Can I just make up some pronouns

[Stopsnowing]

So we have been told how to append pronouns to our emails at work if we want.

I am tempted to identify as a man. Or both. What should I do? Maybe (S)he?

I've decided to identify as a man for my next job, might hit some quotas . I have a name that can be changed into a mans name by dropping some letters so off I go ! Might get more salary too.

I'd ignore. But I would want to put:

"Name (leave space blank for pronoun should my sex or sexual orientation become relevant to the work I do)"

Put she/her.

Why not? It’ll make trans people feel less uncomfortable.

Or are you hoping to making trans people feel more uncomfortable?

Someone else's comfort depending on my use of pronouns is giving away much too much of your autonomy.
John Barnes was being interviewed recently about racism in sport and gave a masterclass in personal resilience in the face of genuine oppression and malice.
Not declaring pronouns does not come close. It's my decision to declare them or not, for my own reasons.
Trans people should not assume it's always about them.

Of course you don’t have to declare. But if you’re comfortable with people knowing you’re a woman, perhaps you wouldn’t mind if it helped someone else?

It’ll make trans people feel less uncomfortable

Will it though? What if they're not ready to come out and feel forced to do so by committing to chosen pronouns?

Given the fact that at work I have frequently been undermined and taken less seriously than my male colleagues, I in fact do mind a great deal. I really don't want to draw further attention to my sex. I want solely to be considered on my ability - as I will do to others.

@ticktockriojaoclock maybe, that’s an interesting point. Is that why everyone is suggesting putting nonsense? In support of trans people?

Not everyone is suggesting that.

@jennytogether

Put she/her.

Why not? It’ll make trans people feel less uncomfortable.

Or are you hoping to making trans people feel more uncomfortable?

Why is a trans persons comfort seated in how I call myself?

@jennytogether

Of course you don’t have to declare. But if you’re comfortable with people knowing you’re a woman, perhaps you wouldn’t mind if it helped someone else?

But why does it matter in my job that people know I am a woman or a man? Its 100% irrelevant what my sex is when doing my job.

@OneEpisode

It has to be optional?

Keiynan Lonsdale (actor/dancer/singer) said on Instagram that Keiynan wanted the pronoun “tree”.

I love a wiki talk page and at the time this was an absolute delight as the editors first replaced “he” with “tree” throughout then reverted because perhaps Keiynan was riffing, then cycled again and again.

I’m afraid there is also some right wing press articles about the editing of the wiki page now, otherwise I would say honour nature and use “tree/treeself”

Tree is a noun, not a pronoun.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz my understanding of encouraging the use of pronouns is that, where people do feel comfortable sharing their pronouns it makes it less of an issue for those sharing pronouns who would otherwise be Mis-gendered which would cause them upset.

I don’t think that your gender should matter at work, but I’d be surprised if anyone I worked with didn’t think I was a woman already … my name and how I look are pretty convincing evidence already. So I don’t see that it would make any difference to my job to share that I’m she/her. No big surprise.

What you are suggesting though creates an expectation. That expectation invites compliance.
Refusing to comply is not treated as a neutral response. That for me, makes it oppressive, not supportive.

[quote PurgatoryOfPotholes]Less effort to pick from a curated list, tbh. Here are two. First: a list of neo-pronouns, complete with grammatical guidance.

pronouny.xyz/pronouns/list/public

Second list: nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/English_neutral_pronouns[/quote]
Omg these are ridiculous.

I would be interested to know if anyone has experienced anyone who actually uses these in all seriousness in a work capacity and what the reaction has been.

@Beamur I do get that and that bit doesn’t sit comfortably because my inclination is to rebel against being told to do stuff. I’m just wondering what the actual harm is.

I think there are better ways than this to be honest.
A gay friend of mine commented that you don't come out once, you effectively come out every time your sexuality is relevant.
The same is true if you're trans. I get that it's an unfair world where the default assumption is 'cis-het' and that's where the challenge lies.
But, blanket approaches - such as preferred pronouns might work, except for when other people push back and say this doesn't work for them. Instead of doubling down and invoking emotional blackmail, we need to think more creatively. Inclusion recognises difference, but it doesn't seem to treat everyone the same.

Typo - should say seek not seem.

@jennytogether I'm not sure about that, this has recently been pushed in our work space and our only actual trans colleague who is so lovely had confided that they feel really pressured to out themselves early when they're really only out to our small team I've left mine off for now but I'm honestly not convinced that pressuring people to display them publicly is the way to support, well anyone really

In our workspace it's seems very much like virtue signalling from managers who aren't massively concerned with the actual experience of trans or gender queer colleagues or anyone not comfortable with announcing pronouns. It seems to be an easy tick box exercise to show how inclusive they are that costs nothing

@jennytogether

Put she/her.

Why not? It’ll make trans people feel less uncomfortable.

Or are you hoping to making trans people feel more uncomfortable?

Personally speaking, I don't consider it my responsibility.

jenny

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/gender-inequality-man-woman-switch-names-week-martin-schneider-nicky-knacks-pay-gap-a7622201.html%3famp

Here's the harm.

And what right does anyone have to compel speech even when they aren't around. Do you think thats a "right" people should have

Jenny there are many ways in which this could be harmful to trans and non trans people

Trans people might not be ready to be outed
Women (especially women such as myself) with a title of Dr and an androgynous name would immediately be identified as female and therefore discriminated against. Links can be provided.

But for me the biggie is that I don't believe in gender identity and I don't want a tagline which implies I do.

My sex and any gender reassignment are protected characteristics. Why should I have to declare them?

I don't believe in any god either, but imagine if I were requested to put in my email signature 'i believe that xx God is our one/many true saviour', and asked to fill in with a God and multiplicity which suited me?

None fit! And it's noone else's business, I don't believe in religion, and I don't want to have to put something in there.

To me this is similar - my sex / gender are NOT RELEVANT to my ability to do my job. The former is a protected characteristic, the latter is IMO a made up bit of nonsense, so why on earth should I put something to please a group I am not part of?

I'm not going to tell anyone else their gender / religion is nonsense or wrong, but I don't want to have to pretend I have one.

I go by that/bitch

What on earth is a "bi lesbian?" surely those terms are mutually exclusive?