How is this offensive?

[KnittingNeedles]

DD is 19 and volunteers in Oxfam. This poster is currently in the window of the store she works in - it was a Pride thing but she thinks they have just not got round to taking it out.

www.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam-in-action/oxfam-blog/celebrating-pride-2022/

The way she - and I - interpret the poster is that the charity is welcoming and inclusive, and however you define yourself, you are welcome in store. Although I know the charity has a reputation for being very "woke", this is a very bland message really.

DD was on the till yesterday and some woman came into the store demanding she remove the poster. DD asked why - woman said it was "forced speech" and a "very political statement" and ranted on about Stonewall for a bit. DD is fairly clued up on the whole sex/gender debate and tried to explain that's not what it was about, it was a message of tolerance and acceptance. Customer was having none of it and went off saying she was going to complain.

I'm confused. I'm as gender critical as they come but surely part of that is accepting that although I don't personally buy into gender other people do, and I respect their right to hold that opinion, just as I hope they respect my right to disagree with them. And that however you define yourself, of course you should be treated with respect in any shop. No I won't be giving you my pronouns as those should be blindingly obvious, but the poster isn't saying you won't be served without sharing yours.

Bemused.

You’re not confused though are you.

Oh lovely, some more wide eyed disingenuousness. We haven’t had any of that in forever.

Yup - the poster is offensive to those who value the grammar of the English language.
Otherwise, a waste of money that probably doesn't serve their charitable objectives.

I had to get my computer to open that link in an incognito window it wouldn't open otherwise, mm spooky.

I'm guessing Oxfam has posters up for disability inclusiveness and awareness or how about International Women's Day they must put a poster up for that surely, I mean they know all about women especially when their aid workers and high profile people in the upper echelons are looking for ones to sexually abuse.

and this:

You’re not confused though are you.

Knock off the disingenuous bullshit we can see through it a mile off.

Me too. The whole pronouns thing sold as if it welcomes everyone (including women). Pah .

But they had blotted their copy books with me ages ago. Even DH refuses to go in there (he used to get their calendars and coffee) after the whole sex for aid/pedophilia thing was exposed a few years back.

Most if the stores have taken that particular poster down - but not replaced it with a disability awareness one I noticed. So many other better charities.

yes I agree. I understand where OP is coming from but it does upset me too. I mean not to the extent that I'd go in and rant at a volunteer but to the extent that I'd feel sad and less likely to go in.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt OP the reason it's upsetting is like emotionally if something really valuable and important was stolen by a bully, say like the terrific mountain bike you got for your 14th birthday and you were walking through town and saw the bully with your bike wearing a t-shirt that said "this bike is mine now", you might feel sad and not say anything another person might go up and yell at his parents (who believe the bike has always been his and therefore think shes being crazy).

It may be the case with this woman or she could just be a member of one of the many homophobic churches who just sees rainbows as encouraging immorality - I'm afraid we don't have enough info to go on to be sure.

i don’t think she should have been shouting at your daughter but to me that poster is an intrusion that has no place in the shop. It seems to be making the shop all about Western ‘Pride’, specifically the people in the poster and Oxfam’s view of itself - nothing about the people it is for. Of all the pronouns listed what it is saying is “Me, me, me.”

Also it was not welcoming all customers - for that you only need three words, “All are welcome”.

Far from it. To me it says, “We here at Oxfam believe in trans gender ideology and make that the centre of our focus ( that’s why we are listing pronouns). Aren’t we great! Too bad if you aren’t one of us.”

i don’t think the little girls around the world being married off/sold could identify out of their fates etc Or the starving people care about what pronouns they have.

Since Oxfam stopped selling a game for girls based on ‘famous women” as Oxfam staff didn’t like because it didn’t include transwomen, I have avoided Oxfam. I wrote politely, to say the game was for little girls to have role models so they could aspire to be more than sexual objects for men and bearers of children, but they couldn’t bear that men would be excluded.

