I am embracing virtue signalling pronouns in emails

[MsFogi]

I have realised I have made too many assumptions about gender over the years. I had always assumed that Paul (name changed of course) in my company was a man simply on the basis of his appearance (well over 6 foot, well built, big beard, low voice that only someone with an Adam's apple and whose balls have dropped could have). Imagine my relief to find that I have not been misgendering him for over a decade because he has helpfully added his pronouns to his email auto signature - they are he/him/his. There is no company diktat to add pronouns on emails so clearly this is important to Paul or maybe he has been misgendered recently.

So, I thought I would ensure that Paul was not offended on a Teams meeting this afternoon and kicked off the meeting by asking everyone to note that Paul's pronouns are he/him/his and that given that he has stated these that everyone please be sensitive to ensuring that they use them. No one said anything so I think they all took it on board, no one misgendered Paul and I like to think that his move to include his pronouns at work has been embraced in my meeting. Maybe as a result others that attended the meeting will add theirs to their auto signatures too.

I couldn't agree more with @Kanaloa and @aseriesofstillimages posts.

I think the pronouns nonsense is exactly that, and adding them to emails ridiculous (and work in a university where this is encouraged).

However, this is poor performance by someone in authority, as OP is here, to mock someone in front of colleagues, as
OP undoubtedly has done, in the name of making a point, regardless of the validity of that point.

How did work even get done before folxxxxx knew Paul was a he/him? Thank god you got that cleared up. Hopefully next week we'll find out about Felicity in Human Resources.

But we’re talking about a scenario where the staff member has always worked Mondays to Thursdays, it’s not a new thing, but the person has just decided it might be helpful to include it in their email signature. Let’s say others in the team work part time, but no one else includes their working pattern in their email signature.

The team leader is specifically saying to the team: “please note this person has stated in their email signature that they work Monday to Thursday. It is clearly very important to them that you are all aware that they work Monday to Thursday’.

That would be quite weird wouldn’t it?

No, I don't think so. I'd assume the person who'd added the info did so because some colleagues didn't know and it was causing problems, so having this helpful info mentioned in a meeting would also be helpful.

Well, now you're changing the parameters. I naturally assumed it was a new thing that the other team members should have their attention drawn to. Just like Paul's pronouns. No song and dance just AOB.

This 😂

I don’t think Paul’s pronouns were new were they, he had always been he? It was only him stating them in his email signature which was new.

So we're in agreement. I'm off to bed now. I hate to post and run but I'm up early tomorrow....today

Not being sarky, you seem nice

Says who?

Oh won’t someone think of a man’s Feelings! <wrings hands>

We all know this game isn’t for you, middle aged witch women; only for the Young and Special. We know Heresy is in your hearts, no matter how straight your faces.

Anyway, you’re meant to Know that it’s all just fashionable virtue signalling nonsense when a “cis” person does it, and just tacitly ignore it and say nothing, I mean, you can’t misgender the cis people anyway. The magic pronoun spells only ward off Misgendering when they’re used by the Elect. That’s why if the “cis” use them they’re just “showing allyship”, whereas if the Elect use them, they’re a matter of literal life or death, warding off the violence of being Misgendered.

Remember - the sacred pronoun spells aren’t for you old hags to meddle with. Just leave them alone! Or you’ll pollute the sacred words with your evil meddling, and then nobody will believe any more and it will be All Your Fault!

@theclangersarecoming don't forget that we are simultaneously supposed to know who the elect are whilst being told that you can't even tell who the elect are as there is no difference between a common old garden woman and a trans woman. Paul has not confirmed anything as gender, we are told, has no relation to biology. Paul's proclamation is no less important than if Paul had said he was a woman and it is transphobic to suggest otherwise. The posters giving OP a hard time should check their privilege.

Mmmm, that would be a good point if anyone knew any woman called Paul, except informally by the sort of person who shortens everyone's name (and if you have a one-syllable name they add 'y' on the end).

MsFogi, you are my new crush role model.

This is a fabulous funny thread, but as so often there's a serious point behind the humour, and PurgatoryofPotholes has nailed it:

Men like David can afford to remind people of their sex online. It is an assertion of status and a reminder to all that they are the type of human that is treated with respect in the workplace and is NOT sent unsolicited dick pics.

Exactly. For women to remind people that they are, indeed, of the female sex can carry all sorts of not-beneficial effects.

