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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

If you're cis and you won't date trans folk, you're a transphobe!

129 replies

PaddleBoardingMomma · 29/06/2022 16:54

www.instagram.com/tv/CeP2jo2KZyr/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I can only apologise to your ears.

OP posts:
SidewaysOtter · 29/06/2022 22:23

Yawn.

These “folx” (a useful term as people who use it without irony are invariably twats and being able to identify them at 50 paces allows one to give them a swerve) can call me what they like. TERF. Transphobe. Monster. Fascist. Nazi.

Like ovarian eggs, it transpires I have only so many fucks to give and I’m not wasting the precious few I have left on this misogynistic shite.

LK1972 · 29/06/2022 22:26

AngelinaFibres · 29/06/2022 21:03

I am almost 57. I grew up in the 70s and I had a Saturday job as a waitress in a hotel at 17 ( 1979ish). The male chef ( my employer and at least 40) and the sous chef used to take raw chicken skin and put it over whisk handles. They would stick the handles out of their open flies and rub up against us everytime we went in the kitchen, as if those were their cocks. Male diners used to make crude jokes and put their arms around your waist / bottom as you served them,even when dining with their wives and children. Men would whistle and yell as you walked down the street. They would openly talk to your breasts rather than your face.It was endemic. We put up with it as part of life. If you complained or raised your voice you were ugly, a lesbian or bitter because you weren't getting any. It seemed like things were getting better a few years ago. There was an acknowledgement that upskirting was vile, that looking at the breasts of a female colleague was vile, that you don't touch anyone without asking if that's okay. My adult sons treat women with so much more respect than I experienced from men as a young woman. I feel so sad now. We had all those years of many biological men, who identified entirely as men, treating us like meat, like second class citizens. Now we have men deciding that they are actually women, but they are going to attack us too. Even whilst expecting us to welcome them into our spaces and to subscribe to the utter bullshit that are biological women too. They've added cis to our title of woman. I bloody hate that. And now they are telling us who we must sleep with. Lesbians were abused and mocked and vilified by men because they didn't want to have sex with those men "Ooo if she had one night with me she wouldn't be a lesbian anymore". They didn't want to have sex with you when you were a man with a penis.You are still a man with a penis. The addition of 'woman costume' doesn't remove the penis from your carefully tucked genital area. Just fuck off to the other side if fuck

This

BruceAndNosh · 29/06/2022 22:37

Comedycook · 29/06/2022 18:05

Romantic relationships, sex and dating are by their very nature, discriminatory. No one owes anyone a relationship or a sexual encounter.

Excellent point

YRGAM · 29/06/2022 22:52

The inability of so many people to recognise male entitlement to women's bodies is infuriating. A man dressing as a woman before expressing said entitlement doesn't make any difference. As has been mentioned the parallels to corrective rape are frightening - angry teenage boys demanding access to women's bodies

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 29/06/2022 23:38

Do you think he'll appreciate a lesbian's equally musical response to his threatening little ditty? Sung to the same tune, natch.

If you're a bloke who feels entitled to berate lesbians for finding him unattractive - that's quite rapey.

Now if that made you mad, maybe it's your deeply unattractive personality that you need to probe. (nauseatingly smug gesture)

No matter your entitled demands, sane women will shun you, we'll run away screaming should you try to disrobe.

Nobody cares about your reasons, that much is true. You're a pervy man, wise lesbians know to fear, and avoid you.

But lesbophobia is lesbophobia and women are repulsed by coercive rapists like you. (leans towards camera like the creepy uncle little girls instinctively recoil from)

We're women who desire women, which excludes nasty male perverts like you.

What do you think? Should I record it?

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 29/06/2022 23:46

I don't understand this. Is that person living as a female but was born a male and thinks lesbians who won't go out with her are transphobic.

Maybe they are. The world if fucked up man. Confusing. Poor young people trying to make sense of it all without stepping on anyones toes or finding surprising willy's or lack of them. Life and love was confusing enough already!!

LordLoveADuck · 30/06/2022 00:03

HeadOnShoulders:The only correct reply to being called a transphobe is, "Yeah, and...?"

