Mixed feelings young "transmen" cutting themselves off from womanhood

[howtocomplain]

I just caught up with an old friend, and it turns out her 19 year old DD is identifying as a man. I saw several pictures of her child, who is using a male male and he/him or they/them pronouns, but still wearing a lot of feminine clothes and still wears makeup. All that seems to have changed since they came out, is this young person has died their hair bright colours and is dressing more alternative / punkish.

This young person is in a relationship with a young (biological) man and they say that they're gay.

On the one hand I recognise young people like to push boundaries and experiment, but on the other hand I feel there's something really sinister about society encouraging young women to cut themselves off from feminism and sisterhood by denying they're even female.

And I must admit I'm not happy with the idea of them calling themselves a gay couple, I feel it's a fucking insult to actual gay people and a trivialisation of what so many gay people have endured. These two are never going to be subjected to homophobic abuse or have to deal with discrimination for being gay, are they, as they plainly look like a heterosexual couple.

I don't know if this young person is taking hormones. I hope not.

@hoodwatch

as i said, just say u are transgender and go. why do u care about other peoples genitals so much it's weird.

It's amazing how much harm has come to women over the years because some men care so much about having the right shaped genitals in thier victims

huh? you're saying transmen and transwomen are also at risk from being assaulted by men, because I agree with that.

why arem my comments being removed all i said was I don't care about the concerns of transphobes. aren't we all for freedom of speech here and big maya forstater advocates?

Free speech not hate speech

There is a difference

@midgedude

Free speech not hate speech

There is a difference

and being transphobic isn't hate speech? how is saying idc about transphobic peoples concerns hate speech????

how are transphobic people victims of hate when they are the hateful ones....

Being transphobic is hate speech

But some people have a weird idea of what transphobia really is

If everyone here can have the opinion that trans people aren't valid, poke fun and smart ass comments about their reproductive systems and sexual activity, trivialise their struggles and issues and that ISNT hate speech, but me saying I don't care about the opinions of transphobes is?

i don't care about the concerns of transphobes

i don't care about the concerns of homophobes

i don't care about the concerns of racists

i don't care about the concerns of misogynists

i don't care about the concerns of islamaphobes.

all this hate speech too?

@midgedude

Being transphobic is hate speech

But some people have a weird idea of what transphobia really is

but how is me saying "i don't care about the concerns of transphobes" hate speech.

"Transphobia is a collection of ideas and phenomena that encompass a range of negative attitudes, feelings or actions towards transgender people or transness in general"

if that doesn't describe a lot of what I have read on this thread and this website in general then idk what to say

If you were saying that in reply to someone you are accusing them , falsely or you would just get thier post deleted , of hate incident

@midgedude

If you were saying that in reply to someone you are accusing them , falsely or you would just get thier post deleted , of hate incident

i literally said "i don't care about the concerns of transphobes"

that's not hate speech. unless you think transphobic people are an oppressed or at-risk group in society.

The women here aren't transphobes though. So what's the point of your comment? A bit random no?

@Erikrie

The women here aren't transphobes though. So what's the point of your comment? A bit random no?

in my opinion, in my freedom of speech, they have made transphobic comments and statements. That is not hate speech.

Your opinion it was transphobic, in someone else's opinion you were being hateful accusing someone falsly

A good practise is to stick to facts and avoid insults

in my opinion, in my freedom of speech, they have made transphobic comments and statements. That is not hate speech

Which comments?

@Erikrie

in my opinion, in my freedom of speech, they have made transphobic comments and statements. That is not hate speech

Which comments?

“female man or male man”

“this identification denies….coasts on ignorance and solipsism”

“Ask them how they would feel about female people in dresses and makeup coming to their bars and clubs with their boyfriends and expecting to be treated as a cross dressing man.”

“Well done trans warriors….”

“Not everyone is welcome”

“…have to find another fashion to cling on to as this one is going the way of the emo, but leaving a lot more damage in its wake”

“Do you agree that as Stephonknee identifies as a six-year-old girl…” (this whole argument comparing transgender people to pedophiles)

“i feel very sad when I hear about transmen. It is so anti-feminist”

“People who buy into gender ideology are generally confused I find.”

“They are a heterosexual couple or maybe pan-sexual but they are definitely not gay”

“No, they are a heterosexual couple parasiting off homophobia to claim victimhood as a tool to control others”

“Appropriation of oppression. They are privileged enough to be able to claim to be the most oppressed”

“”I believe a lot of fangirls are suddenly trans now, they want to get away with fetishizing homosexuality without getting called homophobes." “

“your 'progressive' movement is driving human rights backwards”

“
You could just pretend that you are using a condom, and that’s why she isn’t getting pregnant. That would work.

It would work even better if you were to go to the pharmacy and buy some condoms. If you wanted to save money, you could buy re-useable ones.

Even cheaper, you could just pretend she’s on the pill.

And cheaper still, you could pretend that although you identify as a man you are actually both women, so she can’t actually get pregnant”

“Read a little on where it said that the supposed pregnant man had been born female.

'So not a man becoming pregnant', said my OH.

OH has a science background, so doesn't get confused as easily as some other people about these sort of things”

“How anyone 'identifies' is immaterial”

“Condoms are sooo transphobic”

A lot of these comments minimalising and trivialising peoples gender identity and struggles, the purposeful mid-gendering, comparing trans people to pedophiles and vegans (?) excluding trans people using LBG without the T, sarcastic comments poking fun, etc etc

@midgedude

Your opinion it was transphobic, in someone else's opinion you were being hateful accusing someone falsly

A good practise is to stick to facts and avoid insults

but hate speech isn't "accusing someone of being transphobic wrongly" lol so to have my comments removed feels like a violation of my freedom of speech thanks

I am quite sure that is anyone compared a trans person to a paedo then they would get deleted if not a suspension

A lot of these comments minimalising and trivialising peoples gender identity and struggles, the purposeful mid-gendering, comparing trans people to pedophiles and vegans (?) excluding trans people using LBG without the T, sarcastic comments poking fun, etc etc

None of your examples are transphobic. Being gender critical is a protected belief. Harrassment is obviously not acceptable towards transpeople, but that goes both ways. And the way you are accusing women of women of being transphobic when they are simply exercising their legal freedom to discuss this is bordering on harrassment from yourself. You would be well advised to consider your own behaviour from a legal perspective.

@Erikrie

A lot of these comments minimalising and trivialising peoples gender identity and struggles, the purposeful mid-gendering, comparing trans people to pedophiles and vegans (?) excluding trans people using LBG without the T, sarcastic comments poking fun, etc etc

None of your examples are transphobic. Being gender critical is a protected belief. Harrassment is obviously not acceptable towards transpeople, but that goes both ways. And the way you are accusing women of women of being transphobic when they are simply exercising their legal freedom to discuss this is bordering on harrassment from yourself. You would be well advised to consider your own behaviour from a legal perspective.

they're all transphobic sue me

Lgb is about sexuality and therefore can exist snd have issues different to the T

T being about gender not sex

Not all t people will be lgb

You have some warped ideas

Now before this thread was sidelined by someone sulking about a deletion where were we?

Yes Melroses I also used to identify as male. As they were allowed to do and behave in ways that suited me better

As I increasingly realised it made no difference at all, sexists are sexist because of your physical body and don't care about you as a person

Quite funny now however in that the organisation I work for wants more women because diversity brings benefits and I don't understand how me being a woman makes any difference to the work I do or how I do it