Happy Pride vagina-havers

[SapphosRock]

Oh dear Cosmopolitan Magazine. Where to start?

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a28405/10-lesbian-sex-tips/

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a34553064/first-time-lesbian-sex/

It seems Cosmo's too tips are as follows:

Lesbians must always be considerate that some penis-havers identify as lesbians and must be included in anything and everything to do with lesbians, particularly lesbian sex.

If you’ve never had lesbian sex before watching lesbian porn shows a healthy depiction of lesbian relationships and doesn’t fetishise lesbians at all.

You don’t have a traditional female or male gender presentation? You should consider microdosing on permanent life-altering, experimental hormones. There is nothing irresponsible or flippant about this suggestion.

Can you HEAR my eyes rolling?

Top lesbian sex tip from SapphosRock - if you call your female partner a vagina-haver don't be surprised if she's not turned on.

Lesbians do not have to have sex with biological men who still have their penis but think they are lesbian. Why? Because guess what, they are heterosexual males not lesbian even if they present as women. Lesbians do not get off on penises, ever! Bisexual women might like biological men who present as women who still have a penis, but as a bi woman, I like my men to look like men and my women to look like women. Anything else ain't right. If you don't like it, not my problem.

Check my assumptions 🤨

no…fuck off

(line in the screenshot in case anyone wonders what I’m blethering on about)

That excerpt seems to be aimed at penis-havers.

"Vagina-havers generally take longer than those with penises to orgasm [...] So don't despair if you've already come and they're still nowhere near the finish line"

Odd for a lesbian sex tip in a magazine marketed to women.

Ahhh but @Bergamotte you've forgotten that in Cosmo world lesbians might have a Penis! 🤪

You know what is quite startling? I have never seen advice guides written for transbians on how to have Lesbian sex with vagina people! And, in fact, it's a long time since I have seen anything like that written for any penis havers...

When will 'women's magazines' die properly? These final twitches are horrible to witness. Why the hell should having sex with someone you're attracted to be 'nerve racking' and require the watching of lots of porn beforehand (oh sorry! 'LESBIAN porn'. Because if they just said 'porn' that wouldn't give the people reading this deathless prose an erection.)

OH MY FUCKING GOD

That was an uncomfortable read.

Did no one stop at any point in the journey from pen to print to ask "what the fuck?"

Did I just miss it or did the second article linked to talk about having sex with penis women but then didn't remind the readers that contraception might be needed, too?

According to that I've had lesbian sex and I've only ever slept with men identifying as men!

AGHHHHHH. So, I've got a vulva and they've got a penis and in the parallel universe we seem to suddenly be living in that equals lesbian sex!

As often happens, what most strikes me here Is the sheer fucking stupidity. All the exclamation marks. All the wide-eyed cheeriness. All the SHEER FUCKING STUPIDITY.

'Sex with a girl'!!! WTAF!!!*

*Deleted some exclamation marks.

I will never understand why women champion the penis. Nor why such homophobia is allowed to be printed.

Fucking.hell

That makes for some sad reading. Fancy telling a gay man to give a transman a go. The same conversation would be a non starter.

re the pic : I had to laugh at the prospect of opening up a dialogue about the penis owners orgasm rather than racing to the finish line …

L: oh oh yes choir of angels etc etc
L: that’s me done wanna talk?
T: no humps away furiously
L: but let’s discuss orgasms before you race to the finish line
T: ok sure because we women love to discuss our feelings as we’re about to ejaculate

or something

Offhand, is this on a par with or worse than Joy of Sex's 'turn on' remark that was guaranteed to arouse feminine ardour, "You are an A1 Tumble bun?"

I actually physically felt my heart sink reading that, wtf is going on in the world? Lesbian women are being bullied and gaslit, guilt tripped and judged. It's a joke, I feel so sad about it. I mean women as a whole are under pressure at the moment with trans ideology nonsense but lesbian women in particular are really taking the brunt at the moment, I hate it for them.

Does this read like gender dysphoria as a fashion accessory to anyone else?

I remember reading an article in Cosmopolitan in the 90s when I was in my teens. Something along the lines of 'tell your man about your lesbian fantasies and about that time you kissed a girl, but make sure he knows he's the only one who can turn you on.'

It was a confusing thing to read as a young lesbian.

Fucking hell that second article. "Sex involving body parts you may already be familiar with". Also I'm confused as to about non binary people in relation to lesbianism as surely they don't identify as male or female so therefore none of it make sense.

My head hurts and I feel old. Back in my single lesbian days it all seemed a lot.more simple.

Microdose hormones? Any hormones? Fungus hormones? Plant hormones?

Might try Sesquiterpenoids and see if I grow an exoskeleton.

@Wifwolf it certainly sounds like health interventions as consumer lifestyle choices.

From the second article:

This guide—filled with A+ expert advice, btw—aims to serve as a reference for sex with folks who identify as women, which includes both women who have vulvas and women who have penises. I, as a non-discriminating queer, personally love all of ‘em.

Again this implication that if you don't 'love all of 'em', you are being 'discriminatory'.

It reeks of homophobia.

Also, do they seriously write shit like 'vulva having person' to describe women with no sense of 'what the fuck am I typing out here' at all?