Bringing your whole self to work

[FlyingOink]

What are your thoughts on this?

As a lesbian, out at work and highly visible, I like not having to make up a pretend husband if questioned by colleagues.

But does my workplace need to know everything about who I am as a person? Is there any benefit to this?

I think the move towards always-on working, where WFH can bleed over into leisure time, the fact many people work shifts, zero or minimum hours, or casually, and the fact our employers seem to want to own us almost entirely makes the idea that I have to commit to sharing my whole self with them really off-putting.

Also, what do I do with this information about my colleagues? Is it relevant? Where I'd maybe get to know someone as a friend and then learn of their passion for model boats or romantic poetry or the Liberal Democrats, now am I expected to be faced with all of this information and somehow use it?

Is bringing your whole self to work forcing the issue, is it harmless as an idea, what does it mean for various people? And how do you set boundaries around privacy if other people are determined to overshare?

I don’t begrudge anyone attending or organising the Xmas do, I’ve done it plenty of times before. It was saying that not wanting to be involved means one “hates Xmas”. It suggests not wanting to be involved is somehow joyless and not being a team player when in reality there are lots of reasons someone might not participate. The survey writers probably didn’t think anything of it but it felt symptomatic of the whole “bringing oneself to work” concept - not really as inclusive as it seems.

@NecessaryScene

Slightly random, but related, video clip:

Contrasting how old-school and modern Star Trek crews handle their workplace. Regarding Star Trek: Discovery:

I love how these people are able to just say and do whatever the fuck they want with zero repercussions, casually back chatting their commanding officers, and generally acting like immature morons. Seriously the level of discipline and professionalism here is about the same as a fucking liberal arts college. They're like teenagers that have suddenly been put in command of a starship with no training or preparation. They're impulsive hyperactive, emotionally unstable, unprofessional and generally pretty incompetent. They're the absolute last people on earth you'd trust your life to.

I loved that, thank you!

@FlyingOink

It wouldn't surprise me if the theory is that if work becomes somewhere to socialise, form friendships, and pour absolutely every part of who you are into your role, the lines between work and home become blurred and it becomes harder to detach from work when you need to.

Like the old US coal towns, paid in scrip, living on an encampment basically.
" I owe my soul to the company store"

Someone get the CBI on it. Totally makes sense. Housing, food, the lot. Solves a lot of problems.

There’s a film like this: about a company where everyone has to interact and join in and blur their work home boundaries, it’s a creepy dystopian future

There’s a film like this: about a company where everyone has to interact and join in and blur their work home boundaries, it’s a creepy dystopian future

Is that the one I'm thinking of, Cruella - 'The Circle'? It's based on the book by Dave Eggers, which is excellent but completely terrifying. And yes, the aim is to break down all boundaries between work and not-work, so the employees give their whole lives, and share all their waking thoughts, with the company.

It doesn't end well.

@Zeugma

There’s a film like this: about a company where everyone has to interact and join in and blur their work home boundaries, it’s a creepy dystopian future

Is that the one I'm thinking of, Cruella - 'The Circle'? It's based on the book by Dave Eggers, which is excellent but completely terrifying. And yes, the aim is to break down all boundaries between work and not-work, so the employees give their whole lives, and share all their waking thoughts, with the company.

It doesn't end well.

YES! I was googling and couldn’t find it, thank you! it didn’t end well indeed

@MilitantFawcett
Oops. Please accept my apologies: I badly misinterpreted your post. I agree with you. The "l hate Christmas" remark you mentioned was childish, mean spirited and uncalled for.

I would argue strongly that a well structured set of boundaries between work matters and personal matters, and a culture of adhering to them, would afford everyone not just dignity and privacy (important), but also the "safety" that people seem to feel they need, where a lack of safety is becoming reminded that if some of the people around you could, they would organise the world strongly to your disadvantage.

Bravo! And not being forced into a value system that suggests 'We hire you for your creativity/diversity/zeal/unusualness, but then we make it clear that everyone should strive to be 'more our kind of colleague (or keep your head down).'

Honestly, at this point I would just like to never hear the word diversity again. It has come to mean something rather unpleasant - we have hired you because of your racial/sexual/gender/ethnic characteristics.

@LobsterNapkin

Honestly, at this point I would just like to never hear the word diversity again. It has come to mean something rather unpleasant - we have hired you because of your racial/sexual/gender/ethnic characteristics.

Oh, grrrrr. Sorry, but your post touched a sore spot with me. Diversity, my arse, if you have a non-photogenic disability. When you look at disabled diversity models, they are virtually always in a wheelchair because that's often an easy fix.

