Fetishes and Autogynephilia

[Alonelonelylonersbadidea]

I just thought it was worthwhile having a talk about this and we should try not to make 'sweeping negative generalisations', so in the spirit of positivity about fetishes generally, I don't actually have an issue with them if they don't impinge on anyone else. In fact I probably have fetishes of my own. Probably ones which don't fit with my feminist principles. Will maybe come back to that later.
What is the official feminist line on fetishes such as autogynephilia in terms of 'gender'? Is it possible to be 'each to their own' without being negative about cross dressers?

This thread will be gone in 5 4 3 2 1…

Yep, mine were

I was just posting on another thread but it disappeared, as apparently we're not allowed to talk about this thing.

Despite a respected NHS advisor talking about the same thing in a room full of healthcare professionals:

Tara Hewitt, a prominent NHS advisor explaining that people with a cross-dressing fetish come under the trans umbrella:

Definition of trans starts at 4.20
Specific mention of fetish at 5.28

Never get tired of pointing out that Tara pointedly describes it as, in Tara's own words:

people who fetishistically cross dress so they wear clothing to get a sexual desire out of the clothing of the opposite gender...so generally men wearing women's underwear

I don't know many women who wear boxer shorts and find that sexually arousing

No.

@MsFenellaFielding

No.

I think you mean 'No, thank you'

Good luck with that OP!

Ah, the feminist topic women are not allowed to discuss on MN.

If Tara's allowed to talk about it in front of a room full of healthcare professionals, not sure why we're not here?

@pombear Exactly this

Quite, pom.

Crossdressers are also part of the Stonewall definition of "transgender"

Titchy, my apologies.

No, thank you .

I've had extensive experience of AGP males over many decades, but it's a subject not allowed to be discussed on MN, as I found earlier tonight when a thread I posted on was deleted.

I have no issue with fetishes as long as they don't harm people (inc. indirectly) and as long as they don't involve unconsenting members of the public.

AGP fails on both of those criteria.

For any new visitors to FWR who haven't watched the whole talk, warning you now about the 'refer to the dick as a clit' and 'transwomen with breast cancer may have a more difficult experience than women'....

The room is stunned into 'no questions' at the end

But what makes 'Lib Fems' so accepting of a fetish that is, essentially when practised in public, none consensual? Is it because they are ignorant? Is it a generational thing? Is it because 'transvestite' has been wiped from 'polite parlance'

I'm not sure I understand what you mean OP? This is a really muddled paragraph:

What is the official feminist line on fetishes such as autogynephilia in terms of 'gender'? Is it possible to be 'each to their own' without being negative about cross dressers?

Do you mean:
What is the official feminist line on fetishes?
What is the official feminist line on autogynephilia?
How does autogynephilia relate to concepts of 'gender'?

Is it possible to be 'each to their own (about fetishes?)
Is it possible to be a feminist and not be negative about cross dressers?

A lot to unpack here.

cor blimey, if we're not allowed to acknowledge now that some men get sexual enjoyment from wearing women's clothing then the world really has gone mad. literally every grown up knows this is a thing

The thread that was deleted contained numerous posts that broke our talk guidelines, including the OP. Please keep this one within the guidelines, thanks, and avoid it becoming a TAAT.

I have recently had a relationship with an AGP man Illiria.

It was fucking horrific. Nearly 7 months 'good', then he revealed his fetish. I left the relationship within 5 weeks.

I think maybe sometimes people use fetish a bit too generally, as if it is any slightly odd sexual taste.

Thanks for the caution @ClaraMumsnet. Mine was simply reporting on an official public talk given by an NHS employee to a room full of health care professionals, so hopefully not breaking any guidelines there?

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg my thoughts, too but maybe we are wrong? Has Queer Theory done such a good job that it's now no longer acknowledged?
I've been in a relationship with such a man - I know

Oops - posted too soon. When we consider that fetish, by definition, tends to mean that a person often will not be able to have a very satisfying "normal" sex life, I think it becomes questionable that it isn't harmful, at least to the person involved.

Real fetishes largely seem to occur outside of the control of the individual, but I can't help but think that by normalising them, and also by exposing young people to more sexual material at young ages, or weird/unusual sexual images, we make that more likely to develop.