Quillette
Published on July 30, 2021
'Gender Transition and Desistance in Teenage Girls: Two Psychotherapeutic Case Studies'
written by Susan Evans and Marcus Evans
(extract)
"Case presentation # 1: “Bianca”
Bianca was a 25-year-old woman who came for an individual psychotherapy consultation in London, suffering from depression and anxiety. In the initial consultation, the therapist asked Bianca to talk about her history. Bianca said that she had had a mastectomy and hysterectomy when she was 20, after taking puberty blockers aged 16 then cross-sex hormones aged 18. She said she thought the whole thing was a mistake. (continues)
Second consultation
Bianca started by saying that she was very angry after the first meeting. She said that looking back she probably had doubts during the transition process, but the further she got into it, the more reluctant she was to stop and question what she was doing. She said that she just thought she felt so alone and the support of the online group was so important. Where would she belong if they rejected her?
Therapist: You were desperate to feel you belonged somewhere.
Bianca: I think my brother did question what I was doing. However, I dismissed him as being interfering, and the group said that he just did not understand. I have never really felt that I fit in, but I felt I was joining a group that was different from the rest of the world—a group that could see right through “normal” people and their narrow view of how things should be. After about six months, I went back to the clinic, and it was agreed I would start on the cross-sex hormones. When I told the group, they were delighted, saying that I was making great progress. Initially, I felt this surge of excitement. I felt powerful, and that this was the hit I had been looking for. I increased my social transition, as I started to feel like I was changing sex. I began to grow facial hair and gradually my voice got lower. Looking back, I can see that I had doubts, which I hid from everyone, including myself.
Therapist: The doubts would threaten to interfere with the powerful feeling of being in control. (continues)
However, I was still looking like a girl and felt very self-conscious.
This was when I started to think I needed surgery. I began talking about this in my online group. I became convinced that I had to go through the whole thing—having my breasts removed then having the bottom surgery. I started researching and looking into the next steps. I met up with the trans community at organized events, and they were all so supportive and encouraging. I thought I had finally found somewhere I belonged. Once again, I was advised what to say in the interviews [with therapists and doctors]. It was like an exciting game.
Therapist: The group supported your belief that you could remove that unwanted girl." (continues)
quillette.com/2021/07/30/gender-transition-and-desistance-in-teenage-girls-two-psychotherapeutic-case-studies/