I beg to differ! Perhaps one isn't transphobe and need not admit to being one under pressure when there are more apt terms like a fakerphobe, a creepophobe, a jerkophobe, etc

RoseLunarPink · 30/06/2022 07:57

It’s true that “transphobe” has lost all meaning when it’s screamed at people just for not agreeing with an ideology, talking about actual biology or even just asking questions, or not wanting to sleep with someone of the sex they’re not attracted to. So on those bases, yes I am according to TRAs - but I still wouldn’t want to say “yes I am” because to me it means someone who hates/is prone to attack trans people just for being trans. Those people do exist (though TRAs pay them scant attention and blame feminists for everything instead) and are dangerous. So to me it’s important to maintain I’m not an actual transphobe - just liable to be called one by the “everything is transphobic” contingent.

i wouldn’t wish an actual transphobic attack on anyone at all and that includes people like this, however much I deplore their views.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 30/06/2022 08:11

Its not the ears you need to be apologising to, its the eyes

oh my god the smug!

so much smug, i had no idea that that much smug existed in the world let alone in one person

SidewaysOtter · 30/06/2022 10:59

that person...thinks lesbians who won't go out with her are transphobic.

Maybe they are.

They most certainly are not. No-one - but no-one - is obliged to date, be in a relationship with or have sex with anyone else, and that includes lesbians who, by definition, aren't attracted to male-bodied people even if those male bodied people do delightfully call their appendages "a lady dick".

LeniGray · 30/06/2022 21:26

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 29/06/2022 23:38

Do you think he'll appreciate a lesbian's equally musical response to his threatening little ditty? Sung to the same tune, natch.

If you're a bloke who feels entitled to berate lesbians for finding him unattractive - that's quite rapey.

Now if that made you mad, maybe it's your deeply unattractive personality that you need to probe. (nauseatingly smug gesture)

No matter your entitled demands, sane women will shun you, we'll run away screaming should you try to disrobe.

Nobody cares about your reasons, that much is true. You're a pervy man, wise lesbians know to fear, and avoid you.

But lesbophobia is lesbophobia and women are repulsed by coercive rapists like you. (leans towards camera like the creepy uncle little girls instinctively recoil from)

We're women who desire women, which excludes nasty male perverts like you.

What do you think? Should I record it?

You should definitely record it! I would love to see that 😁

littlbrowndog · 30/06/2022 21:37

He’s just an unattractive man tbh. Nothing more nothing less. That’s it

Noshowlomo · 30/06/2022 21:39

PLEASE @Stealhsquirrelnutkin !!!

CruCru · 01/07/2022 14:06

This is quite disturbing. I am properly middle aged and can’t imagine wanting to have sex with someone who wasn’t interested. Isn’t it really demoralising to have to resort to getting shitty with lesbians (in general) because they’re not interested?

GCRich · 01/07/2022 14:33

SidewaysOtter · 30/06/2022 10:59

that person...thinks lesbians who won't go out with her are transphobic.

Maybe they are.

They most certainly are not. No-one - but no-one - is obliged to date, be in a relationship with or have sex with anyone else, and that includes lesbians who, by definition, aren't attracted to male-bodied people even if those male bodied people do delightfully call their appendages "a lady dick".

By definition a same sex attracted woman will not sleep with someone off the opposite sex, you're right there. Obviously.

But I don't like the suggestion that the solid-gold truth ("no-one is obliged to... have sex with anyone else") proves that someone cannot be bigoted in their dating preferences. No white woman is obliged to fancy black men... every white woman is entitled to know that she is highly unlikely to ever fancy a black man (based on her own experience of the way her hormone driven body responds to people she meets). But if you go around saying "I'd never date a black man" that does look pretty damn racist.

To emphasize - writing off a a group based on skin colour is obviously completely different from writing off a group based on them not being of the right sex for your particular sexual orientation.

GCRich · 01/07/2022 14:39

CruCru · 01/07/2022 14:06

This is quite disturbing. I am properly middle aged and can’t imagine wanting to have sex with someone who wasn’t interested. Isn’t it really demoralising to have to resort to getting shitty with lesbians (in general) because they’re not interested?

From going on trans subreddits it is really hard to get a grip on the truth, but I'm pretty sure that huge numbers of trans people are completely demoralised because life is shitty for them in all sorts of ways (mental illness, rejected by parents / friends, poor physical health, realisation that they will never pass).

If you were an unhappy teenage boy you were probably not getting loads of great hetero sex.... so when you transition and you want heterosexual sex, but only if it comes with the validation from having it with a lesbian, then you really are in trouble. I'm not saying that it's right, but given the position that they have put themselves in "getting shitty with lesbians" is probably their best hope of a shag, and I'm sure it's demoralising.

