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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Samaritans: a "Specific Demographic"

87 replies

Jaysmith71 · 02/08/2021 16:06

Samaritans volunteers abused their position of trust by having sex with vulnerable callers, The Telegraph understands, prompting the charity to 'listen in' to conversations for the first time.The “shocking” incidents are believed to include volunteers meeting up with callers for inappropriate relationships.It is understood that there was a “specific demographic” of some "middle-aged men” who were abusing female callers by meeting up and having sex with them.The charity, which provides a helpline service for people in emotional distress or at risk of suicide, has strict rules concerning volunteer contact with callers.The incidents have prompted a mass overhaul of policies announced...

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/08/01/exclusive-samaritans-listen-conversations-volunteers-had-sex/

OP posts:
Shedbuilder · 02/08/2021 16:08

Am I surprised? No. Sexual predators will do anything to gain access to vulnerable people. And the vast majority of sexual predators are male.

ArabellaScott · 02/08/2021 16:11

So depressing.

EishetChayil · 02/08/2021 16:14

This confirms my belief that there is not a single place on Earth or online where women are safe from men.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 02/08/2021 16:18

a move that has caused fear among some volunteers that the charity's commitment to caller confidentiality is being undermined because of a minority of rogue actors.

Here's the thing - nobody will know if it's a minority of rogue actors until there is an audit. And if the audit is announced, it's likely to change conduct for the time period or encourage subterfuge.

archive version if it helps anyone: archive.is/AiYLT

FloralBunting · 02/08/2021 16:19

FFS.

Deliriumoftheendless · 02/08/2021 16:20

Jesus.

WagnersFourthSymphony · 02/08/2021 16:21

Appalling. Very depressing.

I saw a twitter thread about this. Perhaps unsurprisingly, some of the men were wanting to know if the sex was consensual (massively missing the point), with one even suggesting that if so then it was 'fair game' - by which he seemed to mean, on backtracking a little, that it might have been exploitative but it wasn't illegal. I despair - this is the mentality that brought shame on Oxfam.

It's sad but necessary that Samaritans are talking of bringing in call monitoring. I wonder how many people may be discouraged from being open about their desperate situation when they think someone else may be listening in.

Jaysmith71 · 02/08/2021 16:24

But who do you call if you've been traumatised by your contact with the Samaritans?

OP posts:
ScreamingMeMe · 02/08/2021 16:29

This is so disgusting. Predatory men will seek out vulnerable women anywhere they can.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 02/08/2021 16:30

some of the men were wanting to know if the sex was consensual (massively missing the point), with one even suggesting that if so then it was 'fair game'

He was right first time. It's sneaky predator and prey with cover given by fellow males for this strategy when it's identified.

It reminds me of so many religious figures who counsel bereaved/traumatised parishioners/congregants and have inappropriate relationships with them (sometimes against vows of celibacy or marriage vows). In a male-female dyad (as it is in many faiths) it's very often the woman who's blamed. If the (typically middle-aged) man is mentioned at all, it's because he was tempted. And if it can be represented as consensual it was all absolutely fine - aside from the whole breaking of vows aspect and then "We're all human" comes into play.

TheWeeDonkey · 02/08/2021 16:34

Fucking hell, thats dreadful. Is there nothing that predators won't do? Silly question, no need to answer.

theThreeofWeevils · 02/08/2021 16:38

I haven't placed much faith in the Samaritans' "commitment to confidentiality" since 2014. Google their Radar App...

Konyeshno · 02/08/2021 16:47

When my sister worked at the Samaritans she was appalled/infuriated by the number of 'suicidal' men who just wanted details of the type and colour of her underwear.

FloralBunting · 02/08/2021 16:54

'No one would go to the bother of applying to volunteer for the Samaritans just to access vulnerable women'

I think that's how the song goes, right?

God, I really, really could throw a cushion at a pot plant today. So angry.

lavenderandwisteria · 02/08/2021 16:57

This is horrendous.

I don’t normally consider myself knowledgeable enough to post in this section, but I was a Samaritans volunteer a few years ago.

The confidentiality promised to callers does mean everything is surrounded in a cloud of mystery. But it never occurred to me this would happen and I feel naive as thinking about it, of course it could.

Terrible.

lazylinguist · 02/08/2021 17:08

Good god. There is something not just horrifying but also deeply, contemptibly pitiful about some men's need to prioritise their pathetically desperate need for sexual gratification over all else, including the lives of vulnerable people.

TheWeeDonkey · 02/08/2021 17:25

@Konyeshno

When my sister worked at the Samaritans she was appalled/infuriated by the number of 'suicidal' men who just wanted details of the type and colour of her underwear.
See I've heard of this happening and having worked in a call center can see how easy that can be, but for some reason I never considered it the other way around.
Anotheruser02 · 02/08/2021 17:30

I thought I was unshockable when it came to how low some men will sink, but I found that shocking.

heathspeedwell · 02/08/2021 17:33

So fewer women are volunteering for the Samaritans now because they get so many calls from pervy men.

Which has made it easier for pervy men to volunteer for the Samaritans and abuse vulnerable women.

heathspeedwell · 02/08/2021 17:35

It really doesn't take pervy men long to exploit any opportunity to abuse women does it?

Jaysmith71 · 02/08/2021 17:38

As someone once said in another context:

The Priests did not become abusers. The abusers became priests.

OP posts:
HereticFanjo · 02/08/2021 17:41

@Jaysmith71

But who do you call if you've been traumatised by your contact with the Samaritans?
There is a complaints number you can call about Samaritans.
HereticFanjo · 02/08/2021 17:43

Yes ikwym. They are probably very similar men the type who call for jollies and the type who prey on callers.

Shedbuilder · 02/08/2021 18:42

@heathspeedwell

So fewer women are volunteering for the Samaritans now because they get so many calls from pervy men.

Which has made it easier for pervy men to volunteer for the Samaritans and abuse vulnerable women.

I used to work alongside someone who was a Sams volunteer and she left because because of all the calls from pervy men wanking while they talked to her. That would have been in the 90s and in those days volunteers weren't allowed to put the phone down on any call, even if it was a heavy-breather. Call monitoring would have been useful: they could have blocked the nuisance callers' numbers.
KevinBaconsJeans · 02/08/2021 18:55

But no man would ever [go to x lengths] just to access vulnerable women