I like my local shop but stopped my monthly dd ages ago because of the aforementioned prostitutes /paedophile scandal and the way they handled it. They have since clearly decided that gender ideology is a good look for them and I guess as they struggle to condemn misogyny and child abuse, it is (I'm referring to hard-line gender ideology, not trans people, many of whom do not support it).

There are tonnes of smaller charities doing similar work who aren't into misogyny /child abuse. There are threads on here should anyone be looking for one to donate to. I'm actually hesitant to recommend the one I donate to as they're tiny and a TRA pile on would be unfair.

Since Oxfam stopped selling a game for girls based on ‘famous women” as Oxfam staff didn’t like because it didn’t include transwomen, I have avoided Oxfam. I wrote politely, to say the game was for little girls to have role models so they could aspire to be more than sexual objects for men and bearers of children, but they couldn’t bear that men would be excluded.

I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot barge pole after the revelations regarding the sexual abuse of women and girls by their aid workers and this just adds the proverbial cherry on the top of how misogynistic they are.

Mmm, what a totally great story

I am as convinced as they come

That's a good point.

Why isn't Oxfam supporting people with disabilities, who face obstacles many times worse than hearing someone use a pronoun they don't like? Why in fact, is Oxfam discriminating against people with disabilities, by ignoring their pride month while leaving up posters celebrating the gender identity movement?

Aren't disabilities interesting enough?

the reason it's upsetting is like emotionally if something really valuable and important was stolen by a bully, say like the terrific mountain bike you got for your 14th birthday and you were walking through town and saw the bully with your bike wearing a t-shirt that said "this bike is mine now"

Really good analogy, Toaster, thanks.

GI is a homophibic and sexist ideology so I don't feel welcomed when they support support ideology which ties your identity to your body and offers a very limited number of identity choices.

@KnittingNeedles I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that some people have an in built need to hate something, and on this occasion the woman who came into the shop had decided they hate an innocuous poster.

Utterly confusing.

Oddly enough, I haven't seen a single Disability Pride event, flag, poster, social media message.

Well in my opinion the poster is tedious wokery, but I wouldn't bother ranting about it. I'd just roll my eyes and move past it.

The ranty woman was probably having a bad day.

Oxfam have proven many times they don't give a fuck about women. So the poster is no surprise.

the very worst thing about my local Oxfam shop is that they sort the clothes by colour not size

BY COLOUR

how does that help anyone?

I could possibly work up to a mild rant about that on a bad day...

Sorry but that made me 😆. Dad had a lot of books - and I’m talking hundreds and hundreds, loads of topics (he was an absolute bookworm who loved science, arts, history…). One day mum was bored so went into his library and reordered all his books by spine colour and size. 🤣

she did the horror honour of rearranging by shade and size......

That is not bored that is a little cross at finding the toilet seat left up .....
again.....

Not to derail but that's like sorting Lego by colour instead of shape!

My daughter and I spotted that poster last week (yes mid July) she likes to hunt for clothes in charity shops. We'd never been in before, we saw that poster raised our eyebrows and walked out. That poster says Oxfam believes in gender identity ideology. That usually means they don't give a damn about women.

This^^

And this ^^

We recognise LGBTQIA+ Pride month as a time to celebrate inclusiveness (one of Oxfam’s core values). To stand in solidarity. And to celebrate with our local LGBTQIA+ communities. As part of this, we want to celebrate our shops as safe spaces for all our staff, volunteers, and customers to be their authentic selves, no matter their sexuality, gender identity or gender expression.

Our local offices and shop teams in Oxford also celebrated at their local Pride event, Oxford Pride Day, on Saturday 4 June 2022. Colleagues, volunteers, and their family members marched in solidarity with the Oxford LGBTQIA+ community. They also held a market stall, supported by our Oxford Superstore. To raise money and awareness of volunteering opportunities.

Just call it thE LGBTQIA+ shop.

It is so offensive in its hijacking, and gibberish too basically.

Thanks for highlighting. This is making me think to give oxfam a swerve in making donations in the future.