Am i being stupid? Why is it only lesbians who are being told they need to have sex with transwomen?

[StealthPolarBear]

Presumably straight men are also coming under fire for trabsphobia?

Heterosexual women are far more likely to find a TW sexually attractive than they find women

I doubt many straight woman would find a male performing femininity attractive

The suggestion that just because straight women would expect their partners to have a penis they would be attracted to pre-op trans women is bizarre.

I "perform femininty" ( how I loathe that patronising term, but so be it for the purposes here). The last thing I want in a partner is a man aping me , or if passing well, actually looking like a woman.

This suggestion seems to me a case where it would be valid to uphold the criticism that gender critical feminists are reducing people to nothing but genitals.

Lesbians are sexually attracted to women, so if a TW sleeps with a lesbian, they get to sleep with someone who validates them as a woman.

A lesbian I know stopped transitioning when she realised she wouldn't be attracted to a man or a trans man. So therefore which women would be attracted to her?

It also occurs to me that it's a traditional male fantasy to get with/ turn a lesbian, driven by porn.

But but but - surely TW who don’t want to have sex with other TW (who AW after all) are transphobic.

I explained to my DH about the phenomenon of TW with penises wanting to have sex (PIV) with lesbians. To say his face was a picture was an understatement. He kept saying 'but lesbians don't want sex with blokes!' Exactly dear.

@KimikosNightmare

Heterosexual women are far more likely to find a TW sexually attractive than they find women

I doubt many straight woman would find a male performing femininity attractive

The suggestion that just because straight women would expect their partners to have a penis they would be attracted to pre-op trans women is bizarre.

I "perform femininty" ( how I loathe that patronising term, but so be it for the purposes here). The last thing I want in a partner is a man aping me , or if passing well, actually looking like a woman.

This suggestion seems to me a case where it would be valid to uphold the criticism that gender critical feminists are reducing people to nothing but genitals.

Not at all Do you have no imagination or something? Some het women would sleep with a TW because they find them sexy, interesting, good company etc and they have the secondary sex characteristics and pheromones that they find attractive.

I know posters here probably can't get their heads around TW being sexually attractive to some women, because of being deeply put off, turned of, by men who say their women. But it does happen .

TW don't want to sleep with these women anyway because it only confirms their maleness, unless the woman's sexuality is redefined as "bi" or even "lesbian" for the duration of that relationship. And again, some het women especially of the younger generation would actually go along with that, are actually going along with that.
I disagree with that obviously, but it's happening with younger people right now.

If anything happened to my DH and I decided to get out there and date again(!) I would want to date/be romantic with/have sex with a biological man and that really is that. I am not attracted to women or bi curious and I don't see what is wrong with that preference.

^Also, most TW don't bother "performing femininity" much of the time.
They manspread, talk in that deep voiced confident way, like all blokes. Remember it's apparently "nothing to do with stereotypes" so keeping the beard and wearing trousers is the way to transwoman properly these days.

@GrandmaMazur

But but but - surely TW who don’t want to have sex with other TW (who AW after all) are transphobic.

From what I gather, the script is "it's triggering" for a TW to sleep with another TW. How convenient....

@WarriorN

It also occurs to me that it's a traditional male fantasy to get with/ turn a lesbian, driven by porn.

YYY Not just a little bit either.

I've never thought of it this way. Why do TW get to be 'lesbians' and only want to sleep with women, with no one pushing them to accept biological men in their sexual desires? Very few if any of the fuckers I see spouting all this nonsense about genital fetishists and how it's about the person not their body actually want to have sex with anyone other than a biological female. The misogyny is RIGHT THERE for all to see and it's not seen. It blows my mind

Don't forget that there was also the whole "superstraight" thing a little while ago.

A young lad said that he was only attracted to biological females. He got a lot of abuse for saying that.

Also, of course, the trolls also attacked his mother and her business as well to try and get back at him.

