What is the correct response to TERF?

[flashpaper]

I was called a TERF at work the other day. Someone made a comment about JKR and I just said "JKR said nothing wrong". There was an audible gasp from the others around but the conversation stopped immediately when someone else walked in and asked what was going on. The person who made the comment about JKR in the first place said "we have some trans exclusionary radical feminism going on over here" and pointed at me. I just said "I'm not a trans exclusionary radical feminist". I honestly didn't expect it and didn't have an response prepared.
DP has said I shouldn't make comments like that again as he's worried about me losing my job, so it probably won't happen again, but what should I have said back? What's the correct response to it?

I wouldn’t advise talking about this at work because of the fall-out, but there’s no way your opinion as expressed there would (legally) be a cause to fire you. The other person brought it up anyway.

But if you wanted to challenge it, you could say, “Terf is a slur. That was unprofessional. I would appreciate an apology.”

What is a TERF?

I would hold fire until the judgement is oit on Maya Forstaters employment tribunal. Expected next month (although i wouldn't be surprised if it took longer).

That will hopefully make it crystal clear to employers that GC views are valid and if gender ideology is given space in the workspace, then there must be room for gender critical views to be expressed.

The days of #nodebate are over.

I am waiting for the judgement and will be taking this to our gender equality network, asking the question how can those with GC views be supported to express those views in the workplace.

That situation you describe is creepy as hell! Was the 'terf' accusor male or female?

@lemongreentea

What is a TERF?

Read the op.

A biological realist.

@lemongreentea

What is a TERF?

I'm continually amazed by the number of MNetters who haven't heard of Google.

I'd rather be a TERF than a WART.
(Woman Averse Radical Transactivist)

Correct response?
Just say “fuck off.”
You had spoken the truth about JKR.

In my case it's probably an accurate description so I wouldn't say anything much. I don't mind the term and I wish it had been reclaimed rather than rejected.

I think your response was perfect. Simple and factual. I am not a TERF.

I disagree with going down the "TERF is a slur. Apologise" road at work. Gives scope to extend the argument.

"TERF is a slur" is (in my view) an own goal for GC movement. It's too easy for TRAs to provide a "gotcha" response and we end up in a discussion about the origins of the term rather than keeping the focus on women's sex based rights.

It's another example to me of the deliberate obfuscation tactics that are used by TRAs (entirely taken from the authoritarian's handbook) to create a topsy turvy world where people start to question whether there is such a thing as an objective reality.

Obviously the response depends critically on the context but it sounds like one might have been a sad head-shake and "I'm afraid we have some ill-informed misogyny going on over there" . And then if they pushed back ask them to explain exactly what it was she's said that they disagree with.

Although this is also perfect

I'd rather be a TERF than a WART.
(Woman Averse Radical Transactivist)

I won't be expressing any views like this again. I didn't even think about what I'd said to be honest, the words just came tumbling out. It's unlikely I'll be fired, but I will be keeping my mouth shut. I wish I was brave enough like JKR and Maya but I can't risk it.
It was a man who said it. I'm surprised he knew what a TERF was to be honest, but out of everyone in the room that day I guess he would have been the only one who did. I think everyone else has just seen and heard things on social media which is why I got the gasped responses.

I hold my wheat . Is somebody says something about JKR I ask what sis she say. If I get yadda transphobic yadda, I ask again but what did she say exactly. I keep my tone neutral, smiley. It’s enough to get some people using their brains.

Doesn’t really answer your question but doesn’t give them an opportunity to throw insults.

@NotTerfNorCis

That situation you describe is creepy as hell! Was the 'terf' accusor male or female?

It really is! The pointing, and twisting the situation for someone who had just walked in. And not naming you but talking about you. ‘Flashpaper thinks JKR said nothing wrong’ would be a normal way to explain the situation. I hope he doesn’t cause you problems.

I would respond by saying there's nothing radical about excluding males from feminism

The correct response is 'yes I am, so what' but that's obviously harder at work. Sounds like your colleagues aren't on the other persons side, or at least disagree with calling you out like that.

I would accept 'MERF' - male excluding radical feminist (although I have to laugh at how believing biology makes me radical).

What @VaddaABeetch said. Try to act the daft lassie without showing your own hand: Are you sure? Golly, that doesn't sound like something she would say, hold on a minute I'm just looking on-line to see what did she ACTUALLY say, I really want to know now! Oh look, here it is, just a minute, no, I can't see her saying what you said, maybe you got the wrong end of the stick, ha ha, funny when that happens! Now we know.

I agree with the approach above - ask a neutral question - what did JKR say that was transphobic? Or -What makes you think that?
May start a debate (who knows?) but at the very least you’ve expressed yourself without compromising your position.
I think it’s appalling that people have to go to these lengths to dare to have a opinion.

Ask them to explain what they mean by the term. If they bring up toilets, prisons, changing rooms, sports, dating apps, point out that you are not 'trans exclusionary' as you probably DO include transmen and transboys and biologically female non-binary-identifiers in those spaces. And that's a big group of 'trans' there. It's the penis-havers who aren't welcome. Maybe 'penis / XY exclusionary radical feminist' is the more accurate term.

How about "Obviously we have very different opinions on this matter. I hope you're able to remain respectful about this in our workplace."

Your workplace or colleagues or whatever sound rather 17th century Salem, I must say.