I am embracing virtue signalling pronouns in emails

[MsFogi]

I have realised I have made too many assumptions about gender over the years. I had always assumed that Paul (name changed of course) in my company was a man simply on the basis of his appearance (well over 6 foot, well built, big beard, low voice that only someone with an Adam's apple and whose balls have dropped could have). Imagine my relief to find that I have not been misgendering him for over a decade because he has helpfully added his pronouns to his email auto signature - they are he/him/his. There is no company diktat to add pronouns on emails so clearly this is important to Paul or maybe he has been misgendered recently.

So, I thought I would ensure that Paul was not offended on a Teams meeting this afternoon and kicked off the meeting by asking everyone to note that Paul's pronouns are he/him/his and that given that he has stated these that everyone please be sensitive to ensuring that they use them. No one said anything so I think they all took it on board, no one misgendered Paul and I like to think that his move to include his pronouns at work has been embraced in my meeting. Maybe as a result others that attended the meeting will add theirs to their auto signatures too.

Absolutely, we cannot win, we state the pronouns and we are accused of piss taking, unprofessionalism, sarcasm, bullying, bullshit.
We dont state the pronouns, we are not invested, literally killing people, taking the piss, bullying , othering.
Either way, women cannot win, unless they are the other type of women.

singling someone out in a group setting is bullying plain and simple. Adding pronouns is not so people know how to address you (unless you are trans), it is a way of letting people know you empathize that how people identify may not be immediately obvious. While we may not agree with pronouns, someone adding them is only following the (wrongly perhaps) generally accepted best practice for inclusivity.
Those who say this is not bullying are gaslighting, it is patently obvious that the intent was to ridicule the person and a reasonable person would take it as such

We haven’t heard how Paul reacted. Perhaps if he had been told in advance that OP was planning to do this he would have happily explained his reasons for including his pronouns (assuming he didn’t actually do that, having been put on the spot unexpectedly)

Those who say this is not bullying are gaslighting, it is patently obvious that the intent was to ridicule the person and a reasonable person would take it as such

You're the one who is gaslighting women into accepting men in their safe spaces!

singling someone out in a group setting is bullying plain and simple

That's bullshit though, isn't it? In a group setting "singling someone out" to talk about their work, or wish them happy birthday, or mention that they've added something to their email signature so they clearly want everyone to know it,....none of those are actually bullying. You know that.

You can#t just say things and make them true.

Why would Paul need time to prepare a reason for his email choices?

While we may not agree with pronouns, someone adding them is only following the (wrongly perhaps) generally accepted best practice for inclusivity.

Who decided that this was 'best practice for inclusivity?

I see pronouns and feel that the person adding them has signalled that they follow a belief system that I don't.

I find pronouns on emails offensive and triggering. That's some kind of shibboleth now right, someone has to Do Something so I'm not offended and triggered any more? I need a Safe Space!!

It's shouldn't really be a hard concept for the true believers to have to explain. Why would Paul need a heads up to be able to do so? If he can't explain his pronoun use on the spot then why is he making the point of including them?

So we should take notice of a person's stated pronouns, but never publicly out them if they are only stating the obvious. It's only the special people who get to make the public announcements? Every day is a school day. The school of nonsense.

I think you’re really setting the standard for sensitive management OP and we can all learn a lot from you

Whats the alternative, naysayers? That we all assume that the Pauls in any meeting we chair are just vacuous sheep trying to virtue-signal at work and they mean absolutely nothing by adding pronouns to their auto signature? Surely not that seems actually transphobic.

Nobody is saying that. You’re all so busy falling over yourself to applaud the ‘hilarious legend’ op (who actually hasn’t done anything remotely amusing or witty) that you’re ignoring that many of us (me included) have said we disagree with the trans movement. We just don’t think this particular action was amusing or appropriate. And as for classics? Why? What is funny about the op? What was clever in what she did?

So now the pronoun should say 'he/him but by the way I'm not trans'?

@WhyCantPeopleBeNice
I understand that there is a huge debate over Trans rights.
However, mental health statistics for those who are trans are shocking, regardless of your beliefs everyone is a person and needs to feel safe.