For those of us with invisible disabilities, e g autism. NSM.

I've been job-hunting for months and apply only for jobs for which I am 100% qualified and experienced. When there's a box that says something like "we are a guaranteed disability employer and interview everyone who meets the minimal criteria and who is disabled" I always tick it. Guess what? I've never ever had an interview from those companies.

I had an interview three weeks with a company who are always boasting about how inclusive and diverse they are and how they value diversity etc etc. I did something I've never done - I actually told the interviewers in all three rounds of interviews that I have autism. Yes, three rounds of interviews on three different days with three different panels.

That was three weeks ago. I never received a reply about the position but I did see on LinkedIn that they are advertising for the post again.

I think it's really similar with many of the other types of diversity.

I don't really work in an environment where it's so relevent, but my brother is high up in an organization that does a lot of that kind of hiring. I've been to quite a few of their Christmas events over the years. So there are quite a lot of non-white hires, and also a very large number of gay men (I'm not sure about lesbian women.) But what always strikes me is that in terms of background and politics they are basically all the same lefty-liberal, middle class types. I notice it especially among the non-white hires, who tend to be what in the UK would be called Asian - not a numerous group where I live - rather than black which is more common, but who tend to be working class.

And I don't think it is always easy to hire people into these sorts of positions from poor or religious minority backgrounds and such, they probably aren't getting many applications from these groups. I don't see that as the fault of the company, it's a wider issue. But I just don't really see them as diverse in any especially meaningful way either.

It's one thing to look at places where there are real disparities and ask why. But is diversity beyond what is in the population in itself actually all that important in most workplaces? Because now it seems to be equated with "good".

That’s quite alright, when you replied I saw that I could have been clearer.

Short update - the team involved have apologised and apparently I wasn’t the only one to raise it!

@MilitantFawcett

That’s quite alright, when you replied I saw that I could have been clearer.

Short update - the team involved have apologised and apparently I wasn’t the only one to raise it!

Sorry that was a technology fail, I was replying to @toomanytrees!

Excellent news Millicent Fawcett.

This 'whole self to work' idea seems have a number of influences - Americanisation, gender identity politics, the industry that is 'well-being', moving towards an always-working-even-when-you're-not culture.

Costs employers nothing more than a few boxes of pizza, bowls of fruit or a yoga teacher for an hour a week. Creates LOTS more pointless meetings. Maintains the status quo.

No wonder it's so popular.

It's also so bloody patronising. Adults are perfectly capable of deciding what types of relationships to develop with colleagues (or not) and don't need some corporate initiative telling them what to do.

Also, when people do seem to need adjustments or flexibility for personal/health reasons, suddenly there's an expectation that people split their 'work self' and 'home self' again.

I'm looking forward to taking my whole self to work actually.
I cry, because menopause
I cough or sneeze and need to change my entire bottom half, because reasons.
I'm surly as fuck and very unfriendly, because I always have been.
I swear sooo fucking much. Because I like to and it saves me hunting through my mind for words.
I forget a lot, because menopause.
My knees creak alarmingly because age. I want to show that off to its finest whilst swearing loudly.
I'm lazy and I want to be very lazy in my job.
I think I'd fit right in.

True... if they invite your ‘whole self’ they can’t really complain when you actually bring your ‘whole self’...

I was just telling my other half that I was looking forward to going nuclear on my boss (she really hacked me off).

I am taking my whole fucking self to work today. Every gender critical bit of me.

I have had enough of this shit. People in the lords arguing that it is sometimes ok for male rapists to be placed in female prisons. The IOC saying that men can compete against women with no need to lower testosterone. The utter blatant hatred of women on display by that little turd Harrop.

Time to get in the trenches and get dirty.

I am feeling the tyranny of “bringing your whole self to work” today. Was asked to share an update on a project at a whole department meeting. The project has been a nightmare, severely delayed due to a mistake made by another department. I am working hard to undo their mistakes and get the project launched unfortunately with a delay. I was honest with the department lead about this and asked to do the update when the project is in a better place. I also don’t want to be negative about colleagues mistakes.

My polite refusal was rebuffed and I have been asked to take part in a what I am told is a “safe space” to share the ups and downs of my work! I am new to this company and all this will take place online.

I am not shy and enjoy getting to know people but I find this stuff so uncomfortable and fake! I am meant to believe it’s for my benefit but I just feel forced into sharing in a way that’s not helpful to anyone and will just highlight the failures of the project! It’s awful!