How is this offensive?

[KnittingNeedles]

DD is 19 and volunteers in Oxfam. This poster is currently in the window of the store she works in - it was a Pride thing but she thinks they have just not got round to taking it out.

www.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam-in-action/oxfam-blog/celebrating-pride-2022/

The way she - and I - interpret the poster is that the charity is welcoming and inclusive, and however you define yourself, you are welcome in store. Although I know the charity has a reputation for being very "woke", this is a very bland message really.

DD was on the till yesterday and some woman came into the store demanding she remove the poster. DD asked why - woman said it was "forced speech" and a "very political statement" and ranted on about Stonewall for a bit. DD is fairly clued up on the whole sex/gender debate and tried to explain that's not what it was about, it was a message of tolerance and acceptance. Customer was having none of it and went off saying she was going to complain.

I'm confused. I'm as gender critical as they come but surely part of that is accepting that although I don't personally buy into gender other people do, and I respect their right to hold that opinion, just as I hope they respect my right to disagree with them. And that however you define yourself, of course you should be treated with respect in any shop. No I won't be giving you my pronouns as those should be blindingly obvious, but the poster isn't saying you won't be served without sharing yours.

Bemused.

I'm as gender critical as they come but

Riiiiiiight

I'm as gender critical as they come

An oddly popular phrase among bewildered question askers on this board.

She shouldn't have ranted at your daughter.

It feels like people are very on edge at the moment and maybe she was triggered by a wealthy charity meant to support the most vulnerable in society wasting money pontificating about pronouns? ?

The poster is not very inclusive, they'll need a much bigger one for all the neo pronouns.

<Wonders off to think about why sexuality and gender identity are the focus of a campaign to tackle poverty but sex, specifically being female, doesn't get a mention.>

The only person who really knows is the woman, if indeed she exists. I'm not sure why we're being called on to fill in the blanks.

I'm not bewildered though.

I am completely against a lot of the trans ideology and don't believe people can change sex. I don't "state my pronouns" and have never been asked to do. I am totally on board with the idea that gender is basically just stereotypes and hugely discriminatory against women.

But on the other hand, I don't think that sending out a "all welcome" message is so awful. I mean, I think gender is a load of nonsense, but if other people are totally on board with that I respect their opinion and wouldn't see it as my job to "educate" them. Women are often accused of being "anti-trans" and that's not the case - I certainly think that everyone should live as they please and if they want to refer to themselves as he/she/them or whatever crack on. Just don't expect me to do likewise.

I agree. making a big fuss about pronouns detracts from the more important bits of the GC message about single-sex spaces and changes to the law.

How do we even know this hypothetical woman was GC?

And I totally accept that pronouns has nothing to do with the aims of the charity. But so many high street stores changed their logo or had pride posters up.

I see no reason for DD to lie. Perhaps she wasn't gender critical - who knows. But that's certainly the impression DD got from it all.

Sure is a chin scratcher, yes indeedy.

Honestly you can't pay people like that too much mind - you can't argue with stupid as they say.

Other than GCs and TRAs nobody even understands what this they/them stuff is all about. So if somebody objects to it, they’re most probably GC.

Actually I was passing an Oxfam shop and saw the poster in question. I didn’t go in an complain, but it made me feel unwelcome. Feed that back.

Surely if they're welcoming everyone a quick 'Everyone welcome' is all that's needed on a poster.

Yet another reason to take the new Oxfam with a pinch of salt. Presumably the starving millions are more concerned with putting food in the their bellies than worrying about misgendering. Oxfam, on thé other hand……

No one here can answer on behalf of the woman in the shop.

As a general rule, people who rant at young (often female) shop assistants about issues that are not to do with a customer transaction are being unreasonable. Decisions about shop displays are made by managers or instructed from central management. But you must surely already know that.

Surely by now the shop should have taken this pister down and should now be displaying a disability pride poster - given that it’s Disability Pride Month.

Maybe your daughter can ask when that poster is going up? I’m sure they do have a poster to put up, they just “haven’t got round” to putting it up yet.

This sounds very odd. I am sorry your DD had to put up with an abusive woman at the till .. and let that woman complain. Like most GC people I have no problem with inclusive except when it affects women's rights.

The woman was probably homophobic and / or transphobic but I'm not sure what that has to do with feminism.

@ZaraSizeMedium
Just what I was thinking. The overwhelming outpouring of support, the huge amount of media coverage, the disability pride flag being flown everywhere…

It’s so lovely to see such concern for a group who are being so severely impacted by the cost of living crisis (on top of the well-documented extra costs of simply existing as a disabled person - on average £583pcm for an adult in 2019).

All the social media engagement from police forces about their commitment to reducing disability hate crime has been so reassuring. Obviously they have to prioritise chastising women for being “untoward about paedophiles” but if they can get around to investigating disabled people being violently assaulted after that I’m sure everyone would be very appreciative.

Frankly it’s a bit embarrassing the way people won’t shut up about July being Disability Pride Month. It’s getting so commercialised, all the brands producing merchandise & sticking the flag up… The only good thing is how focused the NHS has been on the needs of disabled people. Really centring them this month.

Frankly all this celebrating & centring disabled people has been exhausting as well as exhaustive. I’m almost relieved it’s nearly over for another year…

I'm bisexual and gender critical and now absolutely loathe the new Pride flag, Pride month and anything to do with bloody Pride. I actively avoid shops and organisations that display the flag or poster and long for the day when corporations don't feel the need to display their woke credentials.

Pride is now essentially synonymous with Queer Theory and transactivism. Pride does not represent me, nor many others who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Instead it pushes kink and pronouns.

So I can understand anyone criticising an Oxfam poster on this basis. They need to focus on their charitable aim and stop with the virtue-signalling.

I've recently donated to Oxfam. I'm not sure how happy I am with them spending the money I give them on the design and printing of thousands of LGBTABCDEFG... posters for shops up and down the country when it could be going towards what is meant to be their actual cause.

I stopped donating to Oxfam after this:

Oxfam, one of the UK's biggest charities, has dominated the headlines in recent weeks following allegations its staff hired prostitutes while working overseas.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43112200.amp

The grammar is a bit wonky

This charity is for him - fine
This charity is for her - fine
This charity is for them - fine

This charity is for they - ?

(sorry)