I know monsignormirth, I haven't figured that out either. I have no answers. I've only in past like 5 months had my attention drawn to this stuff, cuz before wasn't aware, and only ever thought in terms of: oh, someone wants to be trans, cool, up to them, I support em. Which I do, but just never thought about it. (and on a different, but related, note, never thought of some TW being "bad" and trying to take away women's spaces, which is what really got me thinking. I think I assumed if they were a girl trapped in a guy's body then they are more nice...mostly...like it's mostly the men who go around raping, etc.)
And yes, I've concluded a lot of this is stereotypes. Like girls=wear dresses, like pink, like makeup, quieter, nicer etc. And it is rather regressive. Cuz really it probably would be better if you could just be whatever you are but not have to put it in a gender category and then think that all has to match your body. If you like cars, trucks, math, boyish clothes and you're a girl, cool, you should just be accepted as you. Or vice versa with the guys. If a guy likes pink, dresses, etc why can't he just be a guy that likes "girly" stuff?
imo a lot of this is cuz society is, possibly even worse than decades past?, obsessed with image, with appearance. and also obsessed with labels and diagnosing everything from others down to yourself. I blame internet/media, society's sex and gender stereotypes (ONLY girls can like pink, for ex), and also the medicalization of society, and the even worse impulse to label every minute thought, emotion, action, usually in a bad sense (drs, big pharma, mental health fields faults). Everyone has to find out and scrutinize real hard to make sure they are "normal" in appearance, thought, emotion and if they stray or others stray one iota it means, usually, something is wrong internally and must label it and have 20 diagnoses for 10 different things, even normal things.
Everything has become pathologized imo, is some of this. And who benefits? follow the money: pharma companies, drs, mental health people, "professionals," scientists sometimes, politicians looking to use identity politics for gain or to purposely divide people which is a know tactic.
for example, instead of kids going through normal angst, and normal unpleasant emotions, now tons of em are just fobbed off with bunch of diagnoses and pills, which also does the disservice of never truly learning anything about yourself or your life, or anything else. Nothing to explore here, sonny, you just have broken systems, just take these pills and all is well. Or just be positive. Or just accept you have illnesses and plug along and keep that shit to yourself, society can't deal with broken people.
it's very sad.