Mental health and suicide statistics for men who are not trans are the shocking ones, those statistics regarding trans have been debunked several times. Yes everyone is a person and needs to feel safe - how do pronouns do this? In fact playing along with it and referring to a male person as she leads to the shit show we now have trying to keep males out of female single sex spaces, and females definitely DO NOT feel safe nor that their privacy and dignity is being either considered or respected with males being in these spaces.

Pronouns makes absolutely no impact on me. By putting pronouns I am not clarifying gender but that I am welcoming and understanding to all.

Pronouns do have an impact, it's the thin end of the wedge and yes you are definitely clarifying gender, by going along with it you are saying you believe in gender ideology. Welcoming and understanding to all? Except women it would appear. Pronouns are compelling speech and thought.

Great, so now I've shown I'm open to trans and non-binary people, we can have discussions about the bigger issues

Good luck with that, they pushed and still want No Debate, you want to discuss anything you will be told you are denying their existence.

I'm not going to pick a fight over something that has zero impact on me but has a huge impact on someone else.

It's not 'picking a fight' and yes pronouns and everything that comes with them does have a huge impact.

You don't win in life by invalidating other people, we win when we find ways to get along without eroding peoples safety or needs.

Our purpose in life is to validate someone else's belief about themselves is it? No thank you. Women's safety and needs are already being eroded. Women have made many suggestions on ways to get along, guess what? the other side dismiss them completely usually with abuse and threats.

Giving people pronouns doesn't mean trans activists are winning, it means we can have a sensible discussion about what does matter

Really? Women have continually asked for a sensible discussion, no dice, total capitulation to their demands is what is insisted on, with, as said before, the usual threats and abuse.

By putting pronouns I am not clarifying gender but that I am welcoming and understanding to all

If sharing pronouns is not clarifying gender, what is the point? I thought it was to avoid "misgendering"?

She/her does not mean "I am welcoming and understanding to all", and I am sure you are not actually welcoming and understanding to ALL. No-one is.

I'm not going to pick a fight over something that has zero impact on me but has a huge impact on someone else

Well, what if it has zero impact on you but a huge negative impact on someone else?

By putting pronouns I am not clarifying gender but that I am welcoming and understanding to all

Compelling people to use the wrong sex pronouns is forcing them to pretend they endorse a belief that they don't endorse. When fact, they support the opposite belief.

It's not a neutral act.

Do you seriously think that Paul in the opening post would be embracing a concept where he puts his pronouns in his email, but still says we should still have single sex spaces and the female spaces must exclude transwomen?

where does safe spaces come into this. As much as anyone I don;t want men in my bathrooms/ changing rooms.

fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/
The FPFW ‘Pronouns are rohypnol’ article is always worth a read

By putting pronouns I am not clarifying gender but that I am welcoming and understanding to all

If a person declares their pronouns they are declaring firstly that they believe in an inner gender identity which is more significant to ones needs in life than the sex of ones body to the degree that it is entirely appropriate and non-controversial to reuse all words pertaining to sex in purposes pertaining to gender because there is never a valid need to differentiate between them, and secondly that they personally recognise and share a specific inner gender identity with trans people of the opposite sex, which is signalled by their use of shared pronouns.

Which (a) is fine if you do believe that but many people don't, and it sucks that trans ideology's reuse of existing words has left those people without the words they have used all their lives with a different meaning, and (b) is not a neutral declaration but an active declaration of your gender identity and therefore yes, worth mentioning.

If people don't realise what they sign up for by declaring pronouns they should educate themselves because it is very far from a neutral, status quo act.

no idea who decided it and I don't agree with it, but I cannot deny it has become pervasive so I will not judge anyone who follows it. Almost every large company encourages the use.

No, I meant the latter. I have sexuality needs that I insist others participate in.

Excellent post Rhino

I find them offensive too. And bullying. Paul will be referred to as 'he' only because he wants that. The implication is that Paul is just the same as a woman if he wants to identify play as being one. A woman is a biological reality, but Paul is wielding his privilege that can just proclaim he is just as much a woman as an actual woman. With all the disbenefits that means for the equality, fairness, safety and dignity of women and girls. And, we'd all better go along with this or face disapproval (hopefully just verbal in this case). Even if we don't believe in this ideological position as it denies reality.

Exactly @Cailleach1 - pronouns are not a neutral act, and those who can't see this and where it inevitably leads are being wilfully blind.