Fimofriend · 01/07/2022 17:33

Any woman, regardless of her sexuality, has the right to say "No" to any penis anytime.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 01/07/2022 18:15

I like penis, yet watching that has made my vagina clamp shut. Goodness knows how much more disturbing it is for you lesbian sisters!

PearlClutch · 01/07/2022 18:25

I'm all for penis in its proper place; penis-for-brains is a proper turn-off.

Hied · 01/07/2022 19:13

I'm bisexual so don't really care what someone has been their legs!

But ...

I don't fancy effeminate, dress wearing, women faced men who think they are women.

If that makes transphobic so be it!

Truthlikeness · 01/07/2022 20:47

Hied · 01/07/2022 19:13

I'm bisexual so don't really care what someone has been their legs!

But ...

I don't fancy effeminate, dress wearing, women faced men who think they are women.

If that makes transphobic so be it!

Ditto. I'm also bi and am not attracted to transpeople of either sex. For the record, I'm also not attracted to people who believe in god, those who hold extreme right wing views, or those who are cruel to animals.

Bollindger · 02/07/2022 08:54

Stonewall was set up to promote gay marriage.
That someone with the same reproductive systems, let's call them male and female could marry another of the same sex. So a male to male, or female to female could marry.
This was passed into law.
Now they want us to call a male a female and a female a male. So all the fuss about letting the same sex be together is suddenly not on. This seems so wrong.

BrownTableMat · 02/07/2022 09:13

Bollindger · 02/07/2022 08:54

Stonewall was set up to promote gay marriage.
That someone with the same reproductive systems, let's call them male and female could marry another of the same sex. So a male to male, or female to female could marry.
This was passed into law.
Now they want us to call a male a female and a female a male. So all the fuss about letting the same sex be together is suddenly not on. This seems so wrong.

Not really. Stonewall was set up to campaign for gay rights in general. When it was set up gay people could be sacked or denied services for being gay, children could be removed from lesbian mothers, there was huge societal prejudice against gay people, the age of consent was 21 for gay men, there was no legal recognition of same sex relationships meaning no inheritance rights, pension rights, right to make medical decisions etc. Gay marriage wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. Slowly all these rights were won. In fact Stonewall came late to the party on gay marriage, first arguing that civil partnerships were enough because they gave full legal rights. They were heavily criticised for not campaigning for gay marriage or even making noises against it until very late into the successful campaign.

Stonewall used to be a very effective and very good charity, which many of us LGB people supported wholeheartedly. It basically achieved all its aims and Was hugely influential in gaining LGB people and relationships full legal recognition and rights. Sadly it then took a left turn and went after trans idiocy. Probably, as many have said, because it had won all the legal battles it was going to and needed a new focus. It was always most effective at lobbying and making change in a high-level political way so perhaps the hard graft of campaigning on the ground to try to improve the remaining homophobic attitudes, or campaigning internationally, was a step too far while the trans stuff felt more within the comfort zone of nice meetings in Whitehall, frameworks and project structures for businesses.

Bollindger · 02/07/2022 11:29

BrownTableMat forgive me, saying marriage was far to simple yours is much better .
I do think the fact David Cameron agree to put marriage into law so fast, left Stonewall without a platform.
I wish they could have used that energy on laws for cohabiting couples to get the same rights to assets, instead they seem to be losing their way, on the Trans issues, forcing women to sleep with men has to be a major step backwards.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 02/07/2022 14:26

CruCru · 01/07/2022 14:06

This is quite disturbing. I am properly middle aged and can’t imagine wanting to have sex with someone who wasn’t interested. Isn’t it really demoralising to have to resort to getting shitty with lesbians (in general) because they’re not interested?

There's an experience I mentally label "trying to logic a woman's knickers off". It's when a man sees your "no" as an invitation to a debate, as if he somehow believes if he can prove to you that the reasons you don't want to sleep with him are not valid you'll go "oh gosh you are right, my reasoning was unsound, i have no basis to say no, I must therefore accept being fucked by you".

They don't even see this as rapey or coercive. I think they genuinely believe women's desire, or at least grudging acceptance, is the default state that men are entitled to.

This feels like a trans version of the same phenomenon.

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