I am embracing virtue signalling pronouns in emails

[MsFogi]

I have realised I have made too many assumptions about gender over the years. I had always assumed that Paul (name changed of course) in my company was a man simply on the basis of his appearance (well over 6 foot, well built, big beard, low voice that only someone with an Adam's apple and whose balls have dropped could have). Imagine my relief to find that I have not been misgendering him for over a decade because he has helpfully added his pronouns to his email auto signature - they are he/him/his. There is no company diktat to add pronouns on emails so clearly this is important to Paul or maybe he has been misgendered recently.

So, I thought I would ensure that Paul was not offended on a Teams meeting this afternoon and kicked off the meeting by asking everyone to note that Paul's pronouns are he/him/his and that given that he has stated these that everyone please be sensitive to ensuring that they use them. No one said anything so I think they all took it on board, no one misgendered Paul and I like to think that his move to include his pronouns at work has been embraced in my meeting. Maybe as a result others that attended the meeting will add theirs to their auto signatures too.

😂😂😂

Sometimes I really love MN.

She didn't do a good thing: she did the right thing.

Along with everything else on here. It's a very serious place and we must make due allowance for every conceivable offence to be taken.

@MisgenderedPaul I’m glad you are here to share your views 😂😂😂

I agree - I've read loads of posts on the site and feel this is one of the nastiest (in terms of how nasty people are being to each other).

Whether you believe the OP would have been obviously taking the piss or not (wasn't there, can't tell), why has it been accepted that the Proper Thing to do with pronoun changes is to individually raise the matter with members of staff, after they've got it wrong?

This is the kind of attitude to staff that constitutes hostile working environment and it's being accepted because People Who Identify As Kind are perpetrating it.

I was assigned commoner status at birth. However I identify as a member of the royal family so I use the title Princess in all my correspondence for the avoidance of doubt. My pronouns are Her Royal Highness. Although it's sometimes hard to be part of this, the most discriminated against minority groups, I'm proud of my identity.

It's great that Paul is supporting the use of one's preferred pronouns in emails, although I'm puzzled as to why this is usually the only aspect of one's identity given recognition and protection in the workplace. My cousin who was assigned British at birth identifies as Italian so he uses the title Signor. This avoids the confusion caused by his sterotypically British name, Kevin Smith and his ginger hair. However, it seems that his colleagues have great difficulty using his title in meetings. If only more people took your attitude OP our society would be so much more inclusive.

Thank you for your posts @Kanaloa. This thread has been incredibly depressing in its inanity, and as someone who's only recently become GC, I'm actually embarrassed to find myself in the company of most people on this thread.
Thanks for your articulate rationality. It's in incredibly short supply on here.

Thanks 😂 I’m just busy dying my hair to be a blue haired wokie at the moment - it will give the school run a shock! Interesting you’ve just moved towards the more GC point of view. Personally I think the more we can do to make that side of things appear the rational and normal viewpoint the better!

Well why are you on it then? Serious question. If you find this thread embarrassing and inane why are you here posting on it? Why not just roll your eyes, hide the thread and move on? Or was the opportunity to scold people too good to miss
there is a thread on AIBU about someone enjoying watching flies die. I think that is horrible. Do I
a) ignore the thread, move on
b) go and give the OP a whole lecture on why they are wrong and evil and the worst person ever
c) think people are weird, hide the thread and move on

Whether you believe the OP would have been obviously taking the piss or not (wasn't there, can't tell),

She says not and I have no reason to doubt her. Do people think no one takes this stuff seriously, is that it? My experience suggests otherwise. Some organisations have compulsory pronoun rounds.

Along with everything else on here. It's a very serious place and we must make due allowance for every conceivable offence to be taken

Quite, unless it's offence against women who want to be called women or mothers rather than a collection of body parts and functions and don't like being called "cis". Then it's fine, go for it, progressive and inclusive.

This. It wasn't funny. Not to me. If it was funny surely the people at the meeting would have been laughing?

I think the trouble is most on here are saying how clever it is because they are in a war against pronouns and this is seen as a minor victory. Trouble is the offensive wasn't directed at the people behind the pronouns movement but at an innocent individual in a position of less power, perhaps unintentionally. That's why some people are saying it wasn't professional. They aren't saying they disagree with the OP's stance on pronouns, just the way the OP went about it.

Meh @Kanaloa , it seems to me that women are venting and having a laugh rebelling against this whole pronoun inanity. They're likely to have in this for a while, and had to rage silently whilst in the fear for their jobs. Like I still do at work

On another note, perhaps it should be a recognized and recommended company policy that your email signature should not contain ideological information. I do not care if people vote Tory, or if they've voted Brexit, nor what side of this particular debate they are on, it's just not appropriate for a workplace imho

Please come back in about 5 years and tell me you still feel the same. Many of us have been following this issue for years, we are weary and battle hardened. We all come to it in the belief that a calm, rational discussion will resolve areas of dispute but it doesn't take very long to realise that we will be hampered in that endeavour by an ideology which demands total capitulation.

We have seen every tactic in the book used to silence and discredit us, "I'm GC but..." just feels like yet another. Many of us simply no longer care about the insults.

Ah but then despite not using them, you must also correct anyone else using the wrong pronouns, and of course ask people politely what pronouns to use, all whilst not using them
Clear?

Please come back in about 5 years and tell me you still feel the same. Many of us have been following this issue for years, we are weary and battle hardened. We all come to it in the belief that a calm, rational discussion will resolve areas of dispute but it doesn't take very long to realise that we will be hampered in that endeavour by an ideology which demands total capitulation.

This. I occasionally kick back and deal with the rampant and overt misogyny by laughing at some of the sillier examples of this ideology in general. Making amusing comments that some people won't approve of is in fact what 95% of the people talking about this on social media do, on all sides. I don't really care what people think about it, or that they think it's the "wrong way" to be a feminist.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

SirYESSir!

You've just discovered that there are two sexes? And are embarassed that people that already knew that there were two sexes find it sardonic that a man called Paul has to put he/him in his email signature to show how dedicated he is to being inclusive of people who don't know there are two sexes?

Many of us simply no longer care about the insults.

I use them to knit a nice jumper for the coming winter months.

Do you have a pattern I could follow? It would be nice to find something useful to do with them.

articulate rationality

That’s nearly as funny as “nastiest thread on Mumsnet.” 🥸

Well I think women receiving death and rape threats is nasty, but you do you.

Thus proving my point.