids, sports with sporty types etc.

I recommend reading Trans by Helen Joyce and The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt.

Never at work and never on FB. I've seen what happened to a female academic in my FB feed who expressed sympathy with Kathleen Stock. It wasn't pretty. Though I was surprised that she seemed surprised at the reaction.

I'm used to being as apolitical as I can at work. I'm not there to judge my patients or my colleagues. I feel like I see a wide range of personalities, opinions and influences and I'm not there to express my own. All the more now I'm 25-30 years older than many of my colleagues. I just keep my counsel.

I've talked in small groups and 1:1. And in particular with women in political parties and organisations that have been entirely taken over, in much the way that the ERG took over the Tories, with a single anti-woman viewpoint. I'm old. I've seen misogyny all my life and I know it when I see it.

And don’t understand how women especially women who have education and work at university actually believe this utter fairy tales

and bow down before the gender stuff. What happened to them ?

i dont have friends or family really who have been to university. We are just ordinary people

do you think it is just a class thing ?

No I work in the public sector. I can't. I'd lose my job. I just grin and nod.

Ironically I'm a LGBT champion in the workplace and genuinely am a supporter