Men Loitering in Women's Spaces

[Datada]

In the past 2 weeks, l saw a man in a ladies loo, with his family. His wife in a cubicle, him hanging around the sinks with 2 young children. I felt it was an erosion of women's boundaries. There was no need for him to be there, and he felt entitled to be there. When l walked in he didn't bat an eyelid. This was a new level of cheeky fuckery

I had to take a piss and change a tampon with Joe Bloggs standing 2 meters away. I was not comfortable, nor ok with this, and that is my right. l shouldn't have to challenge randomers in my day to day, so l chose not to.

Then last week, a man with his wife in a lingerie dept. l saw him staring at women looking at bras. I was trying to dodge his laser gaze, while trying to find a new bra style. And then thought, fuck this and left. I know a department store is gender neutral, but this guy was a creep. I don't care if a man is buying underwear for himself or his partner, once he is minding his own business and not using the place as fodder for his sexual fantasies.

These heterosexual men now just think it's ok to loiter and look at women in intimate female spaces. Women need a level of comfort and protection just doing daily tasks, this is being erased. Women have a right to privacy. Women need protected spaces.

There has never been any kind of admission or recognition in TQ+ politics that they are busily normalising and empowering males to believe:

• any male in female spaces at any time is fine, and don't dare question them because they MIGHT have justifiable reasons for making you very uncomfortable

• it's fine to tell women to shut up, deal with discomfort and not give a damn about them

• Upsetting and excluding women is a fun thing to do and very fashionable at the moment

• Kinks and fetishes, let it all hang out, no one can tell you to stop any more. Especially a female.

Yes of course females are going to pay the price for this, we've been explaining from the start. But zero fucks are given because this is in essence a fantastically irresponsible, self centred and misogynist male rights movement. Please see the overwhelming evidence if you think I'm exaggerating.

Oh and not to mention the other thing being normalised:

If some males can be in female spaces then what the hell, any male can, I want to, I need to and other males do, so here I am.

Before you got to the toilet it's highly likely the man had been helping his wife with the two kids going to the toilet

Absolute rubbish. No excuse or reason.

Any one of the following would be better

• man takes one or 2 children into the mens


• woman takes one child in whilst man waits with other, then comes out and swaps children, then leaves both with man whilst she goes back alone


• woman takes 2 children into cubicle

I guess we disagree. You have your opinion I have mine. That's life.

That's fine. But you have no right to 'OK' men being in women's spaces on behalf of all other women. You may think it is not a big deal but to many it is.

I would rather go in the ladies with my DH and kids than the mens where the men are stood in a line with their penis' out , plus the smell (due to urinals) in mens toilets is horrendous. So given the choice of the two, womens every time.

But we don't care what you would rather. Men do not belong in the women's toilets no matter how much more convenient it is for you.

Don't have children if you can't be bothered to take them to the toilet. Or at least stay at home.

I find it completely baffling that you don't want to see penises but think the solution to this is for your husband to be in the ladies.

Don't want children to see penis but ok for man (standing next to sink with his children) to be in ladies loo isn't really the same thing though is it? Unless you usually go to the loo with the door open!

I've never said it'd be convenient for me, I don't have children actually. I'm saying I wouldn't be bothered if a father was in loo taking his young daughters to the toilet. That's not him being a perv, it's a person trying to parent.

Feckedupbundle · Today 13:55
I used to work in a lingerie department many moons ago. After that experience, I would check very carefully and rarely bought anything that is displayed on a hanger on the shop floor. We used to have to bin stock that had been ejaculated on,it was vile.

Eugh! That is so grim. I'm glad I order mostly online and will wash everything before wearing it.

The man may have been in the ladies with his daughters, but I don't think it is generally speaking a place where men should be. Imagine how embarrassing it'd be for a teen to change sanitary products in a cubicle where the door didn't cover the doorway, knowing that he could hear everything.

@sittingnexttochoppysea I've never said it'd be convenient for me, I don't have children actually. I'm saying I wouldn't be bothered if a father was in loo taking his young daughters to the toilet. That's not him being a perv, it's a person trying to parent.

But do you accept that many other women would have a problem with there being a random man in there, and that his desire to 'parent' his way should not override the desire of many women for privacy and dignity in ladies toilets?

When I was a child out with only my father for the day ( he used to take me to stately homes, my mother hated them) and I needed to go to the loo, he would just ask a kindly looking lady to keep an eye on me. Not that I needed it, but still.

i think he would rather have cut his left leg off than go into the Ladies ( and he had been a Commando).

Obviously I can see that some women would have a problem with it but you can say that of many situations, someone will always have a problem with something, but you have to be sensible. I think most women would understand a father taking his daughters into a womens toilet.

I went to look for new underware at M&S Westfield Stratford over the weekend.

The womens sleepware & underware department shares a floor with mens clothing - so on that level its just men's dept & womens intimate ware. While there shouldn't be anything problematic with this, it feels so wrong in the current climate with women's boundaries being so actively erroded by men and companies.

I totally get you, OP. Any bloke hanging around the underwear section is a creep regardless of whether he’s with a female partner.

A few days ago I was walking along a tree-lined edge of a park. I noticed a man standing on the path with his dog. The dog wasn’t doing “his business” and it was clear that the man had deliberately chosen a very leafy spot from where he could peer out into the park. In his direct line of sight was a woman sitting on the grass watching her kids play football. She had no idea she was being watched. I went to her and told her what I thought was happening. The man shuffled off, pretending suddenly to be interested in his dog. The woman was glad to be told but obviously a little disturbed.

Fucking creepy bastard 🤬

So he'd send you in to a place where you're going to take your pants down with a stranger rather than take you with him to the mens? How many women would do that with their young sons rather than take son into ladies with them?

I'm not at all saying it was the wrong thing or the right thing for your father to do, I'm pointing out that everyone will have an opinion on what's acceptable.

Agree with this. I would do this too.

Men do not belong in the ladies, full stop.

DH used to carry DD into the gents with his hand over her eyes iirc.

@sittingnexttochoppysea I think most women would understand a father taking his daughters into a womens toilet.

No I don't understand the need for this. I don't want men in womens toilets end of. This only happens because women are expected to be kind and budge up because men are so dirty and aggressive. How about men start to understand that fathers need to take children into the mens toilet if they are out with them.

I don’t understand why the man in the OP needed to be in the female loo at all, given that his wife was in there?
I was widowed when my DDs were babies, and I took them into innumerable public women’s loos on my own - what was the DH supposedly needed for?
Any father out alone with young daughters should just ask a nearby mother with kids to take his daughters into the women’s loo, or take his daughters into the men’s loo himself. There is absolutely no credible excuse for a man to be in the Ladies.

This is why we need third spaces throughout the UK and clear understanding: if you have many reasons why you cannot use the toilets for your sex, use the mixed sex ones and stay out of the female only if you are not female, because your very special personal reasons for using them on this occasion mean that female people end up with no access at all .

People really need to stop being so bloody entitled and self centred.

Ireland's biggest lingerie department I understand

Oooh, spamming by a NAMALT fan girl on the FWR board. How original.

"There are circumstances when a father may need to enter female toilets."

No, the man should take any kids into the men's room just as women take theirs to the ladies. Women are entitled privacy from men and men from women as well. Privacy from very young children of the opposite sex just isn't as necessary.