Can I just make up some pronouns

[Stopsnowing]

So we have been told how to append pronouns to our emails at work if we want.

I am tempted to identify as a man. Or both. What should I do? Maybe (S)he?

@CervixSampler

What on earth is a "bi lesbian?" surely those terms are mutually exclusive?

I don't have a clue! Although I wonder if it means a lesbian who is attracted to women and transwomen.

She/her Tuesday to Friday unless there’s an R in the month.

He/him weekends in June, hours of darkness during religious holidays and when driving a van.

Bingy/boogie Mondays, when there’s a full moon unless there ISN’T an R in the month in which case they/them alternating with zee/bob apart from my birthday when I must only be referred to as The Princess.

Weekends are none of your goddamn business, work bitches.

I shall be bat/man at all other times unless I am on the London Underground when I shall be Mornington/Crescent.

Ffs.

Or should that be ffs/fo.

@Fromage

You'd need to keep an up to date diary or have a very good PA to remind you of which pronouns you are using on each day. What if you forget? That's an existential crisis just waiting to happen. Fraught with danger.

My mind is cluttered enough without this daily mental gymnastic session to get to grips with. Oh to have the luxury of time to naval gaze so deeply thoroughly. It's like a journey back to the placenta.