Concept of ‘exclusively same sex attracted’

[aseriesofstillimages]

I have seen various people on this forum say that to be gay or a lesbian is to be ‘exclusively same sex attracted’, and that therefore, for example, a woman who is attracted to or in a relationship with a trans woman cannot correctly describe herself as a lesbian.

Setting aside the problems with presuming to correct another person’s understanding of their own identity, I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable. If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?

But this is all implying that women who aren’t lesbians have less right to say an absolute ‘no’, or that their bodies should be available to any man?

No, it's not - what an odd inference to make.

No. Keeping males out the lesbian bar is my solution.

But all of this discussion about trans women feels like a distraction from the real issue, which is about the unacceptable behaviour of individuals.

The unacceptable behaviour of individuals to a large extent exists within a social context.
The context for lesbians is surely that males should know that it's one of those few areas which is simply not for them. As with womens sport etc, transactivism and genderism has allowed and even encouraged males to indulge in what many women find to be utterly 'unacceptable behaviour'.

FROM THE OP: 'Setting aside the problems with presuming to correct another person’s understanding of their own identity, I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable.'

To flip this, try asking your husbands/male partners if they were on a desert island, would they, for example, want to make love with Caitlyn Jenner??? Would they crave being intimate with any other well known Transwomen?

Are straight men being accused of 'restricting their dating pool' or 'being absolutist'?

Women can spot men at 50 yards, it's how we survived and evolved as a species. Nobody on this thread has tackled the simple fact of same sex attraction - I think Virginia Woolf wrote something along the lines that the remarkable thing about Sapphics was that they really LOVE women. We physically crave and love women in the way that straight women must love every physical aspect of a man - the smell of his skin, the sound of his voice. We all make love with our five senses - for lesbians to be accused of 'absolutism' is ridiculous -

After my first night with a woman I was in awe and almost jealous of straight men - I thought, 'They get to have this experience, to be able to be with a woman, just like that'....whilst I had gone through years of struggle and disgusting attempts at being with men to get to that first blissful night.

As everyone on this thread is terribly cautious, I'll say the hard bit out loud - to a lesbian, men are physically repulsive. If they weren't, I'd have loved to have been straight, happily married etc etc. Instead I've led a very different life - and now happily married to a woman, I still shudder with disgust at memories of the truly dreadful physical relationships that I had with men, before I came out.

So we have two choices as lesbians in our dating lives - to be

a) Repulsed. Revolted. Disgusted.
OR
b) Delighted, entranced, sensually ecstatic.

For the sake of someone's 'identity' young lesbians are supposed to choose a)???

If a man who suffers from gender dysphoria deserves all our sympathy - as he undergoes changes to make his life more bearable, he is still a biological man - under the clothing and despite any surgery (which I understand that 90% do not go ahead with).

We are not 'assuming to correct' anyone's 'identity' - we have, as teenagers or young women, come into our own identity - as same sex attracted. To endure the whole coming out/first loves/having to come out over and over/finally be allowed to marry --- and then at the end of all this, be told that we were mistaken, and we should have found men's bodies attractive in the first place - if only we would 'set aside our presumptions'....

You cannot set aside physical revulsion.
A biological man - no matter what his 'identity' or the investment he has made in dealing with his dysphoria - can never, ever, taste, feel, sound or smell like a woman. Ask your straight boyfriends & husbands....

Our senses cannot be obliterated to assist with a man's psychological problems.

Yes, and decent men would defend you against intruders too (without invading those spaces themselves).

Obviously the first is not ok, but the second is fine, as long as it’s done respectfully and with regard for boundaries.

If a male pesters a woman who has made it clear that she is a lesbian, that male has no regard for boundaries.

Only if you are determined to read artichokes post with a bad faith interpretation.

Well, the evidence is every one of OP's posts. Decide for yourself.

yes, I agree it is distressing and unpleasant and shouldn’t happen

Then stop saying it's ok for males to do this to lesbians. Being a lesbian isn't a validation club for males to join.

How about ‘no thanks’. Or, ‘no thanks, i’m not attracted to you’. Or even ‘no thanks, i’m not attracted to trans women’.

"No thanks, I don't do men, I'm a lesbian." Succinct and allows the male person of whatever gender identity to find someone suitable.

All of this. ^^

Then look at the rhetoric coming from TQ+ male people.