@AssassinatedBeauty

It's a question of scale as far as I understand it. Transwomen are male and so are sexually attracted to women in the majority. So post transition they will still want to date women, not men. Hence all the focus on lesbians rather than straight men.

Even if it was agreeable that transwomen are male, perhaps you should consider sexuality is not just opposite sex related. Whom people are attracted to is not the same as any physical sex id.

It's a point that's been made many times before, but as straight women by and large don't want to have sex with trans women, and lesbian women don't want to have sex with trans women, much the best solution is for them to have sex with each other.

This very subject is being discussed on another forum, no punches pulled. The majority think it shocking that lesbians should be coerced into having a sexual relationship with transwomen. We just need more light on this subject, more articles like the BBC one and definitely more examples of the Stonewall CEO showing their colours.

www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=205&t=1957520

I find this thread, and the whole BBC article just way-off and really deeply transphobic.

No-one is forcing anyone to sleep with anyone. Genital/sexual perferences are all valid and personal.

I believe all some people are saying is that if you simply dismiss trans, or people of colour, or people of a different race outright, then it is worth checking your thinking if that is indeed a preference or a result of some sort of phobia or prejudice.

The BBC article was laughable. Using a very biased survey from a crtitical group of only 80 people. Very odd behaviour of the BBC.

As JK says: Sleep with whomever will have you.

Just dont force yourself on somebody else. That is never acceptable.

But we all should constantly challenge our personal biases - I think that is helpful and creates a more rounded individual.

@MishyJDI calling homosexuality a 'genital preference' is deeply homophobic
Please don't do that. It's revolting.

Sorry but no! I know I only want to have sex with a biological man who is still a man not a TW. It's as simple as that, in the same way that I find that certain men are attractive but not others. I would NOT want to be in any relationship with a person who said they were male but were born female, neither would I want to have sex with a biological female or a male who said they were a TW but still had a penis. It doesn't make me transphobic;it just means I have sexual preferences and that is it.

Even if it was agreeable that transwomen are male, perhaps you should consider sexuality is not just opposite sex related. Whom people are attracted to is not the same as any physical sex id.

Transwomen ARE male, and sexuality isn't just 'opposite sex' related but it IS sex related. Males who are attracted to females exclusively are heterosexual. Homosexuality is the fact of being exclusively attracted to the same sex. It has nothing to do with gender identity.

@MishyJDI

I find this thread, and the whole BBC article just way-off and really deeply transphobic.

No-one is forcing anyone to sleep with anyone. Genital/sexual perferences are all valid and personal.

I believe all some people are saying is that if you simply dismiss trans, or people of colour, or people of a different race outright, then it is worth checking your thinking if that is indeed a preference or a result of some sort of phobia or prejudice.

The BBC article was laughable. Using a very biased survey from a crtitical group of only 80 people. Very odd behaviour of the BBC.

As JK says: Sleep with whomever will have you.

Just dont force yourself on somebody else. That is never acceptable.

But we all should constantly challenge our personal biases - I think that is helpful and creates a more rounded individual.

all of this!

I read an article about this in the DM (sorry) yesterday. I was left shaking my head.
Why aren't straight men in the firing line for not wanting to sleep with a TW? Or gay men for not wanting a trans man?

Just another excuse to bash women as transphobic.

I find this thread, and the whole BBC article just way-off and really deeply transphobic.

Well there's a surprise, seeing as everything is transphobic.

Why do I have to check my thinking? I know who I find attractive.

Just dont force yourself on somebody else.

So you agree to no force? How enlightened.

But you're fine with coercion and guilt-tripping and questioning people's motives, and excommunicating anyone themselves to be strictly homosexual.

And you think lesbians have nothing to worry about?

@Coconutmeg

Thinking about that independent article, I do wonder about the stats around violence towards trans women, how often it’s when they’ve gone so far with a man without being honest about their sex and the men have reacted in anger.

Precisely this. It's male violence that makes up transphobia, not gender critical feminists saying words.