10yo Daughter wants to go to pride

[NeedDDadvice]

Deliberately posted on sex and gender topic. Please don't move

Yes, I name changed. I want advice free of my previous posts on Mumsnet. I am an old poster of the COD and Riven era!

My 10yo daughter who has pictures of all sorts of flags on her bedroom wall, asked me to take her to pride.

My response was yes, if I can find a family friendly one. She asked what might be inappropriate and I said men dressed in leather dog suits. We both laughed.

She doesn't have a label yet but is so interested in the pride flags.

She thinks that because I don't believe in gendering, that I am Transphobic. Which is ridiculous. As I pointed out if I don't believe in Christianity that doesn't make me Christianphobic.

All my children have been raised to look for evidence, to debate ideas, not to blindly fall into an ideology.

I am worried about this blind faith in trans and LGBT+. I believe in the Lesbian, Gay and Bi sexualities but the rest is personalities or gender woo woo.

She is very like me at that age wears so called boy clothes etc. I have been very clear that it doesn't matter what DD or my DS wears from any department. Clothes, haircuts mean nothing to me, as a 70's kid.

I don't want her to be sucked into gendering and lose the ability to debate and research the evidence and looking for the science and reality of the subject.

I will start to take her to any womens right march's locally and of course find the best family friendly pride event to attend as well.

How do I help her keep her mind working?

Ps. I said I didn't care if she brought a woman or a man home to meet us in the future but I would struggle not to lol if they quote a genderism label at me. (A joke, I will of course be very welcoming to any new member of our family)

Anything at all can appear suitable for children and turn out to not be

Yes that's absolutely true, and parents should be able to asses and make decisions regarding any event without being demonised for it. Pride is no different.

Anyone with an open mind who reads half the posts on here and has ever attended a family friendly Pride event, will know for an actual fact that your claims are unfounded. At best they will dismiss you, and every valid argument you have, as hysteria. At worst, they will dismiss you as a homophobe. And who wins then?

I dunno @trancepants.........you maybe?

@NoraEphronsNeck

My 15 year old wanted to go because all her friends were going in skimpy bikini tops but I said no way.

I tried to explain about the overt sexual nature of it. She cried and wailed and felt left out but so be it.

She called me a transphobe and a prude with a little aside about kink-shaking

I don't care, she didn't go and we'll cross the same bridge again next year.

It has turned into a vile event and I don't understand why people cannot see what is happening in plain sight.

Aren't you afraid she's going to hate you when her friends report back to her and nothing vile happened?

What sort of parent makes decisions on their child safety based on if their child will “hate” them???.

She’s 10 personally if my daughters started talking about who’s she sexually attracted to she get a swift talking to by her dad

And members of my family wouldn’t entertain a 10 year old talking about who they fancy their 10 she got that through the internet I would be removing ASAP

PumpkinSpiceWoman

I hope your not a parents good parents don’t care if their children hate them good parents care their children are safe parents who worry about their children hate then go clubbing with them give them and their friends drink when they know their friends parents wouldn’t approve by their kids weed those are the type of parents who give a shit if their children hate them

@Mango1982

She’s 10 personally if my daughters started talking about who’s she sexually attracted to she get a swift talking to by her dad

And members of my family wouldn’t entertain a 10 year old talking about who they fancy their 10 she got that through the internet I would be removing ASAP

You wouldn't entertain a 10 year old talking about who they fancy? It's perfectly normal to fancy someone at the age of 10, there was no internet when I was 10 as it didn't exist lol shows age I certainly fancied someone at that age though, so didn't get ideas from the internet.

why would that warrant a "swift talking to"

I’m L/B and wouldn’t take my daughter to Pride. I want her to know that being gay or bisexual is normal and standard and all just part of being a human person; and not a “queer” rubber kink festival like our local one has turned into!

Just to be clear my DD doesn't fancy anyone, nor does her friend.

My DD is interested on these colourful flags and Interested on what gay means for her friend and auntie.

I hope this interest wanes away naturally and onto a more age appropriate hobbies.

@Mango1982

She’s 10 personally if my daughters started talking about who’s she sexually attracted to she get a swift talking to by her dad

And members of my family wouldn’t entertain a 10 year old talking about who they fancy their 10 she got that through the internet I would be removing ASAP

Why would her dad give her a talking to? Got a hint of patriarchal 'no man should touch my daughter' vibes to it.

Did you not have little crushes at 10? I was in love with Robbie Williams and had a year 5 'boyfriend' who I shared Pokemon cards with.

I was in love with Robbie Williams and had a year 5 'boyfriend' who I shared Pokemon cards with.

I absolutely loved Jason Donovan at that age, still do lol

I hope this interest wanes away naturally and onto a more age appropriate hobbies.

I think the problem is OP is it's possible that by making it seem like 'being LGBT' as a whole* is not 'age appropriate' you perpetuate the idea that heterosexuality is the inappropriate, adult version. I'm assuming you haven't said it's age inappropriate to her directly of course, but I don't think that generally, awareness and support of LGBT people is inappropriate for a 10 year old - plenty of 10 year olds fancied Boyzone and Take That when I was in primary school, in a very abstract and childish way, so it's not as though they're unaware of the concept of heterosexual romantic feelings.

*if we're taking the interest in Pride to mean that very broadly - assuming your DD hasn't mentioned a specific aspect

Oops - above should say 'anything but heterosexuality' in the first sentence!

scaredy42

Don’t care what you think with your woke feminist nonsense but not my kids who will be asking to go to pride at 10

So I fine these are middle class woke dilemmas

NeedDDadvice

Being homosexual means when a man loves another man

Lesbian means women who loves another women tell her that

Dancing around with your cock half hanging out is not being gay it’s being indecent

Give her a dictionary has good definition of homosexuality and lesbians 🧐

Aren't you afraid she's going to hate you when her friends report back to her and nothing vile happened?

Christ my kids have hated me loads of times! Eldest is 26 now and guess what? We are still close and have a very loving relationship!

@irresistibleoverwhelm

I’m L/B and wouldn’t take my daughter to Pride. I want her to know that being gay or bisexual is normal and standard and all just part of being a human person; and not a “queer” rubber kink festival like our local one has turned into!

Right.

My best friend is a gay man, supposedly the sort of person Pride should be most friendly to, and wouldn't be caught dead at Pride in large part because of this way of thinking, and also because he finds a lot of it pretty distasteful for a public event. More recently he's been horrified by their anti-freedom of information actions and their pushing transition for children.

People can say this makes him look homophobic if they like but I think it ends up reflecting more on those people than anyone else.