About lesbians 'selfishly prioritising their own orgasms' (instead of sexually servicing male people who would like to identify as lesbians and have sex with female homosexuals)
That lesbians should 'learn to cope' (with sex with males who would like to identify as lesbians and have sex with female homosexuals)
That lesbians should overcome their genital fetish (and provide sex to male people who would like to identify as lesbians and have sex with female homosexuals)

This is rapey, incel based, extremist misogyny. That views females as having no right enjoying sex, or looking for reciprocation or even basic consent in sex, that views females as having no right to say no to access to their body when a male feels they need to make use of it. That views female homosexuality as an unacceptable boundary to male people getting their needs met.

If you are busy enabling this - on a women's rights board - I really have to wonder what you think you're doing and how you sleep at night.

Yes @macj1 the logically unsustainable shows exactly what the OP is trying to do and what they are trying to do is repellent and homophobic.

Leave lesbians and gay men alone, they do not need to explain, justify or apologise for their same sex attraction, to demand they do so is regressive homophobic bullshit.

I'm curious as to how often a trans woman is actually attracted and subsequently sexually active with another trans woman, you know, given that it apparently doesn't "matter" that they both have penises.....

Indeed ClaryFairchild if a TW believes TWAW what's the issue?

Hear, hear 👏

Thanks - I thought my post would get taken down - for saying the quiet part out loud. For the love that (today) cannot speak its name.

This regressive nonsense. I wonder about the OP's experience with women/men and how she can post this question after enjoying even one night with a woman.

I've always been far to o polite to straight men who ask me the stupid 'how come you're a lesbian' question.

I've never told a single straight man the total truth.

We've been tactful for far too long. They've driven a coach and horses through tact. They need to be told simply, loud and clear.

The thought of a man's body is physically repulsive and disgusting to a lesbian. Every single thing about it. Just generates a shudder.

But to wake up with a woman - my wife now - that's just a daily intense blissful delight.

They never use that kind of language - it's all esoteric and academic. As though they make love with a text book or just with themselves, at a screen.....

I have a wonderful female partner, who I’ve been with for many years. Before her, I had a lovely boyfriend for several years, who I was also very attracted to. We were never able to have penetrative sex because of physiological issues of mine, and he was always entirely understanding and respectful of that. So no, I can’t understand what it’s like to be repulsed by men’s bodies. I’m not sure that many of the lesbians I know feel that strongly. And I’m assuming you mean just in a sexual context? I’m sure the lesbians I know who have sons aren’t repulsed by their bodies.

So no, I can’t understand what it’s like to be repulsed by men’s bodies

Yes, you're bisexual. As you make clear. Bisexual is the term for someone attracted to both sexes. Unlike straight, gay or lesbian.

So no, I can’t understand what it’s like to be repulsed by men’s bodies.

This would be because you are bi then and not homosexual. You are not exclusively same sex attracted. Your sexuality is different to women trying to talk to you here.

Which is why they need their word and their own term for it to avoid this ridiculous confusion and reframing which leads directly to pressure on them to stop being homosexual and move towards sexual accessibility to males.

I’m not sure that many of the lesbians I know feel that strongly.

Evidently some do though don't they? Since they're here telling you. Are you implying that exclusive homosexuality/inability to be aroused or at all attracted to male bodies is odd and wrong? Isn't that just flat out homophobia?

And I’m assuming you mean just in a sexual context? I’m sure the lesbians I know who have sons aren’t repulsed by their bodies.

...........you what? Are you serious?

Why do you keep projecting your bisexual orientation on to people who are exclusively same or opposite sex attracted?

Is this thread basically all because the OP is bisexual (which for the avoidance of doubt is absolute fine, obviously) but with a curious inability to understand that other people are different? Exclusive same-sex attraction exists. So does exclusive opposite sex attraction. What is there to 'understand'? Just accept that's other people's reality.

Sorry Artichoke cross posted, post was for OP.

29 pages and still some people insist that lesbians can like cock as much as fannies.

And I’m assuming you mean just in a sexual context? I’m sure the lesbians I know who have sons aren’t repulsed by their bodies.

WTF. This thread is entirely absurd. What woman thinks this way?

Obviously this is going to go to 1k.

Why do you think you can negotiate with people what feelings they are allowed to have about people they aren't attracted to, because they are exclusively attracted to the opposite sex to those people?