DDs nursery asking for donations to Mermaids

[AnonGCMum]

(Regular reader and occasional poster, have name changed for this)

Next week the nursery my two DDs attend (age 2 and 4) are going to be making cakes to sell in aid of Mermaids. As well as bringing in money to buy the cakes we’re
being asked to donate the ingredients.

I don’t want any of my money going to Mermaids. If it was just my 2yo I’d pretend to forget about it, but my 4yo has already reminded me twice. I’m not sure ‘forgetting’ will work with her.

I’ll also a bit concerned about what they might be teaching the children. They put a few photos up on an app each day so we can see what they’re doing and yesterday the update for my 2year old’s class included a picture of a handwritten display about the pride flag including the words “pink=trans joy”. I’m trying not to be pearl-clutchy about it and I’m fine with them learning things like ‘some people have two mummies’ but trans joy and Mermaids? At 2 and 4?!

Would you say something? Should I? I’m not brave about speaking up on these things. I’ll probably just leave my purse at home next week and ignore the rest, but what would you do?

www.tnlcommunityfund.org.uk/news/press-releases/2019-02-19/outcome-of-review-of-proposed-mermaids-grant
This says lottery funds were not removed

Are there other mums/parents there who you are friendly enough with to see whether they agree? Might be easier to do if there’s a group of you.

Otherwise I’d be taking them out of nursery that day and I would email and explain why. I would plan to move youngest dd unless that would be unduly upsetting for her.

As for your DH he’ll have no problem with DD’s biologically male boyfriend staying in their room overnight as long as they identify as a girl?

I support people who are transgender as part of my job I understand a lot of the struggles they go through ect.

However it is not something we need to push or "advertise" especially not to young children. The concepts of mermaids to a young child sounds appealing because mermaids are a beloved character to most, so i imagine the children do not understand what they are fundraising for or being taught. I'm sorry but my 3 year old isn't entirely convinced he is human and not a dog so the thought of teaching him about somebody changing gender is baffling!

Maybe something like nspcc or barnardos of even food banks would be a more suited fundraiser for children this young.

So I guess that long waffle was to just say as somebody who supports transgender people i don't understand why this would be a suitable fundraiser for young children.

I’d remove my children and let the nursery know why.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I think I need to talk to DH about it some more. I just need to wait until he’s in the right mood.

It doesn’t help that DH has swallowed the TWAW koolaid and implied he thinks I’m bigoted for having an issue with any of it

Simple then. Tell him to sort it. Job done.

Well, either someone braver than me complained or the nursery manager read this thread or something because just now - as in half ten at night - there’s been a post on the nursery’s app to say they will no longer be supporting Mermaids. They will be raising money for a charity called Allsorts instead. I’m not totally convinced that that’s the best charity they could be supporting, but at least Allsorts say on their website that being gender non conforming doesn’t make someone trans, and they neither encourage nor discourage medical transition. Certainly not as bad as the ‘surgery at 16 and hormones for all’ tone of Mermaids!

I thought Allsorts were the ones who did really dodgy stuff for schools ? Might be wrong .
Why on earth don’t they support an underfunded local children’s charity, the local food bank, or something for children with disabilities? Disability is less trendy I imagine. Trans charities are totally inappropriate for nursery children. This is an adult agenda.

No i don't think Allsorts is hugely better though I can't see a break down of the issues on the SSAUK website.

I feel I'm scraping the barrel when I say at least the whole charity isn't directly about trans ing children.

There definitely has been issues with allsorts at some point.

These nurseries honestly think they need to do all this ridiculous point scoring for Ofsted.

Their priority is keeping children safe!

Allsorts??? Dear God no! They were the outfit who thought the sex dice game suitable for classes of 13 year olds and up. I can't bring myself to describe it. Suffice to say if it belongs anywhere, it's at an adult sex party.

These nursery people have a seriously skewed sense of judgement.

Why on earth don’t they support an underfunded local children’s charity, the local food bank, or something for children with disabilities? Disability is less trendy I imagine. Trans charities are totally inappropriate for nursery children. This is an adult agenda.

Well, quite.
DDs primary school, which included a nursery, used to mainly support a local children's hospice.

I'd still take little ones. All sorts and Mermaids are much of a muchness

Yeah, that's what I reckon too.

Oh lord, the dice thing was Allsorts? I remember that. I think they were also the organisation that had ‘youth’ groups for anyone under 25. At least I see they’ve now divided them into 11-15yo and 16-25yo it’s not quite as dodgy. Hmm, I’m scraping the barrel here!

WTF is a trans child?

Wtf couldn't they pick a charity that has nothing to do with trans.

It really makes you wonder what goes on in people's heads.

Are there any children with SEND in the nursery? You might Google the local Amaze-ing charities that do work in that area, A good question to ask is what they did for Disability month just gone. I am Amaze-d they didn’t do something similar or maybe it was a Whoospadaisy that they clean forgot!

What on earth is a nursery doing raising money for a charity that supports older children? The whole thing is bizarre.

The obsession with supporting diversity charities is crazy.

Maybe you should try pointing out that Allsorts is just as inappropriate, and suggest maybe fundraising for a food bank.

It might be worth revisiting things with your dh though, things have changed a lot over the past few years.

Oh yes ! They were the ones with the dice game ! Definitely bring that up, it was really shocking. I would make it very clear to the nursery how inappropriate that is .

Wasn't the Dice Game the Proud Trust, or did Allsorts do one too?

Why can’t they raise money for the local food bank or something? Why do they have to go out of their way to support charities that don’t understand what is age appropriate?

I would get this printed onto icing, put it on a cake and bring it in.

Allsorts wrote those really elderly "School toolkits" (many now withdrawn) and are no better than Mermaids. Though I think they are Brighton-based.

But OP think what this means - other nursery parents have complained about Mermaids. You just need to find and link up with them!

Suggest sweetly that if they want something local, how about rockinghorse (fundraises for the children's hospital)?

www.rockinghorse.org.uk/