In a male-dominated place of work this can be another tiny reminder of the woman as 'other', the stereotype threat could start functioning, and, perhaps most importantly, given that the pronouns include 'they/them', agreeing to post them does suggest that the person at least doesn't disagree with the idea that an abstract gender identity exists and is the basis for why someone is a woman or a man or neither (or both, depending on the day of the week). Not biological sex, that is.

Also, I wonder why mocking women is acceptable when we are reduced to one bodily function (menstruators, birthers) or one body part (uterus-havers, vagina-owners, individuals with a cervix), but it's not acceptable to make fun of preferred pronouns.

For posters saying this was bullying, rude etc… in one of my old workplaces a male worker came out as a trans woman. They sent an email around, and when we came into a meeting the next week our boss said “oh just to let you all know, Bob is now Emily and her pronouns are she/her. “ Emily was present for this. Was this bullying ? I thought it was useful to know as Emily was very early in their physical transition and still looked as they did when they were Bob.

if the complaint is it’s taking the piss because the guy in the OP’s story is obviously male , then why isn’t the retort that if he’s obviously male then it’s … evident what his pronouns are ? It seems to be slightly trolly and piss taking for an obvious bloke to announce he’s a bloke.

I would find it incredibly useful to know, OP, as it would allow me to better understand Paul and his ideology. There is no better advertisement of membership, and it would guide my interactions (which would obviously be strictly professional).

I understand that there is a huge debate over Trans rights.
However, mental health statistics for those who are trans are shocking, regardless of your beliefs everyone is a person and needs to feel safe.
Pronouns makes absolutely no impact on me. By putting pronouns I am not clarifying gender but that I am welcoming and understanding to all.
Great, so now I've shown I'm open to trans and non-binary people, we can have discussions about the bigger issues
I'm not going to pick a fight over something that has zero impact on me but has a huge impact on someone else.
You don't win in life by invalidating other people, we win when we find ways to get along without eroding peoples safety or needs.
Giving people pronouns doesn't mean trans activists are winning, it means we can have a sensible discussion about what does matter

I've had trans colleagues. I've slipped up. I've said sorry, they've said fine, we both move on. I don't believe a person can change sex but I will afford the respect to anyone out of sheer politeness.

The LGBTQ group have really grabbed the back offices with this pronoun idea (with help from Stonewall) but have failed to gain traction amongst my colleagues on frontline operations. To most of us we just want to get along and be able to work together as a team. Some of us are gay, lesbian or bisexual, but we'd rather talk about what happened on Love Island last night, or the recent heatwave, than stress over pronouns and gender identity. I have never been asked my gender, ever. I don't think I've ever heard my colleagues being asked either.

I like the idea of putting my star sign, my Chinese Zodiac animal, my belief system and my favourite political party on my work emails to make a point but I don't think it'll go down very well with my boss.

We all know this game isn’t for you, middle aged witch women; only for the Young and Special.
That's awfully like tarring us all with the same brush.
I'm a middle aged witch woman too (nice 🙄 ) we don't all think the same.
Age has nothing to do with it.

Oh dear me. Are there ladies frolicking unchaperoned at work meetings again?

Apparently so. I’m sure the monitors will be here presently to tell us why pronouns are the most important thing ever and not using them is literal violence.

I'm sure they'd let middle aged witch women in. They'd love a menopausal woman saying biology doesn't matter. Because they must really hate the fact that only women go through the menopause. We've only just started to get the world to take the menopause seriously and they are desperate to shut that down.

I'm not going to pick a fight over something that has zero impact on me but has a huge impact on someone else.

Zero impact if you are male. Significant impact if you are female, with multiple studies to back it up.

This. You sound very unprofessional and if I were a friend of Paul or somebody in the meeting I'd be making a complaint against you. How nasty and petty. You don't agree with something so you ridicule somebody that does.

I feel almost lucky that my workplace is a misogynistic, non PC, non pandering sausage party.
I don't have to entertain bullshit pronouns from people that are so unique! Just like everyone else! 🙄
Luckily my MD is the kind of guy that would say "what the fuck are you on about? No, we aren't doing that!"
He's great 🙂

You sound very unprofessional and if I were a friend of Paul or somebody in the meeting I'd be making a complaint against you. How nasty and petty. You don't agree with something so you ridicule somebody that does.

I'm not sure how that complaint would go. There was no ridicule in the OP, merely support for Paul's declaration.

Unless you think Paul's declaration is intrinsically ridiculous?